


Odds Be Damned

by spnimpulse



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bottom Sam, M/M, Pre-Series, Top Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-29
Updated: 2015-12-10
Packaged: 2018-02-15 08:00:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 60,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2221533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spnimpulse/pseuds/spnimpulse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Back after some heavy editing throughout and a new chapter! </p><p>Sam is a teenager, and even though nothing has changed with the Winchesters for a while, their lives will soon be changed forever. The strength of the boy's relationship will be tested with a revelation from John that will force Dean to decide if Sam is even his brother at all. As they work through the implications of John's confession will their bond be destroyed, or become stronger than ever? </p><p>This is pre-series AU but may roughly match up with the series as the story progresses. Or it could take on a life of its own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Awakening

Sam wasn't sure if he loved or hated his brother anymore. They had always been close. Had no other choice but to be really. He felt closer to Dean than he could imagine being with anyone, but also despised him for it. Why was that?

For one, they'd always had to share everything; food, beds and Dean's clothes that Sam was always growing into. Shared the confines of the back of the Impala. Shared just about every fleeting thought since they rarely had anyone else to talk to. So why the resentment about it now? Sam didn't know what had changed really, just that living with Dean - no, living _under_ Dean- had become seemingly impossible lately.

At 15, Sam and Dean's bed sharing days were finally over and he was already growing beyond even Dean's current clothes. Instead of taking the back seat they were now always fighting over who got to sit up front. Why was living with him becoming so stifling now?  
  
John (yeah, he stopped using "Dad" in his thoughts lately too) would just remind him that he was going through puberty (Sam HATED that word), as if that explained everything. John only reminded Dean of that fact every time Dean got that dumb look on his face when something he did had pissed Sam off. And most of what Dean did these days pissed Sam off.

Sam just didn't need him babying him anymore. He was practically grown, as tall as Dean if not as bulky. He could take down anything Dean could. Had even saved Dean's ass on the last hunt.

Dean needed to stop protecting Sam and start respecting him as an equal. He was sick of the way his brother grabbed him into a headlock every time they sat on a couch together. Sick of always having to squirm away when Dean wrestled him to the floor in a battle for control of the remote. He was really sick of his brother pinning him down until he agreed to whatever chore Dean had decided it was his turn to do.  
  
There were problems with doing that stuff now. It just wasn't practical. They weren't kids anymore. Sam had reactions to that kind of contact. Sudden, physical reactions. He was just waiting for an erection to pop up at the wrong time so Dean could have a field day with it. Something like that would give his brother comedic material for months. Why didn't Dean realize that things had changed? They weren't kids anymore.

Dean was supposed to be the older brother. Did he already forget at 19 what it was like being 15? Couldn't he tell that Sam wanted nothing but space from him, even if it was impossible most of the time? Couldn't he see how tense the constant physical contact made him? No, there had to be more to Sam's mixed emotions than the fact that surprise erections were a daily occurrence these days. Well, maybe an hourly one.

Okay, maybe he always had one going, he thought with a grin.

There was some fundamental change that Sam couldn't put his finger on. How he could love his brother while simultaneously completely despising him. If Dean was in the same room as him Sam would bristle with annoyance, but if Dean left him alone he'd get pissed that he was doing something without him.

Oh well, he thought, there were currently more pressing issues at hand. Stiffer issues...

At that thought Sam lazily reached between his legs and gave himself a strong squeeze through his jeans. He was lying on top of the covers on his bed, staring at the ceiling while he thought about everything. Sam could hear Dean in the shower, enthusiastically singing, and John had been gone for days. Sam figured that he might as well take advantage of a rare span of alone time while he could.  
  
Sam's thoughts began to wander to earlier that day. He'd been walking through the living room when Dean had yelled from the couch asking when he was going to do their laundry. Sam would've normally just ignored him but the shit-eating grin on Dean's face warranted a bitchy response. All he'd said was 'Fuck off' and the next thing he knew Dean had him pinned with his face against the wall, arm held uncomfortably behind his back. 'You sure about that?' Dean had said, whole body pressed into Sam, breath heavy in his ear. Sam had broken into a sweat while at the same time feeling like ice had been dumped in his chest. All he could think to say had been 'Get off' before Dean had released him with a chuckle, going back to flipping through channels.

Sam wondered what he would've felt had he just arched his hips back a little, and started rubbing himself faster at the thought.  
  
\- The bedroom door flew open and he opened his eyes to see a towel clad Dean strolling in, sly grin in place.  
  
"Interrupting something Sammy?"  
  
"Fuck Dean! This is my room too! Can't you knock like a normal person!?"  
  
"What, and miss that look on your face?" Dean replied through laughter. "Don't worry, it's perfectly normal. I mean, if you've got not no other options."  
  
Dean turned his back to him and pulled a pair of boxer briefs out of a drawer. Sam's response was caught in his throat when Dean's towel dropped to the floor. His eyes were locked onto Dean's bare ass for what felt like minutes but could only have been a second as Dean quickly pulled on the red underwear.

Dean turned around to continue his torment and Sam realized he was now staring at Dean's bulge. They both froze in place for one seemingly endless moment before Dean finally turned around again to finish getting dressed.  
  
Realization at what he was doing slammed into Sam and his face started to burn with embarrassment. He found himself bolting from the room before he'd thought of doing so, throwing an "I hate this place!" behind him on the way out, because, really what else could he say in that moment?

Sam didn't bother closing the door behind him as he ran from the house.  
***  
After a few hours wandering the neighborhood Sam figured it was safe to go back home, his shame being replaced by boredom. He'd run out of their shared bedroom and figured he'd just go ahead and keep on running. 'And I just kept on running' he thought in the voice of Forest Gump.

Sam laughed to himself at the ridiculousness of it all.

He focused back on thoughts of Dean as he saw their house ahead. They were staying in a run down white clapboard two bedroom that came furnished and that John paid for by the week. Sam was pretty sure that any normal person would've thought twice before running through this particular neighborhood, but he couldn't drum up a healthy fear of drug dealers after staring down actual monsters.   
He drew to a stop before walking inside. He couldn't bring himself to think of it as home, even though they'd managed to stay there a few months.

What would he say to Dean? Was Dean going to make a big joke out of it to make Sam miserable? Or worse, would he be so uncomfortable around Sam now that he'd just avoid him? Sure, Sam was getting sick of being around his brother all the time, and was distantly aware that it was having unhealthy consequences, but the thought of losing that constant companionship nearly set off a panic attack.

But what if he was over thinking this whole thing? Maybe Dean hadn't even noticed? What if he'd just figured Sam was done dealing with his ribbing about catching him in the act and Sam had run out in embarrassment?

Yeah, Dean probably didn't even realize what Sam had done. Probably wasn't home by now anyway. John had been gone for over a week and money was getting tight. Dean would've normally left by then to go hustle up some pool money, probably would end up bringing home some bar prize and expect Sam to sleep on the sofa.

That last thought renewed Sam's anger (he refused to call it jealousy) as he took the last few steps before grabbing the doorknob. He walked through the door to find Dean on the sofa watching a familiar sci-fi movie that he couldn't quite identify. Dean gave him his usual cursory glance before looking back at the TV.   
"Welcome back , hate to think how long you'd have been gone if I'd actually walked in on you yankin' it. I made dinner, pot on the stove."   
"Shut up," Sam replied, "and you call me a geek," he added with a pointed look at the TV.  
"Hey! Total Recall is freakin' awesome Sammy, it's got a chick with three boobs." Dean replied, tone suggesting his case had been successfully made on the merits of the movie.   
"It's Sam," is all he got in reply as Sam headed to the kitchen to see what dinner consisted of.

Usually 'dinner' meant that there was a loaf of bread on the counter and mayo and bologna in the fridge. Or sometimes it meant Sam pulling a can of store brand ravioli out of the cabinet. Dean was also still buying spaghetti-ohs as if Sam were 7 years old, which never ceased to annoy him.

Sam removed the foil over the pot on the stove to find macaroni and cheese. It was the good kind, cheese from a sauce pack instead of powder, and Dean had even added hot dogs to it. This was actual effort on Dean's part, and Sam took it is a sort of apology for being barged in on earlier. Feeling something warm in his chest, he filled a bowl with the stuff, stomach growling in approval as he took it to the living room. Sam plopped down next to his brother and debated making a move for the remote just to piss Dean off. Instead he decided to lay low and mind his business since he still didn't know where things stood between them.

Dean seemed to be business as usual though, the joke having been made, incident now forgotten, so he tried to relax as he started eating. Dean grabbed a piece of hot dog out of the bowl with his fingers and popped it in his mouth, turning to Sam with a smile. Sam jerked the bowl away and gave him his bitchiest scowl, not quite able to stop his own smile forming at the look on Dean's face, eyes moving to his brother's mouth as Dean sucked cheese sauce from his finger tips.

Sam settled back into the sofa, shoulder coming to rest against his brother's. He tried to be annoyed at hearing Dean chew with his mouth open, but could only feel fondness and a sense of relief.   
Maybe it'd all been in his head after all.  
***   
Sam thought about that moment a lot over the next several months. The moment that the towel dropped. He usually found himself thinking about it at night, when Dean was out late or when he was sure he was asleep.

Thought about it as he idly stroked himself, not even putting those two things together in his mind. It's not like he was stroking to the thought of it. Just happened to be doing two things at the same time. Multitasking really. Nothing wrong with that.

He wondered what Dean would have looked like if he'd turned around before putting on his underwear, but found himself distracted by his sudden orgasm.  
***  
A few weeks before Sam's 16th birthday he was finally ready to admit that he might have a problem.

He'd been trying to make sure he was in their room whenever Dean was in the shower, and also made sure the door was already open when Dean came out. Sam would be holding a book or magazine in front of him so that there was nothing odd about him being on his bed at some random time of day.

He'd watch Dean walk in, towel slung low around his waist, book he wasn't reading suddenly forgotten. Sam watched when the towel dropped, watched while he got dressed, and tried to record every second to memory. It had almost become routine. Dean keeping his back to him the whole time, seemingly oblivious as to what Sam was doing. In fact, Sam had become so used to Dean never turning around that he often put his hand on his hardening dick without much thought.

Usually Dean was dressed so fast that there wasn't time for much beyond a quick look with an accompanying squeeze, but this day was different.

Dean was taking his time, swaying his hips a little as he paused to consider a style or color of underwear. The towel had been removed in slow motion, Dean pulling the tucked corner from the front and letting the towel lazily unfurl around him before it dropped to the floor.

He took his time looking through a drawer for a pair of underwear, completely naked.

Sam nearly gasped and bit into his lower lip, unable to stop his hand from rubbing himself through his jeans, slowly up and down his painfully hard shaft.   
After finally pulling a pair of boxer briefs out and holding them up for approval, Dean slowly bent over, putting one foot then the other through them. He paused ever so briefly before slowly pulling them up his legs.

Dean paused again, longer this time, when the waistband reached the top of his thighs, the underwear seemingly caught at the base of his round cheeks. He tugged a little, band digging into his skin, before easing them the rest of the way up.

Sam rubbed himself with more urgency as Dean stood there for a moment. The room was completely silent with the exception of just one small sound. Dean kept standing there as that single little noise in the room increased in volume and frequency.

It suddenly dawned on Sam that he was the source of that noise. It was the sound of friction, of skin on denim, roughly moving back and forth.  
  
Sam stopped in an instant, mortified that Dean knew exactly what was going on behind him and afraid that he'd been shocked into not moving. Sam stayed frozen in place until Dean resumed getting dressed. Jeans pulled on, shirt pulled down, a few steps taken towards the door.

Without looking back he said, "Get some sleep Sam, I need to go out for a while, make us some cash." Then he was gone.   
Sam shoved his hand down his pants as soon as he heard the front door close, not even slowing down to pop his button open. His dick was jumping at the thought of Dean knowing he'd been watching, that he even had wanted him to look.

Even as a part of his mind told him that he was crazy, that there was no way Dean knew, a bigger, more urgent part replayed the scene over and over. The thought of Dean wanting Sam to get off on him sent him over the edge, whispering Dean's name as the orgasm hit with the force of a seizure.

Sam laid there while he came back down to earth, mind blank, then slowly began basking in the possibilities. As sleep crept in Sam thought about how close it was to one of his fantasies, wondering what was real and what was imagined with every replay.  
  
By the time he drifted off to sleep he was questioning if it'd really happened at all.


	2. The Plan

Sam stared blankly out of the Impala's back window thinking about how bad things had become. They'd had to leave the brief stability of their rented shack shortly after Sam turned 16. John had come flying in the house one day and ordered them to get their things packed. He'd apparently made some progress in tracking down the yellow eyed demon and had them packed up and on the road in under an hour.

Sam had been furious that he was being pulled from yet another school, and Dean wasn't helping with his attitude that Sam was only thinking of himself. There'd been a new layer of tension between them in the following months. Everything that Sam thought he and Dean had been moving towards was wiped out. John was around them constantly now and the times that they were alone they were too exhausted for anything but sleep. Sam had begun resenting John for taking some part of Dean away from him, and resenting Dean for seeming not to notice or care.

He could finally see the light at the end of the tunnel though. Two more years of high school and he'd be able to escape to college. No more being daddy's little soldier. No more hunting. No more hotel rooms. No more endless hours on the road listening to the same music over and over again. Could finally be free of the slow torture of being around Dean 24/7.

The brothers were barely speaking anymore. Sam wasn't sure if it was just due to the exhaustion, distractions of the constant chase, or the elephant in the Impala. Something major had changed in Dean after that night. The night that Sam still wasn't sure had really even happened. Was leaning towards the theory that he'd replayed it in his mind so many times that it'd become something else entirely. But something had changed since. Dean knew. Had to know.

Things had become awkward between awkward, uneasy. Gone were the casual touches and easy companionship they once enjoyed. In its place was a cardboard cutout of the Dean that Sam used to know and want. His jokes were forced and Dean barely bothered giving Sam a hard time about anything lately. Even worse, Dean was acting like Sam was the one being weird. Giving Sam expectant looks at the most random times, then sliding the mask in place when he realized it'd slipped.

Then there was the constant stream of girls. Tramps as far as Sam was concerned. Anywhere they stayed long enough for Dean to disappear overnight. Coming back the next morning in time to jump in the Impala to head to the next place his father had rabidly pointed out on a map. Dean didn't even bother showering before getting in the Impala half the time. Filling the car with the stink of cheap perfume until Sam couldn't take anymore and had to roll down the window.

Sam hated Dean for it. Hated himself even more for feeling that hatred for his brother. And what the fuck was wrong with him anyway? Dean had been in on it, playing along. Or is that only what Sam had wanted it to be.

He found himself increasingly replaying that last time in a very different light.

Instead of Dean teasing him, he'd been lost in his own thoughts as he dropped the towel and dug in his dresser for underwear. Instead of making sure Sam got an eyeful, he'd been frozen in shock and disgust at what he realized Sam was doing behind his back. Or maybe Dean had been teasing him with the display, but expected Sam to laugh at him instead of getting off on it.

That would explain Dean's change in behavior afterwards. Sam had driven away the only person that had ever truly loved and cared for him. He had to get away. Escape his crazy life and crazier feelings for his brother. Sam was certain that once he had some space, some perspective, he would be normal again. He just had to implement his big plan.

Operation Convince John.

The only solution Sam could possibly come up with that could free him from his personal hell. It wasn't going to be easy. Sam was prepared to go to battle with both Dean and his dad about it before even asking Bobby if he could live with him. He wasn't even sure how to ask Bobby something like that, but he'd figure it out. Dean would try to talk him out of it of course, but his dad would be the real hurdle. He didn't see John agreeing to let his son burden his close friend. Definitely didn't see his dad letting his little soldier leave the war. Sam was determined to prevail though, no matter how long it took.

  
***

Sam waited until they'd gone to Bobby's for a long overdue rest under the pretense of needing help on a particularly puzzling case.

After spending all day building up nerve he was ready to burst as they all sat around Bobby's table for dinner. Dean was asking Bobby about some sigil or another when Sam couldn't hold back any longer.

"I want to stay here, at Bobby's - just to finish school" He rushed out, sounding almost like one long word.

" _What_?" John replied, the word sharpened with anger and surprise.

"It's just, how do you expect me to graduate high school when I'm being dragged all over the country!? I just need my last two years of school to be in one place, that's it." Sam answered.

"Or you could just get a GED Sammy, worked for me." Dean chimed in, sideways glance around the room telling them all it was that simple, matter closed.

John ignored Dean and said, "You're not living with Bobby, Sam. Stop worrying, you'll be able to graduate. You're a Sophomore, once you get into your Senior year I'll make sure we stay put for a while. Now eat your dinner and keep your mouth shut."

"No."

John went still at Sam's defiant word. Dean and Bobby both looked at their plates, a matching expression of discomfort on their faces for a few tense seconds until John slowly lowered his silverware to the table. Sam stared into his father's eyes, refusing to back down and unable to stay completely still, all energy and nerves.

Bobby, apparently having decided that he better step in before things got out of control, cleared his throat.

"John, can I talk to you in the living room for a second?"

Sam and Dean both quickly looked at Bobby with raised eyebrows before sliding their gaze over to John.

John, eyes having never left Sam, let a few beats pass before sighing in reply, "Sure Bobby."

Sam and Dean looked at each other as the two men stood up and left the room.

"Look John, I know going after that demon is damn important to you, but you need to take a minute to listen to your boy. He needs a chance to be just a kid who goes to school every day and doesn't miss homework because he's too busy looking up goddamned monsters."

Bobby paused to make sure his words were reaching John, Sam and Dean's eyes locked on each other as they listened from the table. Maybe Bobby was actually getting through to the stubborn bastard.

"Now, I love Sam like he was my own, and I'd be glad to let him stay here so he can get even a taste of what every other boy his age has. You and Dean can keep right on huntin', and Sam and I will be right here when you need us."

John was staring at a spot on the floor, eyes beginning to fill with tears. Bobby rested his hand on John's shoulder in a reassuring squeeze while Sam silently willed him to do the right thing.

Dean watched the men standing in there in the next room and turned to Sam.

"What the hell are you thinking Sam? Live with Bobby? You hate us that much? We're supposed to be in this together. You and me against the world Sammy, remember that?" The words came out in a long and hostile hiss.

Sam ignored the pang those words made him feel in his chest. There was a time not long ago that he did feel that way. As long as Dean was there he could have done anything, would've followed him anywhere, but those days were over. Now they were just John's pawns in a war against a demon that Sam wasn't even sure existed anymore.

"I'm sick of it Dean," Sam hissed back. "You might want to be his little attack dog but I'm not doing it anymore. All we do is follow his orders, and for what? Don't you realize how fucked our lives are?? Or are you just too stupid to see it?!"

"Yeah, guess I'm dumb enough to think I belong with the only family I have left."

"Look, it's not like I don't want to be -live- with you anymore, but I just can't after-" Sam stopped himself, head spinning at what he almost said. He had to think of something else to say, like right fucking then before he completely lost it.

"All I want to do is finish school. Make friends that think the supernatural only exists in movies. I want the biggest excitement of my week to be playing video games!" Sam couldn't control the desperate emotion that colored his words as he thought about the real reason he had to get away from Dean. Hopefully his brother would buy the excuse.

"That's not our life, Sam," Dean said simply, giving his brother a curious look.

Sam was silent for a while as he considered what Dean said. "I know, I just need to pretend for a while."

Sam couldn't look at his brother as he hoped his quick cover up had been enough to avoid disaster. It looked like Dean wasn't ready to go there yet either. The two brothers went quiet as they sat in the weight of what had been said and what had gone unsaid.

***  


The older hunters walked back into the dining room, Bobby sitting back down with a loud thud. John remained standing, looking at his boys, expression stern.

"You two boys are all I have left. Everything I've done is to protect you and prepare you for what's out there. But-"

"You should let him stay, Dad. If he has a chance to finish high school we should give it to him. I'll still have your back on hunts. Sammy deserves a chance to be a normal kid." Dean's interruption got him a sharp look from John.

Sam turned to Dean, surprise replacing the defiance that'd returned to his face upon his father's return. Surprise morphing into something Sam couldn't-or wouldn't- identify as what Dean had actually said hit him.

Dean saw his expression and scoffed. "What? You're already the team dork, and it's not like we can't just call you to look something up for us. And you don't even go out on all of the hunts anyway, we'll probably kill shit faster anyway," Dean said with a scoff, big smile plastered on is face, winking at Sam with that last sentence to let him know he was just trying to lighten the mood. The brief return of old Dean made his heart ache.

"I'm the one that'll be making the decision here Dean," John said.

Sam refused to let the sinking feeling in his chest show on his face. He'd expected to lose the first battle, after all. Was ready for a drawn out war.

"I'm gonna give it a chance Sam. Bobby here tells me he doesn't mind looking after you as long as you're in school. But you get anything under a B and it's over. If I hear about you slacking off, it's over. You go mouthing off to Bobby and it's over. Summer and winter breaks, you're back on the road with us. And you're getting a job, we can't expect Bobby to pay your way too."

"I meant what I said to your daddy, you're welcome to stay here son, but don't expect Club Med," Bobby said.

Sam let out a breath that he felt like he'd been holding for hours, huge grin spreading over his face. Dean and Bobby exchanged a quick glance before picking their forks back up and eating again as if they'd just agreed on something as trivial as desert.

They finished the meal in silence, Bobby retiring to bed quickly after to leave them alone to talk. They cleaned off the table, putting the dishes in the sink before moving on to the living room.

Dean was the first to speak, "Dad, are you really doing this? You're really letting Sam stay here?"

"Don't tell me you're changing your mind now son," John replied, an amused tone to his voice. Sam was still too thrown off by how the evening had played out to say anything. He'd been expecting this to be the first salvo in a fight that could drag on for days, months even. He'd refused to even hope it would go this well. Panic began flooding his mind as he realized how drastically his life was about to change.

"No sir, just, didn't think you'd go for it is all," Dean replied.

Sam wondered about that too. He also wondered why Dean had suddenly supported him so easily. It's not like he saw any value in going to school. Dean had gone for a GED as soon as he'd been able to, just to unburden himself with what he saw as the charade that school was. Just something that was required by law. Dean was always calling him 'geek' and 'nerd' for studying and actually caring about his grades. Yet when it came down to it he'd thrown in with Sam so he could go to one school and graduate, like a normal kid.

Or had Dean seen right through Sam's reasoning to the core of what was driving Sam's need to escape? Maybe he felt the same twisted desire that Sam both coveted and feared. What if Sam wasn't the only one feeling like he was strapped to an out of control freight train headed towards one impossible conclusion. Sam shook his head to clear as much of his thoughts as possible.

"I'm sorry you never got this chance Dean"-quick scoff from Dean at the absurdity that he would've ever wanted to stop hunting-"but I want to do better for you Sam. Now you boys get some sleep."

The brothers headed to Bobby's spare bedroom, following their father's order by reflex as John started preparing the sofa for sleep.

Sam and Dean both stopped upon entering, gazes locked onto the single queen bed in the middle of the room, burgundy comforter the only shock of color in a room dominated by shades of brown.

Sam's gaze shifted to Dean and he was staggered by what he saw there. Love, desire, fear. He swallowed and his eyes unconsciously darted back to the bed.

Reality crashed in on Sam as he became extremely aware that this was the first time he'd really been alone with Dean in months. He met Dean's eyes again, unable - and unwilling - to hide his desperate need.

Dean turned and slowly shut the bedroom door when Sam began walking to the side of the bed nearest to him. As he stood by the mattress he heard the simple lock being slid into place and looked back at Dean.

"So..." Sam said.

Any further words were cut off by Dean's approach. All Sam could hear was his own heartbeat as Dean stopped a mere inch from his face.

"So," Dean replied.

***

They stood for a moment just breathing each other's air. Sam's mind had completely shut down and he'd been reduced to simply staring into his brother's face.

Dean took his hand and reached behind Sam to pull the covers down. Once pulled back, Dean got into the bed, slowly walking on his knees across to the opposite side. Once there he turned to face Sam again, pulling him in as he did so.

Sam turned to follow, crawling on the mattress in the same manner, still unable to comprehend everything that was happening. Dean settled into the bed on his side facing Sam. He gently pulled at Sam until he did the same, with Dean turning him so that Sam was the little spoon.

Dean let go of him to grab the comforter and pull it over them, then pulled Sam in close, spooning against him. They were both still in their jeans and shirts but neither seemed to notice as Dean tucked his bare feet under Sam's and nuzzled his nose against the back of Sam's neck. Sam could feel Dean's heart pounding against his back as the arm holding him tightened. Sam's mind was a whirlwind of thoughts, full of all the things he wanted to say and do. He decided to stay perfectly still and quiet though, afraid of breaking whatever spell they were under.

Suddenly Sam found himself absent of Dean's warmth and then the room was dark with a loud click. Dean returned to his side and pulled Sam in close again, sighing deeply as he positioned himself as snugly as possible. Sam wiggled a little, gently pushing back against Dean. It wasn't much, but it was enough to convey everything he was feeling.

"Gonna miss you," Dean said low in Sam's ear.

Sam could tell that his brother was already drifting off to sleep. There would be no sleep for Sam, however. Not as the implications of what Sam had asked for began to really sink in. He was leaving Dean right as his brother seemed to confirm everything Sam had wanted. Sam's need to flee from him now seemed ludicrous, as if only a possessed version of himself could have possibly wanted such a thing.

After several hours of regretful thought, however, Sam knew there was no going back on his decision to stay with Bobby. Dean would never let whatever this was between them see the light of day, and it would be even more painful to act like everything was normal after spending that night with Dean.

Sam would have to take comfort in the love that Dean was showing him there and then. Knowing how they felt would have to be enough for him until the day he didn't need it anymore.


	3. At Last

Dean figured he'd waited long enough. His Sammy was 18 and getting close to graduation. Dean had given Sam the time and space for some much needed perspective. He'd managed to put his own wants aside to stop from ruining Sam before he could really decide what he wanted. He'd kept Sam safe from himself.

The distancing had begun well before Sam's decision to stay behind at Bobby's. Dean had made the conscious effort to do so after he'd given Sammy that little show with the towel. He'd taken things with his brother too lightly and ended up potentially scarring him for life. Thinking back, it was supposed to have been innocent, something funny to ease the tension that had been developing, but it ended up as something much more.

He knew Sam had been watching him for a while up to that point. Subtlety was not one of Sam's strengths. Hell, Dean was pretty sure the book Sam had been holding had even been upside down once or twice when he'd walked in the room fresh from showering. Dean didn't mind the attention, really. He realized how odd that was, looking back on it. But hey, he was hot, so what if his Sammy wanted to appreciate the view? So Dean had figured he'd tease him a little. Let Sam know that he'd known what he was up to, and that it was okay. No big deal. It wasn't as if Sammy had much else to look at anyway.

But then it had become serious. Hearing Sam rub himself like mad had hit Dean like a ton of bricks. Sam wasn't just looking, it wasn't an innocent spying game played by a curious (and okay, maybe a little mixed up) teen. Sam wanted him. Was actually getting off on what Dean had been doing.

Dean had quickly pulled on some clothes and headed out of the house. Fresh air had cleared his head enough to allow him to think about what had been going on. If he'd started encouraging Sam at that point then he would have been taking responsibility for potentially ruining any chance the kid had left of being normal. So he'd resolved himself to put a stop to it. When Sam had demanded to stay with Bobby it was confirmation that Dean had done the right thing. Sam obviously wanted to get away from him and put an end to whatever feelings had been boiling just under the surface.

Things were different now though. Sam had had a couple of years to find himself. To find a girlfriend and decide what he wanted to do with his life. To get over a brief infatuation with Dean or decide that it was much more than that. And Dean was pretty sure that it was much more than that. Every time Dean had tried fishing for information about Sam's personal life his brother made it clear that there wasn't anyone. Whenever they were able to make it to Bobby's between hunts Sam still looked at him like Dean was the only thing that mattered in the world. Exploring this thing with Sam was a no brainer for Dean. Life had always been about Sammy. Taking care of him, keeping him safe, making him happy. If Sam needed the last thing that Dean could give then why shouldn't he give that too?

Dean was distantly aware that he shouldn't be taking a physical relationship with his brother so lightly. Society wouldn't accept it, not to mention their father. But what else did the Winchesters do that was socially acceptable? It wasn't as if life on the road hunting down the supernatural, all funded by hustling and credit card fraud, was normal.

So Dean had had a lot of time to think about what life with his Sammy would be like once he got his brother back. Now that the Impala was his they'd be alone on the road. With Sam at his side they could take on any new cases and let John pursue the demon on his own. They'd have the freedom and privacy to do what they wanted. What else could they ask for?

Dean was damn near giddy with anticipation as he guided the Impala towards Bobby's. John had finally given Dean the car after he'd finished restoring a truck that'd been a work in progress at the salvage yard for years. With Sam giving them a reason to be at Bobby's on a regular basis his dad had finally taken the time to get it in good running order.

The Impala was the first of two very simple things Dean wanted in order to be basically happy in life. The other was Sammy. As soon as they were alone at Bobby's Dean was going to show Sam what he'd been missing.

***

Sam heard the rumble of the Impala and tried to keep his anxiety under control as the sound grew louder. His usual nerves about seeing his brother were compounded by the fact that he was going to tell Dean that he'd been accepted to Stanford. That was a conversation he was decidedly not looking forward to having.

Sam still couldn't believe he'd been accepted. Bobby had seen the mail out on the dining room table and gave a begrudging congratulations after Sam had explained what it was. Bobby's first question had been to ask if Sam had told John about it yet. When the answer was no, Bobby responded with a couple of soft pats to Sam's shoulder and then left the room. It wasn't the reaction he was hoping for but Sam's excitement refused to be subdued. Bobby may have been worried about how Sam was going to tell his father, but Sam was far more worried about telling his brother.

Dean had been talking a lot lately about Sam getting back on the road with him. It wasn't unusual for Dean to call from the road but the calls had increased to near daily over the past few weeks. On top of that, Dean would do most of the talking - definitely unlike him - going on about what Sam had missed and how if he'd been there Dean wouldn't have been cut/scratched/bruised by the monster of the week. It wasn't said to make Sam feel guilty about not being with him on the hunt, but was to let Sam know how missed he was. It was Batman needing his Robin.

Dean talked about how much better it was going to be now that it would be just the two of them. Sam had never actually agreed that he'd be going back on the road, but he never stopped Dean from talking about it either. Sam just didn't know how to break it to him over the phone that he was going to college, that there would be no hunting for him. Now that Dean was pulling up to Bobby's he realized he still had no idea how he was going to do it.

Dean came through the door fast, ridiculous smile on his face as he headed straight for Sam and pulled him into a bear hug. Dean managed to raise him off the ground a few inches before releasing him and ruffling the taller man's hair.

"So not fair that my baby brother is taller than me," Dean groaned.

"Yeah well I told you smoking was gonna stunt your growth," Sam replied.

Dean had smoked for a couple of years as a teenager. Sam figured that it was because Dean thought it made him look cool. It had not looked so cool when John had found out and made him chain smoke every remaining cigarette in the pack he'd found in Dean's bag. He never smoked again. Sam didn't know if it had been that experience or his dad telling Dean how stupid he was that'd had the greater effect.

John followed Dean through the door next, bag slung over his shoulder, as Bobby descended the stairs.

"Dean, John," Bobby said with a nod to each.

John responded in kind and Dean asked how they'd been. After some small talk John and Bobby gave each other a meaningful look and told the boys they needed to go into town for some things and to not wait up. The brother's knew that was code for the two men closing the local bar down and told them not to have too much fun. Sam figured there was a good chance that Officer Mills would be driving them back tonight.

***

Dean watched them leave from the window for a few minutes as Sam worked up the nerve to tell Dean about Stanford. He knew if he didn't do it now he might never get it out.

"Dean-"

Sam was cut off by the crush of Dean's lips against his own as Dean grabbed his face between both hands. Before Sam had time to process what was going on Dean pulled back, smiled, and said, "I'm gonna grab a shower."

Sam watched dumbfounded as Dean headed to Bobby's bathroom. The sound of the shower starting snapped him back to reality and he headed for what he'd come to think of as his room. He didn't know why but something told him that Dean would be expecting to find him there when he came out. Sam thought about taking his shirt off, but decided against it. He then thought he should be on the bed but had a compulsion to start cleaning up the room before Dean came back. He started running around, kicking clothes into one larger pile and trying to put the stray books that were strewn about into some kind of order. After several minutes Sam stood at the foot of his bed surveying the room. It would have to do.

"Sam."

He turned around to find Dean standing in the doorway wearing only a towel. He was locked in place as Dean took a few steps in, turning to shut and lock the door. Dean turned back to Sam, in the middle of the room now, and just looked at him.

"Come here," Dean said.

Sam obeyed immediately, walking over to him and coming to a stop when they were face to face. Dean kissed him again, slower and more softly this time, and Sam responded immediately, returning the kiss with a quiet groan.

"You liked looking at my naked ass, didn't you Sam." Dean said.

"Yes," said Sam, a whisper.

"On your knees."

Sam slowly lowered himself to his knees, leaning in so that his nose brushed along Dean's chest and stomach on the way down.

Dean turned around and Sam was faced with the top of Dean's ass visible just above the towel.

"Pull off the towel."

Sam hesitated, then slowly brought both arms up and placed his hands on Dean's hips, tucking his fingers under the towel before pulling down. The towel fell free and Sam now had Dean's perfect ass directly in front of his face. Dean then leaned back on the heels of his feet just enough so that the cleft of his ass met Sam's nose, Sam's lips touching where the two halves met. Sam angled his head down and tentatively stuck out his tongue, lightly running it along the crevice between Dean's cheeks, from bottom to top.

Dean let out a low satisfied growl, reaching behind himself to grab the back of Sam's head and push his face in hard against his ass. This broke something free deep within Sam and he grabbed onto Dean's hips as he began to give his ass several deep licks, softly moaning as he explored his hole with his tongue. Sam at first could only taste and smell the soap Dean had just used, but soon reached the pure essence that was Dean.

Sam had just settled into a steady tongue fucking rhythm when Dean pulled away, turned around and presented Sam with a face full of cock. Sam greedily opened is mouth but was disappointed when Dean held his dick up and away from him. Dean leaned forward again, bringing his balls to Sam's still open mouth and letting his hard member rest against Sam's face.

Sam moaned as he licked and mouthed at Dean's balls, trying to get both in his mouth without hurting Dean. After a valiant effort he gave up in favor of concentrating his attention on one at a time. Dean responded with a stream of words added to every exhale. Every 'fuck' and 'yeah' that Dean uttered made Sam's dick jump as it got increasingly wet inside his pants. Sam was getting desperate to touch himself and started fumbling with the button on his jeans, one hand still cupping Dean's ass.

Dean stepped back and leaned down to pull Sam up so that they were standing face to face again. Dean raised Sam's arms up, then slowly lifted his shirts over his head. Shirts dropped, Dean's hands moved to finish unbuttoning his jeans, squatting down to pull them and his underwear down in one smooth movement. Dean licked the tip of Sam's leaky head on his way up, sucking at the slit, before standing up again.

Dean then moved Sam towards the bed, positioning him on his back and tucking the pillows under Sam's shoulders and head. Once he had Sam lying on his back the way he wanted him Dean crawled on top, knees on either side of his chest. Dean sat back on him, straddling him and lowering himself onto Sam's hardness long enough to earn a gasp before coming back up on his knees. He grabbed himself at the base and slowly dragged the end of his dick across Sam's lips, leaving them shiny and wet. Sam licked the pre-come from his mouth then opened up, darting his tongue out to lap at a fresh drop at the tip of Dean's cock.

Dean pushed forward and sunk into the warm wet softness of Sam's mouth until his body was flush with Sam's face, pulling back almost instantly at the sound of muffled coughs.

Sam's eyes were wet from the strain of trying to accommodate Dean's length without gagging, struggling to breathe and not scrape Dean with his teeth. Once Sam calmed some, Dean began pumping his hips, bringing his thick cock almost completely out of Sam's mouth before pistoning back in.

"Fuck yeah Sammy, you like me fucking your mouth?"

"Mmmphhphhm" Sam struggled to agree, needing Dean to know how much Sam wanted this.

"Yeah, you love it don't you. Love turning your mouth into a pussy just so you can take my cock."

Sam was making frantic noises now as Dean sped up the pace, reaching around Dean's thigh to start jerking himself off.

"You want my load baby? Want to make me so fuckin' hot with that mouth of yours that I just come down your throat?"

Sam tried nodding his head, Dean now pounding into his face as his orgasm started to build. He stopped touching himself to keep from coming and grabbed Dean's ass with both hands, pulling him in with every thrust.

"Fuck yeah Sammy, gonna come in your mouth." Dean started bucking into Sam as he came, groaning loudly and grabbing the back of Sam's head to bury himself as deep as possible. Sam choked on Dean's seed, instinctively pushing his hips away as he struggled to breathe and swallow. The last shot of spunk hit Sam in the face as Dean's cock was pushed from his mouth. Dean's hand shot to his dick and he stroked himself through the end of his orgasm, rubbing the last of his come on Sam's mouth and chin.

Dean flopped over next to Sam, realizing too late that Sam had come all over the small of his back. He decided not to move, figuring the mess was already made, and threw his arms over his head as he caught his breath.

"That was..." Sam said through heavy breaths of his own.

"Yeah... and we're just gettin' started baby boy."

 


	4. Hard Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soft non-con warning. Feedback is greatly appreciated.

Dean rolled out of bed to grab their shirts, wiping his back with one before dropping it back on the floor. He brought Sam's t-shirt back to bed and gently wiped Sam's face clean with it. Sam watched him with a look of open adoration, unable to take his eye's from his bother's face. Dean huffed out a small laugh then leaned in to kiss Sam, slow and sweet, lightly running his tongue along Sam's lips. Sam opened to him easily, ready for it this time, and slid his own tongue across Dean's as it entered his mouth.

Dean let out a low rumble and pulled out of the kiss. He rubbed his nose lightly against Sam's then kissed his cheek before mouthing his way down Sam's neck. Dean spent some time on Sam's collar bone next, sucking at the same spot until he was satisfied with the purple mark that appeared.

He glanced up at Sam before working is mouth down to his left nipple. He rubbed at the sensitive flesh with his lips and tongue before nipping at it with his teeth, causing a surprised yelp from Sam. Dean then kissed his way down across Sam's stomach, using his left hand to gently rub and squeeze at Sam's right nipple as he moved.

Dean stopped to pull his head back when he reached the head of Sam's shaft, taking a little time to appreciate what he was seeing. Sam was fully erect again, dick jumping in anticipation.

Sam was big, simple as that. Looking a little longer and thicker that what would be proportional for Sam's large frame, it would have looked downright huge on any non-sasquatch. Dean leaned back in, dragged his tongue between Sam's balls and quickly up along his shaft, closing his mouth on the tip to suck away the pre-come. He worked his tongue at the slit for a few seconds before sitting back on his calves between Sam's legs.

They looked at each other then, Sam's face a question of what was going to happen next, Dean's answer a sly grin. Dean had been pretty sure Sam would let him take the lead with this. If Sam had wanted to be the one in charge then he would've shown it a few years ago. Instead he'd run away from it and now wanted whatever Dean was ready to give.

Dean jumped off the bed and put his ear to the bedroom door. Apparently satisfied, he opened the door and darted out, still completely naked. He returned seconds later with his bag, tossing it by the bed and turned to close and lock the door.

Sam looked incredulous at what Dean had just done, then shook his head and gazed at his brother in wonder. Dean acted like he didn't notice as he bent over to rifle through his bag, standing upright with a small bottle in hand.

Sam was still rock hard as Dean crawled back in bed between his legs. He lifted each of Sam's legs, pushing them back to rest each ankle on his shoulder. Sam grabbed himself as Dean's cock came to a rest on Sam's ass.

***

Sam was pretty sure that if he moved his hand at all he was going to come. Looking at the way his legs were pushed back, leaving him completely open to Dean, was an incredible turn on. Dean was idly stroking himself while he took in the sight of Sam before him. Dean seemed to come back to the moment and snapped open the bottle he'd been holding. After squeezing some of the clear liquid onto his fingers his hand moved to Sam's ass. Two of the fingers started gently rubbing at Sam's entrance, slicking him up everywhere they touched.

"You ever done this before Sammy?"

"No," Sam replied, breathless.

"And you're not going to, are you, with anyone else." It was a statement of fact instead of a question.

"Never."

"This" -pressure increase at Sam's hole- "is only for me."

"Yes. Only you"

"That's right Sammy," and he gasped as Dean pushed his index finger past Sam's tight ring of muscle.

The feeling was uncomfortable, mostly burning with a little pain. The shock of being penetrated removed the fog of lust and slammed Sam firmly back into reality. He was going to say something to Dean, have him stop moving if not stop altogether when the finger left him.

"You gotta relax Sam, just let me in."

That was easy for Dean to say, it wasn't his asshole that was being stretched open. Sam was ready to say just that when Dean's thumb moved to rub against Sam again. Not pushing in, just deep circular massages. That felt good, really good, and Sam found himself sinking back in the bed as tensed muscles began to relax.

"It's going to hurt at first, you just have to remember to breathe," Dean said, then he leaned down over Sam, spreading his legs out as he devoured Sam's mouth. His thumb was replaced by the index finger, and Sam felt it pushing slowly inside again.

Sam inhaled sharply at the invasion but Dean kissed him through it.

"It'll help if you can keep yourself hard through the pain."

Sam instantly started moving the hand that'd been holding his dick, realizing he'd gone mostly soft as pain and uncertainty had replaced desire. Dean just left his finger inside of him and Sam realized he could handle that, started getting hard again as he thought of how that was Dean inside of him, over him, kissing him.

Sam let out a moan as his thoughts shifted to that finger being replaced by Dean's cock. Fuck he wanted it, no matter how much it might hurt. He kept moaning as he pushed down into Dean's finger, wanton desire now overriding any discomfort.

"Fuck yeah Sammy," Dean said as he started moving his finger steadily in and out. Dean then slipped a second finger in causing Sam to cry out in a sound of mostly pleasure, pleasure at letting Dean do whatever he wanted to him. Sam figured with two fingers already in he was ready for Dean to fuck him, dick straining at the thought.

"Fuck me Dean. Please"

Dean responded immediately by pulling out his fingers and sitting up on his knees. Sam heard the bottle snap open again and watched as Dean rubbed liberally between his cheeks followed by Dean slicking his own dick up. Sam really noticed now how fat Dean's cock looked and wondered if he was going to be able to take it, letting his head drop back on the pillow as Dean positioned himself at Sam's opening.

"Look at me."

Sam met Dean's eyes and flushed face, having no time to take in Dean's wrecked look before his ass was being invaded again, this time by something much bigger than one or two fingers. Sam tensed up and stopped breathing, hands darting to Dean's hips to hold him in place.

"Breathe Sammy, relax, it's just the head in so far." Dean said, slowly sliding in further after saying the words.

Sam was forcing himself to breathe at his brother's command but there was no relaxing. Dean continued to push in, hips overpowering Sam's hands. The pain and burning built up until Sam had to get free of the impalement. He pushed harder on Dean's hips and tensed his body up, ready to pull back and roll out of bed if necessary.

"Just let me, I'm already so close," Dean said, his tone intoxicating Sam, and then he pulled out before thrusting back in again. Sam realized Dean was going to take what he wanted and gave himself over to it, dropping his hands while letting his legs fall open. Dean took over completely, grabbing his hips and thrusting into him harder and faster. Sam cried out when Dean's cock started hitting his prostate. Pain was instantly replaced by intense, almost orgasmic pleasure as Dean drove into him over and over again, rubbing that amazing spot that Sam hadn't known existed before that moment.

Sam was moaning with every slam of Dean's hips into him. Dean was fucking him, Jesus Christ that was Dean's cock fucking into him, making him feel possessed and owned and wanted.

"So fucking tight Sammy, God you feel so good."

Sam could only moan as his entire existence was focused on being fucked by Dean.

"Feels too good, I'm gonna come. Fuck I'm gonna come inside you."

Dean was really fucking into Sam fast now, causing the headboard to slam into the wall and pillows to dance off the bed.

"Gonna fill you with all my come, oh fuck, oh fuck."

Then everything stilled as Dean slammed into Sam with one final thrust. Sam could feel Dean's cock pulsing inside him as it pumped him full of Dean's seed. Sam grabbed his dick then as Dean gave him a few final quick thrusts, sending Sam over the edge in seconds. Sam was hit in the face with his own come as he jerked himself through the debilitating orgasm, distantly wondering if it might in fact kill him.

Dean collapsed onto Sam, his cock sliding free with the change of position. All they could do was try to catch their breath until finally the fact that they were stuck together, chest to chest, by sweat and come sunk in. Dean rolled over onto his back next to Sam, his right hand coming up to slowly stroke Sam's head. Deans other arm splayed out off the bed and onto the bedside table, knocking some papers to the floor. He glanced over at the noise and noted the time displayed on Sam's alarm clock. They should still have time to clean up before worrying about John and Bobby getting home.

"Shower?" Dean said as he turned back to face Sam.

"Together?"

"That's the idea."

"What about dad and Bobby?" Sam said.

"It's not even midnight, plenty of time Sammy."

"Um, okay."

Dean swiveled out of bed and his feet came to rest on the papers he'd knocked over. He leaned down to pick them up and put them back on the bedside table when something caused him to pause, taking a closer look. Sam realized that was the mail from Stanford and frantically tried to think of something to say, some way to explain them away as nonsense, junk mail, anything.

"What's this Sam? You're going to college? Stanford?" Dean wasn't hiding the pain in his voice as he asked the questions.

"Look Dean, I just wanted to see if I could get in. And I did, full scholarship and everything, but I'm not actually going." And how could Sam possibly think of going to college after what had just happened between him and Dean? His world had been blown wide open and Stanford now looked minuscule by comparison. He was ready to give up everything else if it meant having Dean like this.

"Huh. So I guess it's pretty hard to get in there, that's freakin' awesome Sammy. That makes you, like, king of the nerds," Dean said with humor, "You really don't want to go?"

"No way," Sam said softly as he moved to position himself behind Dean, his chest to Dean's back as they both sat on the edge of the bed. "I have everything I want right here." Sam punctuated his words with soft kisses to the back of Dean's neck.

"Good. College would just bore the shit out of you anyway."

The matter settled, Dean got up and headed for the bathroom. Sam scrambled to follow, smiling at how lucky he was to finally have what he'd always wanted.

***

The brothers headed to the kitchen after showering and getting dressed. They were both famished from physical exertion and missing dinner. Their shower had started off subdued. The young men tentatively soaped each others arms and shoulders first, almost too shy to do more. Sam had finally pulled Dean into an embrace, using the position to soap up Dean's back who'd then reciprocated. When they'd parted Dean had jumped into the task of cleaning Sam with enthusiasm, causing Sam to laugh at all the attention Dean was giving his various body parts. Sam had gone more slowly, careful concentration on his face as he took the job of cleaning Dean seriously.

Now Sam was pulling out produce from the fridge to make something for them to eat. Dean watched skeptically, waiting for some meat and potatoes to make an appearance. When they did not, and Sam started slicing vegetables, Dean decided to take matters into his own hands. He opened the freezer in search of steak, and was not disappointed when he found and pulled out a couple of t-bones. He grabbed a pan and set it on the stove, turning the heat to high, figuring the frozen meat would need as much heat as he could give it. He unwrapped the steaks and reached past Sam for some salt.

Dean noticed Sam look up from his vegetables just as he was about to put the first steak in the pan.

"Dude, you have that heat up way too high!" Sam said, spinning the dial back to less than half. Sam picked up the now smoking pan and set it on a cool burner pushing Dean's arm back, hand still holding the frozen steak in the air. "Gimme," Sam said.

"I can cook steak Sammy," Dean said.

"Give it here, I've actually learned a thing or two since living here."

Dean jerked his arm back when Sam made a grab for the steak. He might not be able to keep it out of his brother's reach, but he could at least try to stay a step ahead.

Sam stepped into Dean's space, chest to chest, and used both long arms to try and get the steak away from Dean. They began to laugh as Dean arched his back over the counter in a last ditch effort hide the steak behind his back. Sam enveloped him in his arms and locked Dean into place. They noticed at the same time that their groins were pressed together and Sam leaned in to suck at Dean's full lips.

Dean relaxed into the kiss and Sam made another move for the steak.

"No! Sam!" Dean said against Sam's mouth. Sam took advantage of the opportunity, Dean's mouth opening to speak, and pushed his tongue between Dean's lips, still holding him in place as Dean squirmed against him. He'd resigned himself to losing the steak when suddenly Sam was wrenched away from him, a blur knocking his brother to the floor.

Dean dove forward to attack the blur, taking a wild swing before being held from behind.

"Calm down Dean, calm down dammit!" It was Bobby's voice behind him, and there was his father breathing heavily in front of him. Sam was slowly picking himself up from the floor, hand rubbing at his face where blood was already oozing from a cut.

"Touch him again and I'll kill you," John said. He was saying it to Sam and the two brothers looked at each other in confusion. Sure, Sam had been kissing him, but Dean thought a death threat was a bit of an overreaction.

"Dad, calm down, it's alright," Dean said as he shook himself from Bobby's grip. Bobby let him go and said nothing, eyes moving back and forth between the three Winchesters.

"It's not alright son, what he was doing to you was not alright."

"He wasn't doing anything to me that I don't want and haven't already done back."

John's eyes left Sam at that comment, turning to Dean with a mix of heartbreak and regret.

"Oh god, no. I'm too late. I didn't see it and now I'm too late. I'm so sorry son." John moved to embrace Dean, but he jumped out of the hug to move next to Sam.

"Dad, I know this is... a shock... and it's not what you wanted, and yeah it's a little weird, but we're okay with it, we love each other. You're going to have to learn to live with it eventually so you better start wrapping your head around it now. It's not wrong. It's not wrong just because we're brothers," Sam said, emboldened by Dean's presence at his side.

"You're not brothers." John said with disgust.

"Of course we are, this doesn't change that." Sam replied.

"No, SAM, you are not Dean's brother. You're not my son. You weren't Mary's son."

The boys were stunned into silence by this, the words incomprehensible.

"Would someone like to tell me just what the hell is going on?" Bobby said, looking to John.

John stood silent for a while, visibly struggling to pull himself together. "Mary made a deal with the demon. To save my life. Dean, you were just a small boy at the time. I was nearly dead, maybe I was dead, but he'd fix it, bring me back, but only if Mary agreed to do something for Yellow Eyes. He didn't want her soul, just wanted her to take a baby. A very... special baby that Yellow Eyes had plans for. All Mary had to do was raise the boy as her own and let Yellow Eyes have him when the time came." John struggled to keep alcohol fueled emotions under control as he was taken back 18 years in the past.

"She agreed, of course. She would've agreed to anything in the moment. A week later we had a newborn, waiting in the crib when we woke up. Mary thought she could keep the baby safe. Defy the demon by raising Sam to be good. She just wouldn't accept that anyone could be born evil. She would hold you," looking at Sam now, "rock you in her arms and tell you how good you were, how safe. She made me swear to raise you as my own. I swore to her that I would."

John rubbed at his brow, remembering the words he spoke to Mary.

"We thought we had years before the demon would come back. Years for her to raise you with love. But we only had months. The demon had a plan to make sure his special baby came out the way he intended him to. Six months after we took you in he was back, the son of a bitch came back for you and Mary tried to stop him."

John broke off in a sob, silently cursing the demon for destroying his family, his life.

"He made you drink his blood."

Dean unconsciously took a step away from Sam as those words hit him, looking from John to his brother. Sam flinched at the movement, but Dean couldn't bring himself to return to Sam's side.

"I thought if I kept him from getting to you again that you'd be fine. I'd kill him before he touched you again. It was only a few drops. I made Dean take the same vow to protect you. But it wasn't enough."

Ever since Dean had taken Sam from their burning house their father had drilled that directive into Dean. Protect Sam, watch him, stay by his side. Love him.

"Now I know that I should've left you behind."

"Dad?" Sam's lost voice, barely audible. "Dean?"

Dean distantly heard his name but it didn't register through the fury of tumultuous thoughts filling his head. Could it really be true? Why would his dad make this up? Was Sam really something else entirely different than what Dean had always thought? Dean looked back at Sam, his expression blank in the face of Sam's pain.

***

Sam ran from the kitchen, shoving past a stunned Bobby to get to his room. Once there he grabbed his bag from the closet and started stuffing clothes into it. After filling his bag he snatched the Stanford documentation and all the other paperwork he'd already prepared. He shoved his bare feet into shoes and then turned to leave, grabbing a set of keys to one of Bobby's running cars from the pegboard as he shot through the front door.

Sam opened the door to the car, throwing his bag in followed by himself, started it and sped away from the salvage yard in a spray of gravel.

***

No one moved while they listened to Sam speed away. Finally the absence of Sam brought Dean back to the moment and he made a move to leave the kitchen. He was stopped by John's firm grip on his arm.

"Where are you going, Dean?" his father asked.

"I have to go after him. I have to tell him-" Dean cut off the sentence before finishing. Tell Sam what exactly? That he still loved him and nothing had changed? Dean did still love him, knew he still wanted him, but some things had to be figured out. He shook his head and decided to get to Sam first and figure out the rest after.

"Stop, son. You're not going after him. I know you think that's your little brother but we don't know how different he is from human. We don't even really know how Sam was conceived. Let him go. He's hurt you enough already."

"It wasn't like that! It wasn't evil, he didn't make me do anything!" Dean was struggling now as both John and Bobby moved to restrain him.

"Calm down! we're not doing anything tonight, we can talk about this after everyone has had some sleep." John said, tightening his grip on Dean.

"NO! LET ME GO GODDAMN YOU! I HAVE TO TELL HIM!" that I still love him, Dean finished in his head.

Bobby said something to John that Dean didn't catch, and the next thing he knew he was being dragged from the kitchen and down the stairs to the basement. The two older men forced him into Bobby's panic room, strapping his limbs down to a metal bed frame as Dean fought back like a rabid animal, stream of profanities leaving his mouth.

Once he was unable to move, the two men moved to the doorway, looking back at Dean with concern painted on their faces.

"What if Sam did something to him? The boy is acting like he's possessed." Bobby said.

"We'll leave him here tonight and put him through some tests in the morning. Come on Bobby"

The men closed the heavy iron door and slowly made their way back upstairs. 


	5. Lost Hope

Dean cracked his eyes open to find his father standing over him, lightly slapping his cheek with a look of pity on his face.

"Wake up, Dean."

Dean made a move to wipe the bleariness from his eyes only to discover that he was still strapped down to the bed. So it wasn't a nightmare, then. Sam was gone. Gone and there was currently nothing he could do about it. 

Currently being the key word. 

Dean just had to stay calm long enough to satisfy them that he wasn't under some kind of hoodoo long enough to get free. Once free he could find Sam and then they would work all of this out. It didn't matter what John had said about his brother, he knew that Sam wasn't evil. His dad just needed to understand that too. He needed to understand that whatever John might have seen wasn't wrong. The brother aspect of it may be hard for John to adjust to, but if they really weren't related then the mutual attraction even made a lot more sense. His dad would have to see that in the end.

John moved away to reveal Bobby standing a few feet behind him next to a rusted cart. The man had a stoic expression as he surveyed everything he'd gathered to test John's boy. There were several things on it, most of which Dean had no trouble identifying. Holy water, salt, silver, iron, and a few things that Dean could only guess at. He rolled his eyes as he thought about how it was all meant for him. 

"Think you might be going a little overboard here?" 

"We'll talk after the tests," Bobby said. 

Dean answered that with a sigh, turning his gaze to the ceiling. "Well come on, let's get this over with," he said.

Dean was quiet as the two men administered the trials, Dean passing each one with indifference. Once completed, John let out a heavy breath, muttering 'thank God' before kissing his son on the forehead. Dean looked decidedly annoyed, making a show of pulling on the restraints.

"Alright son, we're going to remove the straps but I need to know that you won't try to leave. At least not until we have a chance to have a few questions answered. Can you do that or do we need to keep you restrained?" John said.

"I'll behave, just let me up. And get me something to drink." Dean answered with a croak. 

Bobby and John moved to either side of Dean, removing the restraints as they went. Dean sat up and rubbed at his wrists, face clearly showing his distaste for how the morning had gone so far. Bobby was already handing him a cup of water before Dean could stand, which he gratefully drained.

"Whiskey," he said as he held the empty cup back out to Bobby.

"I think we could all use a little of that right now," Bobby replied as he turned to leave the panic room.

Dean turned to his dad and said, "So can I go back upstairs or am I still a prisoner?"

John placed a hand on Dean's shoulder, pausing for a moment before replying, "Sure son, come on."

***

The three of them sat in Bobby's living room, each with a half full glass of whiskey. Silence filled the room until finally John started to speak.

"Dean I need you to tell me when your brother - Sam, when Sam - first started acting differently with you. I need you to really think back about all the things that might stand out now that you know everything," John said.

Dean took a moment to think about how to answer. He didn't need to think about what the answer actually was, but he sure as hell wasn't going to tell these two how it had all started with Sam. Details like that were none of their damn business.

"I dunno, a while ago I guess. But it's not like he corrupted me or whatever. It was just normal raging hormones stuff. I figured the kid just needed to get out more so I didn't think too much of it. Then when we came back here this last time, I dunno, something had changed. I knew it wasn't just a phase, that it was real. So I went for it. I'm the one who started this thing. I wasn't tricked or put under some spell." Dean paused, shaking his head at how ridiculous it sounded. "It's pretty simple, we love each other, that way, and if he's not even my real brother then I don't see why you would have a problem with it."

"It's not about him being your brother or the fact that you're... gay... apparently..."

"I am NOT gay. It's not like I'm dick crazed all of the sudden, It's much more than that with Sam."

John cringed at Dean's choice of words, at the idea of what he still thought of as his two boys together in that way.

"Well hell son I don't see what's the difference if you're gay for Sam or just plain gay," Bobby chimed in.

"That's not the point," John said with an aggravated look at Bobby. "The point is that as much as I tried to tell myself otherwise over the years, Sam is not normal. We don't know how that yellow eyed bastard got his hands on him as a baby. We sure as hell don't know what effect drinking demon blood had on the kid. He could be some kind of frea-"

"Finish that sentence and you lose the last son you have left." Dean said angrily. 

"You can stop protecting him Dean," his dad replied in a softer voice. "We all loved him but there is no changing what the demon did. He had plans for Sam, that much was clear. The boy is going to turn if he hasn't already." John took a pause to try and let those words sink in before moving to place a hand on Dean's knee. "Dean, we heard you telling him no when we came in last night. He forced himself on you, and I don't want to think about what would've happened had we not come back in time."

Dean let out a defeated laugh. No matter what he said his father wasn't going to believe him. He figured it did look pretty bad last night considering the small snapshot that they'd heard and saw, but if he explained what was really going on his dad would just think that Dean was still covering for his baby brother. 

"Look, I don't know what it's going to take to convince you, but Sam didn't turn, and he's not going to turn. Sam doesn't have an evil bone in his body and you're both going to regret turning your backs on him. He doesn't deserve this. He deserves the benefit of the doubt, he deserves a chance to show you how good he is."

With that Dean stood up, intent on grabbing his bag and hitting the road. Dean was pretty sure that Sam would be hoping - if not expecting - for Dean to look for him. If Dean was right then he could find his brother pretty easily using their system for when they were separated. 

"Hold it, Dean." his father said. Dean held still but did not turn to face John. "I know what you're planning and it's not going to happen. Even if you're right about, whatever... happened, he still can't be trusted. Sam's secret won't leave this house, I give you my word, so he'll be safe from other hunters, but until we kill yellow eyes Sam can't be a part of this family. It's too dangerous. He'll need to be kept downstairs."

The fact that John thought Sam could even possibly be hunted like just another monster shook Dean to his core. Sam deserved to be given a chance before he was written out of the only family he'd ever known. If anything, Dean was sure that being abandoned by your loved ones was one way to make sure someone went darkside. He began walking to Sam's room to get his things together. He didn't need to waste any more time on a conversation that clearly wasn't going anywhere good. 

"Wait, Dean!" John ordered.

"Just give him a minute," Dean heard Bobby say as he closed the bedroom door.

***

Dean collapsed onto the foot of Sam's bed, dropping his head into his hands and sobbing uncontrollably. In less than 24 hours his world had completely fallen apart. John and Bobby seemed to have lost all perspective on who Sam was and what he meant to them all. They needed to see that he was still the same amazing, good, sensitive person he'd always been. He took several deep breaths until he had the crying under control. He just had to keep it together long enough to bring Sam back so they could see for themselves that nothing had changed. 

He bolted upright and grabbed his bag, not bothering to change his day old clothes or even shower. The sooner he found Sam the sooner they could figure everything out. He was almost to the front door when his dad tried to stop him. Dean roughly shoved him out of the way, barely slowing in the process. "Don't," he said as he crossed the threshold, slamming the door behind him. 

Heading towards the Impala had an immediate affect on his mood. He'd always been a man of action and it felt good to be moving again. Dean put the car in gear and hit the gas, sending gravel flying before fish tailing onto the main road. Sam should be at the first hotel listed for Sioux Falls if he was sticking to their plan for finding each other. Dean would need to stop at a gas station to search the phone book, then finding Sam would be a piece of cake. With luck they might have the whole thing straightened out by dinner.

***

Sam had kept the gas pedal firmly planted to the floor as he raced west away from Bobby's. He cried across the state of South Dakota. Loud, wet and ugly at first before settling into a quieter sob. All he could feel was wrenching pain in his chest, pain that blocked out any coherent thought. Saying Dean's name again and again in his head was the extent of his ability to focus beyond anything but keeping the car on the road. Every silent utterance of that sacred word a fresh stab to his heart.

He finally stopped in Chadron, Nebraska as dawn broke, parking in the back of the local Super 8. He made no move to get out, and leaned his head against the window until exhaustion took him under. 

***

Dean pulled into the AAA+ Motel and Lounge scanning the parking lot for the jalopy that Sam had taken from Bobby's yard. Not seeing it, he parked anyway, and headed to the office. Once inside he proceeded to run through every cover name he could think of before finally resorting to simply describing Sam's appearance. The paunchy middle aged man behind the counter had begun easing towards the phone as Dean had become increasingly frantic. As the clerk finally turned away to dial what Dean had to assume was the police, he turned to leave, throwing the door open as he ran back to the Impala. 

Dean drove to every motel in town after that, stopping in at all of the 'A's' before scanning the parking lots of the rest. It was nightfall before he was ready to admit that Sam was really gone. 

If only he'd chased after him and stopped him from driving away. If only they'd convinced their father to get Sam a cell phone after he stayed behind at Bobby's, but John had flat out refused, citing the high cost and the fact that Bobby had plenty of phones in his house as it was. 

Dean slammed his hands on the steering wheel, yelling out in frustration. He finally decided to head back to Bobby's after convincing himself that maybe Sam had just been driving the entire time and had finally decided to head back himself. That final hope was dashed, however, when Dean pulled up to the house to find the other car still missing. 

He slowly made his way into Bobby's house and was unable to hold back a fresh wave of tears as he made eye contact with his father. John moved towards him on reflex, unable to ignore his child clearly in pain. John embraced his son and Dean made no effort to fight him. He would take whatever comfort he could right then, even from the man responsible for driving Sammy away. 

Dean cried into his father's shoulder, muttering "He's gone."

"I know son, it's okay, you're gonna be okay," his father cooed back, slowly rubbing the back of Dean's head. 

Dean simply shook his head in reply, knowing nothing would ever be okay again.


	6. Redemption

Dean woke up in Sam's bed clutching a pillow that still smelled of his brother. He wasn't going to stop thinking of Sam that way. Blood or not, brother had its own meaning for Dean. It wasn't simply another word for sibling, for someone with the same parents as you. It was everything Sam meant to him rolled into that one word. Friend, companion, partner, comrade, and now lover. His father's revelations about Sam had only cemented Dean's deeply ingrained need to love and protect him. 

He grudgingly sat up in bed, fighting the urge to stay there forever, surrounded by all that he had left of Sam. He could live in his brother's ghost or figure out his next move to get him back. The choice to get up was pretty easy when he thought of it that way.

Dean stood and headed for the bathroom. After a shower, fresh clothes and something to eat he would be ready to come up with a new plan. He figured it had been about 36 hours since Sam had ran from the house. He could still be nearby, just thinking things through before returning to Bobby's.

After showering, he headed to the kitchen, only having bothered to pull on black boxer briefs and a grey t-shirt. Bobby was at his desk apparently researching something, John was nowhere to be found. Dean poured himself some cereal and milk, wrinkling his nose at the bran flakes, and took the bowl with him to see what Bobby was up to. 

"Where's John?" he said around a mouthful of brown flakes. 

"Your dad had to go out, didn't say where, just that he'd be back tonight."

"Huh." Dean moved closer to the desk to get a better look at the books Bobby had open.

"Case?" He asked.

"No, trying to find anything that can tell me what the hell is going on with your brother and that demon. I haven't come up with much but what little I have ain't good. I oughta shoot John for not telling me about this years ago."

"Yeah, then you could've just put Sam down while he was a kid. Saved yourself some trouble." Dean said with barely contained disgust in his voice.

"Now you just wait a goddamn minute Dean! I'm tryin' to find out how we can save that boy! I don't care where he came from, the boy was good and I'm not givin' up on him. If John won't claim him then I sure as hell will."

"Since when do you care what happens to Sam!? I seem to remember you helping drag me down to the basement when I tried to go after him. You haven't said one word to back me up in all of this!" Dean yelled back.

"How did you expect me to react Dean? First I walk in on you two... kissin'... which sure as hell looked like Sam was forcing on you. Then you tell us that you love each other like some kind of love sick teenagers. Then John decides to mention that, 'oh, by the way, Sam is some kinda demon spawn'! My head was spinnin' so many different ways I'm lucky I didn't just pass out!"

Dean paused to consider what he was hearing. He had to admit that it must have been a lot for the man to take in. "So are you telling me that you really want to help him?"

"I haven't slept since that boy ran out of here." Bobby rubbed at tired eyes before continuing. "All I could think about was that there is no way that same kid that's been living with me under this roof is evil. I wish I'd had the sense to say as much to your idjit father before it was too late, but I can still make this right for Sam. There ain't no evil that can't be exorcised. If there really is something dark inside of Sam we're gonna find out how to stop it."

"And what about John?" Dean said, unable to imagine his father going along with a plan to get Sam back. 

"He can either help or stay out of it. The way I see it, Sam is as much mine as his. He's just too damn stubborn to see that what you boys have is real and not because of some demon mojo."

"What? You don't think it's wrong?"

"I might not want to think too much into it, but you two have always been attached at the hip. I told John years ago that he needed to separate you boys more but he wouldn't listen. Ain't your fault that y'all have only ever had each other. Any moron could've seen this coming a mile away." Bobby looked back down at his tomes as if he'd just stated a basic fact. 

Dean walked around the big desk then, leaning down to give Bobby a tight hug. "Thank you Bobby," he said as he struggled to keep his emotions under control. "I really love him, he's everything to me."

"I know son, now grab a book and help me figure all this out."

***

Dean spent the next several weeks at Bobby's. At first, he still expected Sam to come walking in at any moment, hoping that he'd get tired of running and come back home. When that failed to happen he'd resigned himself to finding his brother once he and Bobby had come up with some way to help him. He'd also decided that blindly roaming the country looking for Sam wasn't going to get him anywhere.

John had agreed to help them but not at the expense of finding the demon responsible. He gave Dean and Bobby all the information he had before hitting the road to continue his own search for Yellow Eyes. Things had become incredibly tense between them until John finally spoke vaguely of a lead and announced that he'd be leaving. Dean and Bobby had initially tried to make John understand that what had developed between the two boys was pure and good, but John had refused to even consider it. It'd come to a head one night when Dean had over heard the two men arguing. 

"They love each other John, and it's got nothing to do with evil!" Dean had heard Bobby yell.

"It's not right! They're brothers Bobby, it's sick! I don't care if Sam doesn't share his blood, they were brought up as brothers. They weren't raised to be this way, it has to be something else making them do it." John's voice had lost it's forcefulness as he'd completed the last sentence. It had to be obvious even to himself how desperate he'd sounded to believe what he was saying. That not only could he save Sam from turning, but also save his boys from what he considered to be a sickness. 

Dean couldn't help but be relieved when his father had finally left. He'd found a staunch ally in Bobby, but no matter how much John said he wanted to save Sam, he just couldn't think of him as anything other than the enemy. Without the constant strife and tension of having John around, Dean and Bobby had begun to make some progress in finding out more about the demon. He was something more powerful than the usual black eyed variety, that much was clear, and they were getting an inkling of a bigger plan that they just couldn't yet grasp. 

Dean had suggested that maybe Yellow Eyes had simply wanted to make his parents miserable by having them raise a child only to see him turn out evil in the end. Demons could be pretty creative in how they took pleasure from other people's pain, after all. Bobby had immediately dismissed that idea though. He was sure that this higher level demon had to be part of something much bigger than than a simple deal with a human.

So the research dragged on, weeks turning into months until Dean missed Sam's birthday. The date gave him a new sense of loss and pushed him into a decision to leave Bobby's again to search for his brother. 

Bobby had been against the idea. If Sam didn't want to be found, he reasoned, then Dean shouldn't try to find him. The boy needed the time and space to sort everything out. Bobby also didn't want Dean leaving during what he thought was a critical time in their research. Dean wanted to counter by saying that more and more of their time was being used to help other hunters, but instead pointed out that it was his dad that was making all of the discoveries lately anyway. 

John had been calling in more frequently with new information. He had managed to persuade a few demons to talk before sending them back to hell. None would reveal any information about where Yellow Eyes was, but they increasingly seemed to make gleeful references to the future. The demon's name turned out to be Azazel, and he was apparently ancient. There was some kind of plan in the works, but John hadn't been able to find out how Sam fit into any of it. The most he could get from any demon was that Sam was an integral part of whatever was going to happen when Azazel's plan came to fruition. 

Dean took that information as further proof that he needed to find Sam and protect him from this Azazel sooner rather than later.

***

Dean was ready to get on the road. He'd changed the oil in the Impala and packed it up the day before. He just had to finish breakfast and small talk with Bobby before leaving to get his Sammy back. 

"So you headin' west?" Bobby asked.

"I was, actually, just feels right to go that way." 

"Well it should considerin' that's where you'll find your brother."

"What do you mean? You know where Sam is?" Dean asked, his tone sharp at the possibility that Bobby had some information he'd been holding back. 

"There's a pretty good chance he's at Stanford, you idjit."

Dean scoffed at that. "No, he didn't run away from home to go to college. He wasn't even planning to attend Stanford. Just wanted confirmation that he was some kind of genius. Sam's probably laying low somewhere, maybe looking for cases he can handle on his own."

"What do you mean, 'wasn't planning to attend'? I don't remember seeing Sam so excited as when he got that letter. That boy was going to Stanford come hell or high water." Bobby said with finality. 

Dean's heart dropped in his chest. "But he..." He trailed off as he thought back to finding all the paperwork by Sam's bed, realization sinking in. They'd just finished making love for the first time, and Sam had been ready to leave his dream behind. For Dean. 

"Oh balls!" Bobby said, clearly frustrated that this was news to Dean. "You mean to tell me you didn't know? Hell, I would've thought that you'd have been the first one he called!"

Dean couldn't bring himself to answer. How could he have been dumb enough to not see straight through Sam's lie? Of course Sam wanted to go to college! Was he really so blinded by his own wants that he missed something so important to Sam? It'd been so long now that Sam could very well be entrenched in his new life as a normal college kid. What if he didn't want to come back? What if he didn't want Dean anymore? 

"I need to get going," Dean said. 

If Bobby was right, and Dean was more certain by the second that he was, then finding Sam could actually prove to be far easier than Dean had thought. He shoveled the rest of his breakfast into his mouth and washed it all down with his glass of milk. He gave Bobby a grave look, somewhat lessened in intensity by his milk mustache, and stood from the table. 

Bobby stood as well, reaching his right arm out and Dean walked around to meet Bobby. The two men embraced briefly, Bobby leaving his hand on Dean's arm after they pulled apart. "Go find Sam, but don't tear him away from school if he's got a good thing goin'." Bobby said. "He still deserves a chance to make what he wants out of this life, regardless of what Azazel, or you, may think otherwise."

Dean looked away at Bobby's words. As much as everything in him resisted the idea of leaving Sam at Stanford, he knew it would be the right thing to do if Sam was happy. He nodded once at Bobby and turned to leave without another word. As he headed west on the highway he didn't bother trying to temper the growing elation he felt at the thought of finally finding Sam.

***

Two days later Dean was in Palo Alto pulling into the Mermaid Inn to get a room that would serve as his base of operations. He spent the remainder of that first day just cruising around Stanford and the surrounding areas, mostly just needing to see where Sam had made a life for himself. He didn't end up finding him, his brain telling him that of course he wasn't just going to spot his brother right away, his heart disappointed nevertheless. 

Dean ended his scouting mission at nightfall, stopping at a drive through before heading back to his motel room. He'd do some digging in the morning to see if he could come up with anything attached locally to Sam's name. If Sam was wanting to be found Dean might be able to pull him up in a basic directory. If not, Dean could be there a while. 

***

A few days had passed and Dean was beginning to wonder if Bobby had been wrong about how much Sam wanted to go to college. Nothing had come up under his brother's name, and Dean had spent the previous day wandering all over the campus. 

He nearly slapped himself when the idea of stalking the library occurred to him. If Sam was going to show up anywhere eventually, it'd be there. He shook his head at his own stupidity for not thinking of it sooner. He finished shaving, dressed, and headed out for another day of searching.

He ended up deciding to walk through what looked like a main library, simply called Green. Hoping it was one that most students would utilize, he decided to spend all day there if necessary. It was a Friday, so he was going to have to get more creative for the next two days if he came up empty again. 

Dean meandered through the place first, checking all of the isles and seats to make sure none of them contained Sam. They didn't. He tried not to be disappointed, taking a deep breath to level out his emotions before heading back to the main entrance. He would find a spot to watch the doors there and hope he could remain inconspicuous. 

After several hours his stomach was grumbling. It was getting a little late in the afternoon for lunch so he figured he could take a few minutes to get something to eat without missing too many people coming in. He would just do another sweep of the place anyway after his meal to be sure. 

He headed out of the library, veering off to the left as he went. He spared one more glance over his shoulder in the opposite direction and was hit by a train. He had to be sure, he'd already been fooled more times than he could count. Ridiculously tall, check. Same mop of brown hair, check. Dimpled smile - and oh god it really was his Sammy. 

Dean could only turn slowly, facing Sam and the small group he was in as they walked in his general direction. Dean was still far enough away and there were enough people between them that Sam had yet to notice his brother. He looked happy. Really happy. Sam and the other three students; a pretty blonde that Dean would've really appreciated in another life, a somewhat frumpy redhead, and a guy that screamed Abercrombie were all in the middle of an animated conversation. Sam's easy laugh and blinding smile were at full power. The other male was clearly enraptured by Sam, barely sparing a glance away from his brother's face.

Everything began crashing down on Dean then. Sam was here, he was happy, had made an effort not to be found. He had friends, maybe even a boyfriend, and Dean couldn't stand it anymore. He turned to walk away, back in the direction he'd been going. He had to leave, now. Get back to Bobby's and work on saving Sam, that would never change. He could come back when they had the answer, perform whatever ritual or spell -

"Dean!" 

\- that was needed in order to help Sam. Just long enough to free him of whatever Azazel had done so he could continue to live whatever-

"Dean, wait!"

Dean stopped cold. Sam had spotted him. He didn't move a muscle, needed more confirmation that Sam had really called out to him. Couldn't quite believe what he heard had been real.

"Dean," said softly this time, and much closer.

Dean turned around slowly, faced with the full glory that was Sam, hazel eyes swimming with emotion as he looked back into Dean's. 

"Uh, hey Sammy," was all Dean could muster.

"Hey," Sam replied with a short laugh, eyes heavy with unshed tears.


	7. Turning Point

Sam and Dean stood face to face, a brief moment stretching out to eternity until, without a thought, Dean reached up to grab Sam's face between his hands. He tilted his head back and brought Sam's lips down to meet his own.

Sam whimpered softly as his mouth opened to let Dean's tongue in, reaching his own hands up and placing them on each side of Dean's face. His hands slid lower, held Dean's neck while slowly caressing his jaw with his thumbs as he pushed his own tongue along Dean's.

The two young men stood kissing for over a minute, oblivious to any attention they were getting from passing students. Slowly the kissing lessened in intensity, becoming several smaller kisses as they tasted each other's lips.

They finally separated, Dean licking his plump mouth to chase the taste of Sam. Sam reached his hands out to hold Dean's, his smile dominating his face, dimples destroying any walls Dean could have possibly had left. There were no words yet, everything they felt being communicated through their eyes. Dean's face a mix of fear, insecurity and hope. Sam's simply broadcasting back pure love. 

"So who's you're, um, friend?" Abercrombie said. 

Snapped back to reality, Sam turned to his three friends that'd stopped several feet away, only letting go of one of Dean's hands.

"Oh, yeah, so this is Dean." Sam replied.

"This is really him?? Your ex?? THE Dean?? He came for you??" The blonde said in disbelief. 

Dean's eyebrows raised at the word 'ex'.

"Yeah. I guess he did," Sam said.

"Damn straight I did," Dean added. 

The redhead just looked back and forth between them, mouth slightly agape. 

Abercrombie made the first move, stepping forward with an outstretched hand to Dean. "Hi, I'm Evan."

"I'm sorry," Sam said as Dean shook Evan's hand, squeezing with more force than was strictly necessary. 

"Dean, these are my friends. Evan, Donna and Jess," Sam said nodding to Abercrombie, the redhead and then the blonde. 

"Nice to meet you," Dean said, eyes still locked on Evan with a hint of danger in them. 

"Guys, I'll meet back up with you later. I think Dean and I need to talk." Sam told the group. The three others looked back, faces clearly etched with disappointment. 

"Okay," Evan said, "But we're all meeting for dinner tonight at that new hookah place, and both of you are coming."

"We'll see," Sam replied with a face that clearly said 'go away already'.

His friends got the hint and made to leave the two brothers, or the former couple as far as they knew, alone.

"Nice meeting you Dean!" Jess said with a wink as the three started walking towards the library. 

***

"So, ex, huh?" Dean said once they were alone.

"Well I couldn't exactly say that you were my brother after telling them everything about you."

"And what exactly did you tell them?" Dean asked as he walked them in the direction of the Impala. 

"Oh, only that you were this amazing, incredibly hot guy that I had the best sex of my life with." 

"You mean the only sex of your life at that point," Dean said with a huff. 

"Still the best."

Dean tried not to read too much into those three words. Was Sam sleeping with that Evan kid? "So that's all you told them?"

"That, and that your dad threw me out of the house when he found us together and forbade you from ever seeing me again."

Dean stumbled a little at that, but kept walking. He hated the fact that Sam's cover story was so close to the truth. Well, he was here to make up for that now. 

"Yeah well, I'm not letting anything stop me from seeing you ever again." Dean said. 

The brothers walked in silence for a while, shoulders bumping together occasionally as they made their way off campus. Dean found himself wishing he could go back to the day Sam left and stop him. He needed to break the silence before he ended up drowning in guilt.

"So, your friends seemed nice. Evan seems to really like you," Dean said.

"Yeah, Evan's a little... obvious I guess, but he's a nice guy. I think him and Jess are trying to see which one of them can get me in bed first."

"Look at you Sammy, got hot chicks and dudes after you. You could just do both of 'em at the same time, then it'd be a real party." Dean said, trying hard to sound nonchalant about it. 

"Nah, too bad for them I'm not interested. There's only one person for me in this world, even if he doesn't want me anymore."

The words stopped Dean dead in his tracks this time. He held Sam's hand firmly, bringing his brother to a stop as well while making him face Dean.

"I never stopped wanting you Sam. Not for a second. Never will." 

Sam looked back at Dean as if he wanted to believe him but couldn't quite bring himself to do it. 

"Come on," Sam said. "Let's go somewhere that we can talk."

***

The two Winchesters walked into Dean's room, Dean walking through first with Sam following behind and shutting the door.

"Alright Sam, let's talk." 

Dean moved to face his brother but found himself instead being seized by Sam. Long arms wrapped around Dean, then Sam was kissing him with unrestrained passion while he lifted him from the floor. Holding him inches from the carpet, Sam shuffled them to the queen bed and dropped Dean onto his back. 

Dean was already fully hard as he looked up at Sam from the bed. Sam had already pulled his shirt off and was working to open his jeans, devouring Dean with his eyes as he did so. Dean rushed to do the same, squirming to pull his shirt over his head while on his back. 

Before he could finish opening his own jeans Sam yanked them off, dragging Dean halfway off the bed in the process. 

Sam grabbed Dean under his knees and pulled him the rest of the way to the foot of the bed, putting Dean's face mere inches away from Sam's hard, jumping cock. Dean leaned forward without thinking, taking his large head into his mouth, working his tongue along the bottom where his head met the shaft. Sam moaned loudly, shoving his dick into Dean's mouth until it hit the back of his throat, then pulled completely out. 

"Fuck, I'm gonna come already," Sam said through heavy breaths. "Been so long."

Dean merely grinned up at him in reply, then leaned in to lap at Sam's balls. Sam let loose a long groan, grinding his dick against Dean's face as his balls were worked over. When he couldn't take anymore, Sam dropped down to the floor on his knees, grabbing Dean under his knees again to roll him onto his back. Thighs pushed back against Dean's chest, Sam took in the sight of Dean's smooth ass.

"God I've wanted your ass so fucking bad, you have no idea," Sam said, eyes not wavering from the sight before him. 

"Yeah Sammy? Want your face in it again? Fuck, you can't wait to taste it, can you?"

Sam answered with a moan as he leaned his face down between Dean's cheeks, licking deeply, up and down across his hole. 

"Oh fuck yeah Sammy, you love it don't you, fucking love licking my ass," Dean panted.

Sam moaned something approximating 'mmmmhmmmph' as he continued lavishing attention on Dean's most private area. 

Finally Sam moved higher, running his wet tongue up between Dean's legs until it reached his balls. He gently mouthed at one, then the other, sliding his tongue along every inch of skin. Dean ran both hands through Sam's hair before grasping the back of his head. He pulled Sam's head up, Sam tugging at his balls as he rose, and pulled his face up a few inches. Sam let Dean direct him, keeping his long tongue out and sliding it along the base of Dean's cock. 

Dean moved his left hand from Sam's head and grabbed his dick, right hand still holding Sam in place. Dean pulled lightly at Sam's hair, tilting his face up so that he was looking at Dean, and began slapping his dick against his brother's cheek. Sam looked at Dean with hunger in his eyes, like a dog on a leash being held back from a fresh steak. Dean rubbed his cock slowly across Sam's lips, an unspoken command keeping Sam from trying to take it in his mouth. Dean looked on approvingly, nodding almost imperceptibly and Sam quickly opened his mouth, swallowing Dean nearly to the base. Dean used the hand still gripping Sam's hair to work his head up and down on his cock, letting Sam take over the movement once he had a good rhythm. 

Dean rubbed at his balls with his free hand, sliding two fingers underneath to put some pressure on the sweet spot between his legs. Milking himself so that he'd have a good load for Sam, Dean started thrusting up into Sam's mouth. Sam moaned again in response, slipping a hand down to work his own leaking cock over. 

As Dean worked closer to climaxing he moved both hands to either side of Sam's face, holding him in place now as he repeatedly thrust up into his mouth from the bed. He wanted to make sure Sam could swallow everything he had to give without choking this time, so Dean made sure he wasn't fucking too far into Sam's throat. Sam seemed to realize what Dean was thinking and began moaning continuously in anticipation. 

"Fuck yeah Sammy, gonna give you all my fuckin' come."

"Mmmmmmmmm" 

The vibration of Sam's response surrounding Dean's dick took him suddenly much closer to the edge.

"Oh fuck, you gonna drink it all? Swallow all my come?"

"Mmmmmhmmmm"

Dean's head exploded in a rush of euphoria as he came, holding Sam in place as he thrust with each pulse into his mouth. Sam was ready for it, swallowing with every shot that hit his throat and tongue, greedily sucking at Dean's slit as his own orgasm grew closer. Sam came next with the last of Deans spunk on his tongue, savoring the taste of it while he shot on the side of the bed.

After coming down from his orgasm, Sam finally pulled Dean's softening cock from his mouth, giving it one last squeeze from the base to lick at the few remaining drops. Letting go finally, Sam crawled onto the bed and flipped over to lie on his back. Dean lazily pushed himself up with his feet until both of their heads were on the pillows. They both just stared at the ceiling for several moments trying to catch their breath.

"So," Sam said. "Let's talk."

***

Dean's eyes were closed and Sam was pretty sure that talking was the farthest thing from his mind.

"Can we take a nap first? 'M tired." Dean mumbled.

Sam reached his hand over to stroke Dean's chest. Sleep sounded pretty good in the afterglow of what they'd just done. "Sure, I'll let you snooze but we're gonna talk when you wake up."

"Thanks Sammy. Sleep, more sex, then talk."

Sam huffed out a laugh, then moved his hand up from Dean's chest to run his fingers through his brother's hair. 

"Mmmmm feels good," Dean said as he fell into a slumber.

Sam quickly followed his brother into a deep sleep, feeling more at peace than he had in a very long time.

***

Dean awoke a couple of hours later, imprisoned by the giant octopus that was Sam. Dean turned his head and started nibbling on Sam's earlobe to wake him up. Sam made some muffled sounds but only moved his head enough to take his ear out of range of Dean's mouth. 

"Sammy," Dean whispered, but Sam remained perfectly still.

"Sam!" Dean said with a shout before quickly closing his eyes and feigning sleep. Dean felt Sam jerk his head up from the pillow and tried desperately not to crack a smile. 

"Wha?" Sam said.

Dean slowly opened his eyes as if he was just waking up too. 

"Hey Sammy," he said with a smile. Sam answered with a soft hum and leaned in to kiss Dean. 

They kissed lazily for a few minutes before Sam rolled onto his back with a heavy contented sigh. Freed from Sam's long appendages, Dean rolled himself on top of Sam. 

"Now that sleep is out of the way..." Dean said, wagging his eyebrows suggestively. 

"Are you always this horny?" Sam asked.

"Oh you have no idea. Flip over."

Dean moved to get up and get his bottle of lube but Sam stopped him with a hand on his wrist.

"Don't. I want to feel it, feel you for as long as I can after. In case..." 

In case they went their separate ways after today, Dean finished in his head. There was no way Dean was going to let that happen now that he had Sam back, but if he really wanted to feel if for a few days then Dean wasn't about to argue. In fact, the more he thought about it, the more he liked the idea of Sam having a constant reminder of Dean being inside of him. 

"Okay," Dean purred, leaning down to kiss Sam's lips. "Turn over."

Dean moved off of Sam so he could turn onto his stomach. Once Sam was settled into the new position, Dean hovered his face over Sam's waist. He leaned down to kiss the small of Sam's back, then placed a kiss on each cheek. Sam wiggled his butt, impatient for Dean to give him what he really wanted. Dean responded by giving it a good smack, then straddled Sam's thighs. He spread Sam open and worked up a good amount of spit before letting it pour onto Sam's opening. He slicked up his cock next, hard and ready for what was coming. He thought about working Sam open with a finger or two, deciding against it when he thought of what Sam had asked for. He leaned over Sam, thighs on either side of Sam's and held himself up with his left hand, right hand holding his dick to guide it in. He pushed his hips forward enough to apply a gentle pressure to Sam's pink hole, using the head of his cock to rub his spit into Sam. 

"You let anyone else have this Sammy?"

"No, god no, only yours."

"That's right, all mine. You belong to me, remember?" 

Sam inhaled sharply, gasping a "Yes" . His hips twitched back in an attempt to wedge Dean inside of himself. Dean responded by slowly pushing into him, the soft flesh of his head pushing into Sam's tight ring of muscle. Sam groaned loudly and clenched around Dean's shaft as it continued to push inside. Dean kept going in one long, slow push until he was buried as deeply as possible, hips flush with the curve of Sam's ass. His cock was completely surrounded by the burning heat of Sam, squeezed tight at the base by Sam's clenching ring. 

Dean stayed still for a few seconds until the heat and pressure became too much and he was overcome by the need to drive into Sam. He pulled back, leaving his head inside, not wanting to hurt Sam by pulling out completely and pushing back in without much lubrication. He sat back on his heels as he pulled most of the way out and let another mouthful of saliva pour onto his shaft. Dean worked it over the exposed length and pushed back into him, returning to his previous position. 

"Fuck baby, so hot and tight. You like getting fucked by your big brother?"

"Deeeaaaan, god yes please. Fuck me."

Dean responded to that by fucking into Sam hard deep, piston fucking him into the mattress as Sam cried out in ecstasy. It'd been months since Dean had last had sex, the last time he'd fucked Sam, and though he'd just gotten off in Sam's mouth, he knew he wasn't going to last long. 

Dean laid on top of Sam's back, reaching his right arm around Sam's neck and the left under Sam's left shoulder. He tightened his hold around Sam, pulling his head back as he bit into his neck.

Sam was pushing up into every one of Dean's thrusts while rutting his dick into the bed. Dean could tell Sam was getting close as his moans turned into a series of 'oh god oh god oh god,' then on to 'gonna come, gonna come.' Dean pounded into Sam, just the idea of who he was fucking sending him over the edge. He held Sam in a tight grip as he pumped into him, the knowledge that he was filling Sam with his come working to prolong the orgasm. Dean could feel Sam coming at the same time, based on the way the muscles in his ass were frantically clenching around Dean's cock. 

Dean settled onto Sam as he came down, body going limp as he stayed on his brother's back. After a few minutes Sam made a lame attempt to roll over, telling Dean to get off of him without having to use words. Dean grudgingly obliged, pulling out of Sam as he rolled onto his back.

"Shower?" Dean said, working up the energy to move again.

"Sure," was Sam's answer, making no effort to get up.

"Come on big foot, let's get cleaned up, grab a pizza and some beer, then we'll talk."


	8. The Talk

They both sat at the small table in Dean's motel room. Pizza box and two cans of cheap beer open in front of them. The only sound was chewing and drinking until each of them finished their first slice. Dean figured that he wouldn't be able to put off The Talk any longer and fortified his nerves for what was to come. He'd have seriously preferred to just put Sam in the Impala and drive into the sunset, but knew that there was a lot to work out before that could happen.

Dean took one last swig of liquid courage before starting.

"When you ran out of Bobby's I wanted to go after you. I should have, but I was in shock. When dad said all that about the demon and his blood and where you came from, it blindsided me. For a second I just had to think back on everything. I had to question what I thought was real. Question dad, and you know I'm no good at that. Then I heard you driving away and it snapped me out of it. I thought of what it must have looked like to you, me letting you leave like that, and I wanted to go after you. Tell you that none of it mattered." 

"Did you? Go after me?" Sam asked.

"I tried to, I swear I did, but Dad and Bobby... they stopped me. They had to make sure I wasn't under any kind of... influence, I guess. They even thought I might be possessed by something."

Dean decided against telling Sam the details on just how far they'd gone to stop him. He didn't need to give Sam another reason to hate their father, and Bobby had more than redeemed himself since that first night. 

"Dad thought the demon blood had finally kicked in and you'd turned evil. Thought you were forcing yourself on me when they came in. I tried to tell him about us but he just wouldn't listen. It's almost like he wanted you to be evil or something. Bobby seemed like he was in shock until he had time to think things through, but he came around pretty fast."

Sam covered Dean's hand with his own, offering comfort even though it had to hurt to hear what was being said. Dean couldn't imagine his father turning his back on him like that. He might not ever be close to the man again, but Sam had had no warning.

"So Bobby doesn't hate me? Doesn't think I'm evil like dad does?" Sam asked quietly.

"No way, he loves you. Told dad that you were as much his as anyone's. Once he was able to deal with everything he dove right into figuring out how we were going to beat this thing."

Dean gave Sam's fingers a soft squeeze and continued, encouraged by the uptick at the corner of Sam's mouth. "I left the next morning to find you, thinking you'd be in the first listed hotel in the city. That was our plan, remember? Figured you'd be waiting for me. When you weren't there I checked all of them. I thought I'd lost you for good."

"I just kept driving," Sam said. "I couldn't process what dad had said, and when you moved away from me I thought..."

"I'm sorry Sam, I should've moved closer instead of stepping away when dad said those things. I wasn't by your side when you needed me the most and I haven't been able to forgive myself since. Never will."

"It's okay, you still came for me, but why now after all this time?" Sam asked.

"I didn't know where you'd be, figured you were moving around the country trying to stay hidden.It didn't occur to me that you'd be here until Bobby-"

"Oh god Dean, I never told you. Of course." Sam dropped his head. "I barely mentioned Stanford to you. I was planning to come here but after what happened with us, it just didn't matter anymore."

Dean squeezed Sam's hand, trying to convey in that simple gesture what Sam's words meant to him.

"Yeah well, Bobby decided to mention it when I was going to leave anyway. We spent months looking for anything that would make sense of what was going on. There's something big in the works Sammy, and this demon, Azazel, figures that you're gonna play a big role. I couldn't take the thought of you being alone anymore so I was just gonna hit the road. Then Bobby mentioned Stanford like it was common knowledge. I could've killed the old bastard for not saying it sooner."

Sam rubbed his thumb over the back of Dean's hand. Dean looked from their hands to Sam's eyes, chest filling with love at what he saw there. Sam leaned in, tenderly kissing Dean before pulling back.

"I love you, Dean." It was all that needed to be said. Sam understood.

Dean hummed into Sam's mouth, kissing him sweetly again. "Love you Sammy."

Sam leaned back into his chair, beaming at hearing those words from Dean. He picked up a slice of pizza and held it to Dean's mouth. Dean took an obscenely large bite, smiling as he struggled to chew. Sam rolled his eyes and finished the rest of it before Dean had even swallowed.

Dean then took the time to tell Sam everything they'd uncovered, making an effort to talk up the role John had played in getting information on Azazel and where Sam fell into all of it. Afterwards the boys stared at their hands, still held together on the table.

"Where do we go from here Dean?"

Dean thought about how to answer that. He could lay out some grand plan he didn't have, or maybe just start with them leaving Stanford. He decided to go with the big picture instead.

"That's easy, you come back with me to Bobby's, we figure out how to stop Azazel, then we go back to saving people, just you and me," Dean beamed back in reply.   
  
***  
  
Sam couldn't stop his eyes from welling with tears. He wished it could be that simple, but he had a life here that he couldn't just walk away from. So much had changed since he'd left South Dakota behind. He could see a future ahead of him, a future full of new possibilities. Sam was positive that he could - needed - to fit Dean into his new life somehow, but how would he be able to do it? Hunting evil was his life, saving people his purpose. How could Sam keep him from being miserable while he went to school?

"I - I can't do that, Dean. I can't just leave."

Dean let go of his hand and Sam felt as though a piece of his heart had been taken with it. 

"Yeah, okay Sammy." Dean leaned back in his chair, hand raising to his forehead as he clearly struggled to keep his face clear of any emotion.

"Why can't you stay here with me? We could get our own place, just until I graduate. We can still be together." Sam didn't know how any of it was supposed to work, but it didn't matter at that point. They would figure it out as they went. Sam was living on campus and working part time in a book store. He could barely support himself and had no idea how they could afford their own place. Even if Dean worked full time it would be a stretch to afford anything near the school. Didn't matter though. They could live in a run down trailer if they had to, as long as they were together. Sam reached out with both hands, grabbing Dean's and holding it firmly in place.

"And do what, Sam?"

"We'll figure it out, like we always do."

"I'm not any good to you here. At least at Bobby's I can be part of stopping whatever Azazel is trying to do. I can still hunt down evil, keep you safe. How am I supposed to protect you if you're in classes all day?"

Anger swept everything else that Sam had been feeling away. Not this shit again, he thought.

"I don't  _need_  you to protect me! When are you gonna get that through your thick skull??" Sam had had enough of the bulldog act from Dean. "I've been doing fine this whole time in case you haven't noticed! I want to make you a part of my life, Dean! Build something together! All you want to do is keep me around like a little pet! If you think you can just carry me around in your back pocket while you go on doing whatever you want then you're crazy!" Sam jumped up from the table and stalked to the other side of the small room. 

"Wait a minute, that's not what I'm saying. We can't just ignore what's happening. You think hell is just going to put all their plans on hold so you can finish  _college_?"

"They can all go to hell!" And he realized what he'd just said when he saw a flash of a smirk on Dean's face, there one second and gone the next, which only further pissed him off. "Not you, or dad, or Bobby or some fucking demon is going to control my life!" Sam yelled as he started scanning the room for his things.

He should have known Dean wouldn't get it. He couldn't see anything past hunting evil, never had. It was all so gloriously black and white in Dean's simple head. Sam had to get out of that suffocating room and think. If Dean really wanted to be with him then he was going to have to make some changes too. He couldn't expect Sam to just keep giving up everything. What had Dean had to give up anyway? He did what ever he wanted, and if something didn't fit into that simple equation then he just ignored it.

Sam grabbed his shoes and socks, putting them on while standing, then snatched up his light jacket. He walked out the door without another word, leaving Dean open mouthed at the table. Typical that he would be surprised by Sam's reaction, he couldn't just  _think_  about what Sam might want.

***

The cool late night air felt good in Sam's lungs. It allowed him to think a little more clearly as he walked back to his dorm room. The dull ache in his ass, Sam thought with a smile he couldn't suppress, actually served to help focus his thoughts. He was definitely going to be feeling it for a while. Luckily Dean's motel wasn't all that far away from his own room, and the walk would give Sam plenty of time to work everything out in his head. 

They should probably just stay apart while Sam was in school. It made more sense that way. Dean could keep working with Bobby and taking on occasional hunts. It was stupid of Sam to think his brother could ever settle down in one place for long. They'd have to make their own lives, maybe Sam would fall in love with someone else after a few years - heart wrenched at that thought - or, more realistically, maybe he could just have Dean when he passed through the area. 

Sam started to think back on the first time he and Dean had been together as his anger faded away. A lifetime ago yet less than a year on the calendar. He had been prepared to give up anything for Dean back then. Was Stanford really so important to him now? What was he going to do after it was over? Find a job, buy a house somewhere? Then what? Was he fooling himself with the idea that he could live a normal life? Could you ever really get away from the supernatural once it was as aware of you as you were of it?

He felt ice sink down his spine as the truth of what Dean said sunk in. 

Sam had been living in blissful ignorance. Playing college kid when there were dark forces trying to determine his future, mankind's future. How did college even make sense when some powerful demon had it out for him personally? Here he was labeling Dean the idiot when he was the only one looking at their lives realistically. 

Sam shook his head at his own petulance, walking quietly for a while and feeling like a bigger fool with every step. Dean was right about everything, he had to go back to Bobby's with him. Far more was at stake than his own selfish need to prove himself. Here he was walking away from the only thing he really needed to be happy in life. 

He knew he should turn around and get back to Dean, but he was just too proud (stubborn?) to do it in that moment. He'd let Dean stew in Sam's words overnight and go to him in the morning. Dean had to start seeing Sam as an equal at some point. Maybe letting him sweat a little would get his point across. Dean had to know that he could never let him go back to Bobby's alone.

The dull ache was now becoming a throb as the walk took a toll on Sam's battered rear. He decided that walking back tonight was going to be out of the question anyway given the pain, and he'd probably want to take something when he got back to his room while he was at it. Dean would probably take some twisted pride in that if he'd been there to tell him.

He took a wistful glance around the empty campus as he neared his building, mentally saying goodbye to it as his decision to go with Dean cemented in his mind. He couldn't suppress the twinge of excitement the thought gave him now that he'd accepted it. Him and Dean on the road, their own hotel rooms... there could be worse things.

***

Sam turned the corner to his dorm and was confronted with a building engulfed in flames. All three floors of the once beautiful ivy clad building were spewing fire. Sam was lost in the surreal moment before his rational brain kicked in. It had to have spread out of control extremely fast, as the fire department still wasn't there, or even any onlookers for that matter. That was changing rapidly, however, as people began appearing from all directions. Sam finally heard a distant siren rapidly approaching when something caught his eye on the front steps of the burning building.

Three shirts, laid carefully flat and neatly lined up across the steps. Something was familiar about them, an itch in his brain he couldn't quite scratch that took his breath away when he finally connected the dots. They were the shirts that his three friends had been wearing earlier in the day, Sam was certain of it.

He lunged forward towards the entrance, fueled by pure panic and an irrational need to save his friends. There was no way anything could still be alive in that building, but Sam was far beyond rational thought. 

He was stopped by two powerful arms clutching his shoulders. He turned instinctively to fight them off and the hand moved up to his face as it blocked Sam's wild throws. He stopped fighting, overcome by the enormity of it all and began to focus on the screaming face before him.

"Sam! Sam, it's me dammit!" It was Dean. And how did he get here anyway? "Calm down, you're okay, you're okay, I've got you Sammy, I've got you."

Sam took into the familiar green eyes and beautiful lips, freckled nose and yeah, it really was Dean. He must have followed him. Probably determined to look out for him as he walked home, and Sam couldn't have been more grateful in that moment.

"Come here Sammy."

Sam folded into Dean's embrace, letting himself be wrapped up and supported by his brother's strength. His brain had shut down completely, overwhelmed by sight, sound, heat and implications. 

"It's gonna be alright Sammy, it's gonna be alright."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really appreciate the comments and feedback. Also really hope there aren't too many glaring typos, I try to read through each chapter at least twice. Between edits and tweaks sometimes I miss a few mistakes!


	9. The Beginning of the End of the World

Sam's field of vision was filled by two large disembodied yellow eyes. He thought he might still be lying down but couldn't be sure in the otherwise complete darkness. 

"Ahhhh there you are, Sammy!" The voice seemed to come from every direction.

Sam tried to move only to discover that he was disconnected from his body. They were in his mind, then. A dream, or nightmare, but no, this felt too real. Yellow Eyes - Azazel - was here with him. 

"I hope my little message wasn't too... over the top... but it's time for you to get back on the horse Sammy. You've gone soft and I need you trained and ready when the time comes to fulfill your role."

"You killed all those people, my friends. Go to hell!"

"Tsk tsk tsk, come now Sammy, is that any way to talk to your old man? Now listen closely," The voice now intimately close in his ear, "You're going to fulfill your role or I will take away what little you have left in this world. Don't think for a second that you can stop me. You're up against the legions of hell here boy. I can kill them anytime I like. Bobby, the man you call dad, every hunter that you've ever met... Your dear brother. My how he would look so sweet hung on my rack."

Sam made the mental equivalent of thrashing to get away from the voice. 

"Your friends were just the beginning of what's to come, but I'm not totally without pity. You play ball and I'll let you keep fucking big brother. He'll be all yours to do with as you like. I think he'd look great at the end of a leash personally."

Sam railed against the idea of Dean being treated like a piece of property, then reversed the mental image before he could think about what he was doing, couldn't stop the resulting shock of excitement.

"Oh Sammy, such delicious depravity! You'd just love wearing a leash for big brother wouldn't you?!" Laughter echoed throughout Sam's mind.

"Shut up! I'll do what you want, just don't hurt him. You have to swear you won't touch him!"

"I keep my word Sammy, no choice in the matter. But you have to do something for me first, you see. I've been a little too indulgent up to now, had a bit of a soft spot for you Sammy. So you're a little behind the curve. If you're going to be all that you can be I need to get you training for the big day."

"Just tell me what I have to do to stay with Dean."

"Oh Sammy, Sammy, Sammy. I said you could keep your pet, but I'm afraid your little college diversion has cost us precious time. John was doing an admirable job of training you into a proper little soldier all these years, but thanks to your... choices, I've had to take matters into my own hands. It may not have the finesse of my original plan, but I'm afraid there's no alternative."

"I'm not leaving him again."

"Oh but I'm afraid you must, that is, if you want to keep him breathing. When you wake up you're going to leave him. You'll find a surprise waiting for you outside. Something to fill the... holes that Dean's absence leaves behind. Take it as token of my undying gratitude for your cooperation. Once I'm convinced that you are back on track you can have big brother again. Who knows, if you're really as good as I think you'll be it might only take a few years." Wicked laughter filled Sam's mind again.

"No... please, don't make me do this."

"My heart breaks, really, but Dean will only serve to get in the way. It'd be easier to just remove him now if you'd prefer?"

"NO! I'll do it." Sam said in despair.

"There's a good boy."

***

Sam jolted in the crook of Dean's shoulder, a small pool of slobber sealing his face to Dean's skin. The sudden movement woke Dean and he turned to plant a kiss on Sam's forehead. 

"You okay?" He asked.

"Yeah, just a uh, bad dream I guess." Sam said.

Sam sat up in bed, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. Dean strained to look at the rapidly cooling pool of saliva on his shoulder.

"Gross," He said, looking for something in reach to wipe his shoulder with. 

Sam got up and made for the bathroom, scooping up an undershirt of Dean's along the way and tossing it back to the bed. Dean caught it and wiped his skin dry, throwing it back to the floor before grabbing the remote from the side table. The TV was on a local channel showing the station's morning show. They were looping footage of the dorm building in flames, billing it as the Stanford Massacre. The dorm was full given the late hour, and no one had apparently been able to escape. It was already clear to authorities that the fire had been set intentionally.

There was no doubt in Dean's mind that Azazel was responsible. The murdering bastard apparently didn't want Sam at Stanford any more than Dean did. Locking everyone in the dorm and letting it burn had stunned the boys in its savagery and visibility. The message couldn't have been any more loud and clear, and every hunter on the continent would be aware that something big was happening now. Azazel was too confident, and that knowledge sent a chill down Dean's spine.

Sam hadn't said much the night before. They'd stayed to give a brief witness statement to police before walking back to Dean's room in silence. Dean had not begun to know what to say to Sam. So he'd stayed quiet, hoping his physical presence had been enough. Once it all sunk in Sam was going to need every bit of support that Dean would be able to give, and then some. He wasn't looking forward to that day.

Dean turned the TV off. Sam didn't need that playing when he came out of the bathroom. He heard the shower start while he stared at the ceiling. He hated how wrong it felt that he was getting Sam back in this way. He should have been able to enjoy the excitement of taking Sam back to Bobby's without it being drenched in grief. He'd imagined them driving back to South Dakota with smiles and laughter. Now their entire future seemed darkened by a cloud of death.

They just had to get back to Bobby's as quickly as possible. If Azazel was making a big play then they'd need to bring in anyone that could help at this point. Dean had insisted on keeping what had happened to Sam between the four of them to ensure that he stayed off any hunter's radar. He didn't think they had that luxury anymore. With a little luck they could keep all the attention on this uber-demon and never have to mention Sam's connection. 

Dean got out of bed and went to the bathroom to pee. When he'd finished, Sam pulled back the shower curtain. "Join me?"

"Yeah," Dean said with a smile. He bent over to push his underwear off and gingerly stepped into the shower. Sam pulled him into a kiss, catching Dean off guard with its intensity. Dean responded by pouring everything he felt back into it. 

When Sam pulled back he grabbed the bar of soap, working up a lather with his hands. Dean broke into goose bumps when Sam's hands gently touched his chest. One palm over each of Dean's nipples, Sam began swirling his hands across Dean's body. Dean was struck by the reverence of Sam's careful movements, as if he was memorizing Dean's form down to the single cell. Dean let him cover every inch of his flesh in soap before Sam maneuvered him under the stream of water. Sam used his hands again to make sure Dean was rinsed well, then moved him back out of the water. 

Sam put a hand on the back of Dean's neck, his broad shoulders blocking any water from hitting Dean's face as he leaned in to kiss him again. Dean opened to Sam's tongue, letting slip a small moan as it filled his mouth. Before Dean had a chance to lose himself in it Sam was pulling back. He looked down at Dean's hard member, surrounding it with his left hand and slowly began stroking along its length.

Sam carefully lowered himself to his knees, taking Dean into his mouth. Dean began moving his hips as if by reflex, gently pushing in and out as Sam swirled his tongue. Sam was holding onto Dean's ass, moving his hips back and forth with increasing force and urgency. There was no prolonging it, fucking Sam was still too new and erotic for Dean, overwhelming him physically and mentally. 

He clutched at Sam's head as he came soundlessly, Sam swallowing and in turn clutching at Dean's waist. Sam stood, face showing something like loss, and laid a quick kiss on Dean's mouth before leaving the shower. Dean rested against the shower wall, letting the water run over him as he pondered Sam's expression. He figured that he shouldn't be surprised given the amount of grief he must be experiencing. 

Dean turned off the shower and stepped out, seeing that Sam had already dried and was presumably getting dressed.

"I'm going to grab us something to eat." Sam called from the room, tone too solemn for the words they conveyed.

"Okay, nothing frou-frou for me, and make sure I get some meat!" Dean called back.

He heard the door close and thought about what kind of salad or egg whites Sam would return with. He seemed to be taking things better than he'd expected so far, but it was still incredibly early . Dean just needed to wait for the other shoe to drop, the he could help pick up all the pieces. 

***

Sam left the motel room, scanning the parking lot for whatever he was supposed to find there. His gaze stopped on a late 60's baby blue Dodge Charger with a man behind sitting behind the wheel. Sam figured that had to be for him and began walking towards it. The driver door opened and the man stepped out, smiling brightly at Sam.

"Evan!" Sam ran towards his friend, relief surging throughout his body at seeing Evan alive.

"Hi, Sam." Evan said, eyes flashing solid black then back to hazel in a quick blink of an eye

Sam stopped short, heart sinking at the obvious sign that Evan was possessed by a demon. "Get the fuck out of him!" Sam growled at the demon wearing his friend.

"Don't think so Sam. It's still me. It's been me in here all along. The boss has had me keeping an eye on you. Don't look like that, Sam!"

Sam shook his head. Evan couldn't have been a demon. Sam would have known, wouldn't he?

"Let the kid go, just tell me where I'm supposed to go and then leave his body." Sam had to at least save one person in all of this. 

"What, you don't like what I'm wearing? I picked it out special for you." Evan replied with a suggestive raise of his eyebrows. His arms stretched wide, giving Sam a full view of the goods.

And then Sam started to notice. A bit over six feet tall, full mouth, similar hair style, same body type. The details were different; lighter dirty blond hair, hazel eyes instead of green, full lips but not the perfect bow shape of Dean's. It wasn't quite Dean, but it was close, and Evan was undeniably attractive. Is that really all it took for a demon to go unnoticed right under Sam's nose? He shook his head at himself in disgust. 

"Just let him go, no one else needs to suffer because of me." 

"Not gonna happen Sam. But don't worry, the kids been asleep the whole time. You cooperate with me and I'll keep it that way. Now come on, we have somewhere to be."

Sam slowly began walking forward again, resigning himself to doing whatever was necessary to protect Dean. He tucked a folded piece of paper under the Impala's wiper blade, then got into the passenger side of the Charger. 

"Like the wheels? Figured you'd prefer something like this, you know, considering. Beats the hell out of an Impala if you ask me."

"Don't talk to me."

"Aw, come on Sam, this is going to be a long drive if we can't talk." 

Sam sighed loudly. A large part of his brain that hadn't caught up yet was still glad to see Evan and was even comfortable sitting in the car with him. The other part was angry, at himself and the demon that was possessing an innocent college kid.

"What do I call you, anyway?" Sam asked, staring straight ahead as they pulled onto the road. 

"Evan," he said with a laugh. "That is my name, well, it's the suit's name but you can keep calling me that too. No reason to call me anything else now. I'm still your friend, Sam. I was only there to look out for you at first, but I really do like you, I mean that. I want you to come out ahead in all of this." Evan slipped his hand on the inside of Sam's thigh.

Sam scoffed, slapping the hand away. Demons would lie about anything but even if Evan did like him, he wasn't ever going to consider any demon a friend. He sure as hell wasn't going to let this thing put its hands on him.

"Where are you taking me?"

Evan only answered with a triumphant smile.

***

Dean was starting to get nervous. Sam had been gone a lot longer than necessary to pick up breakfast. He paced around the room, panicking when he didn't see any of Sam's things. Well of course he wouldn't see Sam's stuff, he didn't have anything but the clothes he'd been wearing after the fire destroyed everything else. He really had to get his head on straight. 

His eyes landed on the keys to the Impala. The fact that Sam didn't take them wasn't that unusual in itself. Sam liked to walk and run so it made sense that he'd have gone to get something to eat on foot. It would also help explain what was taking him so long. But Dean couldn't ignore the uneasiness he was feeling at his brother's absence. 

He grabbed the keys and left the room. He'd just drive around the immediate area to see if he could spot Sam. See if maybe his brother had had an emotional breakdown somewhere along the way. He couldn't have gone far on foot just to get food. Dean stopped as he approached the Impala, folded paper catching his eye. He knew before making another move that it meant Sam was gone. The note under his wiper, made on hotel stationary, couldn't mean anything else. He just knew. 

He slowly reached out and pulled the paper free. Hesitating to open it as if that would delay the inevitable. He opened the door and sat behind the wheel, clutching the steering wheel as he steadied himself. Finally, he opened the paper.

Dean,

I had to go with him. It was the only way to keep you alive. My turn to protect you for once. Don't give up on me. I will come back to you, I swear.

I love you  
-Sam


	10. Intervention

Dean sat in the car, note sitting in his lap with the weight of an anvil. Sam was gone again. Wrenched from his life just like that. Dean had never even had a chance to see it coming, to talk him out of it or fight whoever had come for him (though he knew it could only have been Azazel). Sam had made the decision for both of them, and now his only hope was to have faith that Sam could remain strong until Dean figured out where he was. Rage fought with grief as Dean repeatedly hit the steering wheel, saliva and tears wrenched free in the process.

Despair was wrapping him in its savage claws when he was brought momentarily back to the present by the appearance of a man in his window. Distraught or not, he really shouldn't have allowed someone to sneak up on him like that. He tried to get himself under control, hoping the man would just go away. Dean stared straight ahead, steadying himself with deep breaths.

He tried to wait the man out, ignoring him completely for minutes before finally looking at him in exasperation. Dean was about to tear the guy a new one, his current mental state affording him no capacity for kindness, when something about the stranger made him stop. There wasn't a whole lot to the guy, trench coat and piercing blue eyes, almost blank expression on his face. He was just standing there, patiently waiting to be acknowledged. Dean scoffed at the nerve of the guy and quickly rolled his window down to send the asshat on his way.

"Look pal, whatever you're looking for I ain't got it." Dean said, barely sparing the man a glance.

"I've managed to delay them, but you must hurry. It is important that you keep them from taking Sam. Southeast to Las Vegas." The man touched Dean's forehead and in a flash he knew exactly where he had to go, as if he'd planned the route himself. He jerked his head back and tried to shake off the feeling of disorientation. He kept his eyes closed for a few seconds as a wave of nausea washed over him.

He looked out of the window again, questions piling up on his tongue but the stranger was gone in a gust of wind. Everything was getting stranger by the second. Dean thought about what the man had said. Was he supposed to blindly follow some psychic directions to find Sam? Could be a trap, another demon leading him into certain death. But no, he didn't think so. They could have killed him and Sam both by now if that's what they'd really wanted. There wasn't anything left for him to lose anyway, he thought as the decision was made to follow the route now firmly implanted in his head.

Dean started the Impala and slammed it into reverse. Whatever the source, it was all he had to cling to right then. Hope that something was finally on their side for a change. Dean figured he had about an hour to make up for on the road and hoped that whoever had Sam would be sticking to normal speeds. He figured there was every reason to expect them to, it wouldn't help them to leave a trail of dead cops along the way. 

He raced towards the freeway, desperate hope driving him towards his Sammy.

***

They'd been driving all morning and were now firmly surrounded by desert. Based on the sun Sam figured it had passed into the afternoon in the last hour or so. He had successfully ignored all of Evan's attempts at small talk, and Evan had successfully evaded all of Sam's attempts to find out where he was being taken and why. 

"I will tell you this," Evan said. "You're kind of a big deal down below. There's even talk of the big man himself waking up. You're quite the demon celebrity." Evan said genuinely, as if Sam should be flattered by all of the attention.

"Why me? What could you possibly want me for? So what if I have a few drops of demon blood, Azazel already has enough power to destroy an army of hunters."

"Oh Sam, you're missing the big picture! Hunters! If they were the only thing standing in our way then we'd have taken over millennia ago! You have to stop thinking so small." 

Sam's hair stood on edge as the implications of Evan's words sunk in. What Evan was suggesting was the apocalypse, Heaven versus Hell in the final showdown, and as far as Sam knew the man upstairs hadn't bothered to show up yet. Sam and his family had only ever encountered evil in all of their hunts. Sure, there had been plenty of good people along the way, but nothing close to a righteous equivalent of a demon.

Could there really be a much larger struggle going on? Something as simple as good versus evil, where hunters played at best a minor role? Sam still didn't know how he fit into all of it.

He was brought back to the moment by a sharp slam of the brakes. Evan was cursing at the road ahead as he rapidly brought the Charger to a stop The roadway was blocked completely by an overturned tanker truck laying on its side perpendicular to the road. Fire was blazing into the desert on each side from thousands of gallons of spilled fuel, clearly blocking any attempt they could make to go around. 

Something was off about it all that Sam didn't like. They were in the middle of nowhere, there were no other cars either driving or involved in the apparent accident, and the way forward was too perfectly blocked. 

Sam looked to Evan, who was even more spooked by the roadblock if his ebony eyes were any indication. The engine was still running and it occurred to Sam that the demon might be contemplating an attempt to drive straight through the flames. Sam decided it would be a good time to get out of the car, and moved to do just that. Evan might be able to survive driving through a raging fire, but Sam wasn't keen on his own chances. 

"Get back in the car Sam!" 

"Not until you tell me what you plan to do next, man. And if it has anything to do with driving into that then you can forget it," he said, pointing at the inferno.

"Don't worry your pretty little head, we'll double back and get you where you need to be. Might be a little late, but then it doesn't look like it can be avoided, does it?" Evan shook his head, trying to maintain a smile through his frustration. "Do they really think it's going to be this easy?!" He said with a truly evil laugh. 

"Who?" Sam asked. "Who's trying to stop you?" Other demons? Something else?

"Come on, in the car Sam. No time to chat. Chop chop!" 

Sam reluctantly moved to get back in but was stopped by a flash of sun on metal in the direction they'd come. He stood there in the afternoon sun, shading his eyes with his right hand, unable to look away from the wavy splotch of black in the distance. Just another motorist traveling to destination unknown, Sam told himself. If the vague shape looked familiar it was simply his mind showing him what he wanted to see.

The dark, low profile of the approaching vehicle was soon accompanied by the roar of an engine, and what Sam had refused to hope for was confirmed. Dean had found them, somehow. 

Hope was quickly replaced by fear, however, as the Impala rapidly approached. Evan was obviously an underling, but any demon could be too much for the boys to take on with no preparation. Sam had to think fast. He had a few precious seconds before Evan realized who was rushing towards them. He folded himself back into the passenger seat, seamlessly pulling the knife he kept at his ankle as he did so. In one smooth motion he rapidly brought the blade up to Evan's throat, slicing clean through until it contacted his spinal cord. Blood poured from Evan's severed neck, eyes going wide in surprise and momentary panic. Before he could relish his brief victory Sam was being thrown from the car with demonic force. 

Sam was sprawled out on the asphalt, uneven waves of force holding him in place as Evan struggled to manage his power and the dying body he inhabited at the same time. More attention was being given to the body as the force almost went away entirely, allowing Sam to stand in what eerily felt like a cross between a strong wind and standing water. 

The wound wouldn't kill the demon, but Sam just needed to slow it down long enough to get Dean out of there alive. Evan tried to speak but only gurgled, holding a hand to his neck as he tried to heal the body he wore. Sam's attention was pulled away from the gory display by the sound of tires squealing as the Impala came to a stop fifty feet away. Dean had already catapulted himself from the Impala and was running to close the distance with Sam, large gun held rigidly at his side as he eyed the occupant of the Charger. His gaze then locked on Sam's blood covered hands and shirt, already mentally surveying his brother for injuries. 

The Charger's driver door opened and Evan stepped out to face them. He watched Dean with a bloody grin, opening his mouth as if to speak, his throat now mostly closed. Dean raised his gun without hesitating, emptying the clip into Evan's head before the demon had time to react, taken by surprise now by both Winchester brothers. The demon went sprawling on his back, movements erratic as he struggled to control a body minus its brain. Dean saw that it was not an easy thing to manage as he made it to Sam and immediately began searching him for wounds.

"Dean, Dean! I'm fine! We have to go, now!" Sam said as Dean's hands carefully explored his body.

Dean answered by feverishly kissing Sam, deep, passionate and all too brief before grabbing his arm and running back to the Impala. They split apart to get in each side, and Dean slammed it into drive before careening away from the bullet riddled demon in a cloud of tire smoke. Dean grabbed a hold of Sam's hand, both men shaking from adrenaline. 

"Don't you ever even think about leaving me again." Dean said, his tone simmering with violence.

"Dean-"

"End of discussion."

The two men raced west in silence, Dean maintaining an iron grip on Sam's hand.

***

Castiel stood over Evan as the demon struggled to mend his battered meat suit. The angel bent down to touch him and recognition flashed in Evan's eyes. He jerked his head to the side, jaw opening wider than would have been humanly possible. An oily cloud of smoke began to pour out of Evan's mouth but was stopped as Castiel's hand gripped the boy's bloody throat. The cloud was slowly forced back into Evan's body as the angel spoke a string of ancient words, blessing the soul of the possessed boy to heaven. Evan's soul released, Castiel destroyed the demon in a blinding flash of light and heat.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd love some feedback from anyone still reading. It really helps!


	11. Aftermath

The boys drove all afternoon and into the evening, stopping for gas and little else. Conversation had been minimal, with Dean barely speaking but to answer basic questions with 'yeah,' 'no,' and 'okay'. Sam, for his part, did very little talking. He wanted to. Wanted to tell Dean why he'd left, that it had been so they could still have a chance. If not right now then at least sometime in the future. There was so much he'd wanted to say, but every word was choked off by the tension in the car.

He'd considered telling Dean how they had doomed themselves by escaping Evan. The demon would surely report back to Azazel and then it would only be a matter of time before more demons came. Could Sam make Dean understand that without his brother blaming himself for everything that happened after? He didn't think he could, so instead he would make the most of whatever time they had left together. 

Dean abruptly pulled off the road and into the parking lot of the A-1 Budget Motel, shaking Sam of his thoughts. He was vaguely aware that they'd passed into Klamath Falls a few minutes prior, putting them in southern Oregon. Dean left the car without a word and headed for the office. Sam remained seated in the passenger seat feeling like a kid in trouble with his dad. Dean was still obviously pissed off about the fact that he'd left and Sam was wondering what it was going to take to break his mood. He had a few ideas on how to do just that, most of them dirty enough to make Sam blush had he been in public.

Dean came back from the office, key dangling in hand, and went straight to the trunk. Sam decided that that was his queue to get out and went to get his own bag. He stood dumbly next to Dean staring into the open trunk for a few seconds before it occurred to him that there was nothing in there for him to get. Suddenly Sam felt very dirty for an entirely different reason. All he had left was what he was wearing, already on day two and smelling of smoke and sweat. 

Dean slung his bag over his shoulder and closed the trunk, turning to go to their room, still without a word. Sam followed automatically, annoyed with himself for giving Dean all of the control. They walked into the room and Dean dropped his bag to the floor on his way to the bathroom. 

"Shower, now."

Sam couldn't help a little stir of excitement at the command, and kept on following Dean into the bathroom. Dean started the water and undressed, acting the whole time as if Sam wasn't inches away in the small space. Sam followed suit, undressing quickly and stepping into the shower behind his brother. Dean was already rinsing his hair of shampoo so Sam just stood at the back of the tub and watched. He couldn't stop the reaction he had at seeing Dean wet and naked just a short reach away. 

Dean scrubbed and rinsed, still all business without acknowledging him. When he was finished, he spun around and traded places with Sam, pushing his head under the spray. Dean washed and rinsed his hair, then cleaned his body with rapid efficiency. Sam stood un-resisting as Dean soaped him up and rinsed him off, still unsure of how to take anything or where it was all going. 

Dean shut the water off and stepped out, handing a towel to Sam before drying himself. Once dried, Dean walked back into the room with Sam in tow. 

"I need to borrow some underwear."

Dean continued to ignore him and now it was starting to piss Sam off.

"On your stomach," Dean ordered, indicating the bed with a nod.

Sam stood still, the words sending an electric current through his body. Dean was bent over looking for something in his bag, and the sight made Sam's dick jump in excitement. He could be stubborn and ignore the command, but Sam was already too turned on to give it any real consideration. He slowly walked the few steps to the bed and crawled onto it, taking over all the space with spread arms and legs. 

"Apparently you have to be reminded of who you belong to." Dean said, walking towards the bed and pausing at the foot of it. 

Sam waited for Dean's next move, achingly hard now as he realized what Dean had in mind to punish him. It took every bit of control he had not to start rubbing himself against the mattress as his heart started pounding with adrenaline. 

Dean crawled onto the bed between Sam's legs and spread his ass open. He jumped when the cold lube hit his sensitive flesh, relaxing some when Dean's fingers warmed the cool liquid. He let his hips move into the bed as Dean roughly rubbed the lube in and around his opening, tilting his ass up a little to give Dean a better view. Sam relished in the sweet violation of his brother's claim on him, gasping for breath as Dean left no part of him unexposed. 

Thoroughly slicked, Dean pulled him by his hips until Sam was on his hands and knees, then put the palm of his hand between Sam's shoulders and shoved his face back down into the pillow. This left Sam's ass in the air for Dean to take as he pleased, which nearly forced a needy groan out of him. Sam waited for what was to come next, cock leaking with over excitement. When it didn't come, he leaned back a little trying to push himself onto Dean but still failed to make contact.

"I should just leave you like this, slick and waiting to be fucked until I'm good and ready. I could go get something to eat, watch a little TV. Then at least you'd be getting punished," Dean said, voice low and heavy with desire. His hand returned to Sam's ass, rubbing firm circles into his left cheek, the motion spreading him wide with each pass. "But you just look too fucking good like this, Sammy. So instead I'm gonna fuck you until you don't know your own name anymore. Fuck you until the only thing you do know is that you're mine."

Sam arched his back into the bed, giving himself over completely to lust and the desire to be utterly possessed. Dean responded by holding Sam in place by his hips and slowly pushing into him. Sam let out a long moan as he was impaled onto Dean's thick cock, only quieting when the intrusion stopped. Dean held steady for a few seconds before pulling back and slamming into Sam again. His moans turned into muffled words as Dean began relentlessly pounding into him, until Sam couldn't stop the loud continuous cry that left his lips, only interrupted by the force of Dean's body hitting his own. 

"Who do you belong to?" Dean growled out, emphasizing every word with rough thrust into Sam.

Sam could barely think of the words to reply, lost in the feeling of Dean fucking him harder than ever before. 

"You! God only you!"

"Who?"

"You! Dean I'm yours - I belong to you!"  
  
"That's right Sammy, and you're not"-slam-"gonna"-slam-"fucking"-slam-"forget it"-slam-"again."

"Fuck no-ahh god fuck- not ever-" and Sam was coming, screaming out one long drawn out syllable. He sprayed himself in the chest and neck before collapsing under the force of Dean's onslaught. Dean fucked him through it, following Sam as he fell on his stomach and landing on top of him without missing a beat.

"That's right, Sammy, all mine," Dean said through heavy breaths as he adjusted to straddle Sam's thighs, now fucking him into the mattress. 

The words were lost on Sam, his mind a mix of post orgasmic bliss and fucked out oblivion. Dean's constant battering of his ass and prostate were keeping him from going completely soft. He was pretty sure that he could stay like that forever, on his stomach with Dean's weight on top of him, getting fucked hard and fast.

"Fuck, so good Sam, so fuckin' tight" Dean reached his arm around Sam's neck and pulled his head back, sucking on his neck as his thrusts became shallower, staying deep inside as he worked closer to coming. Sam was hard again, the thought of being filled with Dean's seed making him squirm back into Dean's buried cock. 

"Want you to come inside me Dean, fill me up with it."

Dean responded with a breathy "Fuck", pulling Sam's head to the side taking his mouth into a wet and sloppy kiss. Dean was panting into Sam's mouth, orgasm building, sucking Sam's lips to his own every few breaths. Sam was getting a mouthful of Dean's saliva mixed with his own and he swallowed it down. The thought of taking more of Dean into his body pushed him close to coming again, and he started humping the bed frantically. Their rhythm was off but the movement of Sam's hips was enough to prevent Dean from holding out any longer. He gripped Sam tight, moaning into his mouth as he drove sharp thrusts into Sam with every shot of come. 

Sam sped up his own thrusts into the bed, the friction on his cock and Dean's come slick dick inside him making him explode again. He convulsed under the weight of Dean, finally settling into his own mess as Dean made no attempt to move off of him. Despite it all, Sam began drifting off almost immediately, dreaming of the day even as he was still aware of his brother's presence all around him. 

He came to again when Dean started snoring in his ear. Sam was having trouble breathing under the dense mass of Dean so he slowly half rolled onto his side until Dean slid off of his back. He fell quickly back to sleep with a contented sigh on his lips.

***

Dean awoke spooning Sam, arms wrapped tightly around his big, younger brother. He was a little annoyed with Sam for making him so clingy but he needed the confirmation the he really was there, alive and breathing. Sam began to stir, turning in Dean's arms to face him and planting a kiss on Dean's lips with a smile.

"Morning breath," Dean said, and rolled out of bed. He went into the bathroom to relieve himself then started the shower. 

"I need to use your toothbrush," Sam said from the other side of the shower curtain. 

"Ew no, I'll get you another one, just use your finger."

There was a short pause, then a muffled "too late" from across the vinyl divide. 

Dean hurried his shower. He hadn't even brushed his own teeth yet, and despite the fact that he and Sam shared practically everything at this point, using his tooth brush was going too far. He got out and was greeted by a smiling Sam in the bathroom mirror, dimples at one hundred percent, and suddenly it didn't matter as much. Dean shook his head, grinning at how easily he crumbled when it came to Sam, and grabbed the toothbrush.

"I'm gonna go get you some clothes and stuff, then we can start heading back to Bobby's," Dean said while thoroughly rinsing the toothbrush. 

"You are not picking out all my clothes, I'll borrow something of yours and go with you."

"Sorry, fresh out of sasquatch sizes, and you're not stretching my stuff out. I'll just grab you a few things and you can buy the rest yourself later. What size are you, anyway?"

Sam sighed, no doubt resigning himself to being stuck in the motel room until Dean returned. He handed Dean a slip of motel stationary with his sizes and plopped down on the foot of the bed. 

"I'll be back soon, salt the doors and windows."

Sam nearly rolled his eyes, stopping himself as he thought of how practical that order suddenly seemed. 

***

Dean shoved the paper in his pocket and left the room, turning to ensure that the door was locked behind him. He stopped before walking to the Impala, eyes trained on the man in the trench coat standing next to the driver's door. 

"Who are you?" Dean asked, walking slowly towards the stranger.

"I am an angel of the lord," The man said.

"Yeah and I'm freakin' Micky Mouse."

"You are Dean Winchester, and it is up to you and Sam to stop the apocalypse."

Dean looked at him, incredulous.

"Look, you may have helped me find Sam but my patience only goes _so_ _far_. Now you better start making some sense or you'll be in a world of pain!" Dean struggled to keep his voice under control as he said the words, now in the stranger's face.

The man looked at Dean only centimeters from his face, no sign of emotion at his outburst, and took two steps back. He reached out to Dean's forehead, arm fully extended, and lightly touched his skin with the tip of his finger.

A rush of images blasted through Dean's mind. A huge winged creature, fierce and awe inspiring, that he could only identify as angelic, battling dark horrors in abstract surroundings of browns and grays. The power of it dropped Dean to his knees, breaking the contact and bringing him back to the present. 

"Okay," Dean groaned, "So maybe you're telling the truth." He struggled back to standing and looked back at the... thing.  "Do you have a name, cause I ain't callin' you angel."

"Castiel."

"Well get in, Castiel, I got some errands to run. You can come along and explain to me what's going on and how the hell it involves me and Sam."

***

By the time Dean had filled a basket at the local Fred Meyer Castiel had filled him in on the basics. Dean was surprised by how unsurprising it all was. He'd always know that evil existed, but it was nice to know that there was also tangible good in the universe, hard as that was to believe given his life's experience. Heaven generally ignored humanity (not so hard to believe), only exerting subtle influence here and there when necessary. Evil had always existed in a destructive balance to creation, and mankind's free will offered an open avenue for Hell's meddling in human affairs. 

This had all gone on in some form for all of history, but things were beginning to change. An ancient demon's schemes were making startling progress, and Heaven seemed to be looking the other way. This wasn't the first plot to bring about the apocalypse, Castiel had explained. The archangels would always intervene well before any prior plan had had any chance of success, charging into Hell itself when necessary. This time they were holding back, watching and waiting. 

Castiel had taken a great risk by intervening on his own, unable to let God's creation be destroyed so easily. 

"So why doesn't the big man himself just smite the demons and be done with it?" Dean asked.

"He seems to be... gone. It has been over two thousand years since any angel has been aware of his presence. I believe they are losing faith and hoping that by allowing Hell to overrun earth it will force God to return."

"So they're just gonna let millions of people die?!"

"Billions, likely, but you and Sam alone hold the power to stop it."

"Yeah? And just what are we supposed to do about it?"

"Your roles will be revealed. It's better that the archangels don't know that I've contacted you. They may intervene if they realize that Sam's path has been interrupted. If that occurs I will need to take measures to stop them. In the meantime you must return to your friend. I believe he can help hide you from the agents of Hell. I will keep your location muddled to them until you arrive there."

"I'm gonna need you to give me a hell of a lot more than that to go on!" Dean said, but the angel was gone. "Great," he muttered to himself and walked to the registers. 

***

Sam had been getting restless waiting on Dean to get back. After flipping through channels for fifteen minutes he had moved on to looking through Dean's things. It appeared that all he'd brought were clothes and toiletries, nothing indicating what he and Bobby had uncovered over months of research. 

After that he just laid on the bed, letting himself get lost in thought until he heard the familiar rumble of the Impala. He jumped out of bed, thinking he should look busy and quickly abandoning that idea at its obvious foolishness. He ended up just standing in the middle of the room when Dean walked in, both hands weighed down by bags. 

"You been waiting there the whole time?" Dean said with an odd look at Sam.

"Uh what? No, just got up to help, anything else in the car?"

"Nope, besides, you don't need to give the rest of the guests a free show."

Sam looked down, seeing that he was still only wearing the towel he'd had on since Dean left. 

"Now, I, on the other hand, would love a free show," Dean said with a sly grin. 

Sam only scoffed and started going through the bags that Dean had brought in, pulling out clothes and making faces at each article. 

"What?" Dean asked, annoyance evident in his expression and tone.

"This all looks like stuff you wear." 

"Yeah? And?" Dean said, now offended instead of annoyed.

" _And_ it's not what I wear."

"Calm down Mary, you can buy all your own stuff when we get to Bobby's. You have a bunch of your old stuff there too."  
  
Sam's retort was lost as he watched Dean roll into bed wearing only his boxer briefs. Dean had a way of getting almost fully undressed in one smooth motion. He laid flat on his back, arms tucked behind his head. Sam let his towel drop to the floor along with the argument and crawled up Dean's body, trailing light kisses along the way. He held himself over Dean on his hands and knees, then slowly lowered himself so that most of his weight was on his side. Dean leaned in to gently kiss him, wrapping one arm around Sam's shoulder, and they silently soaked in each other's love for several minutes. 

"Sorry if I got a little rough last night. It's just that, I don't know what I would've done if I'd lost you. I guess I got a little mad that could just leave like that." Dean said.

"Don't be sorry, it was hot," Sam said with a shy smile. "I'm the one that should be apologizing. Azazel was able to find me in my sleep, like he tuned into my own thoughts. He said if I went along with him that you'd be okay, that he wouldn't hurt anyone we know. I just thought that by going with him I could buy you and Bobby some more time to find out how to put a stop to all of this while keeping you safe. I'd never willingly leave you, Dean. I love you. If I don't have you then what do I have?"

"You had a good life going at Stanford until that fuck had to destroy it. We can still stop this in time for you to go back and make whatever you want of yourself. You don't need me, Sam." 

"Dean, of course I do. I had already made the decision to come back with you. You were right about college, about everything. I can't just walk away from the life that dad made us live, no matter how much I want to. Azazel just proved that. I was acting like a dumb teenager," Sam said.

"Well, you are a teenager," Dean pointed out, his finger softly tapping Sam's nose.

"Yeah for a few more months anyway."

"You were really gonna come back with me?" Dean asked.

"Yeah, I was just too stubborn to cave in right away."

"Now that's something that'll never change," Dean said as he leaned in and claimed Sam's mouth again. 

"You know he's just going to send more of them after us," Sam said gently.

"Maybe so, but we have some pretty serious backup now. Big, winged backup." Dean said, small laugh escaping his mouth at the look on Sam's face.

"What do you mean, winged backup? Like angels? Some kind of other demons? Tell me Dean." Sam couldn't stop a bit of whine from entering his tone.

"Like _an_ angel, I know- I didn't believe it either but it's real. He's how I was able to find you. I'll fill you in on the way to Bobby's."

Sam started to demand a full explanation right then and there but was stopped by Dean's lips against his own, Dean's hand cupping his neck. He supposed he could wait until they were on the road when Dean put it that way.

The boys laid in bed, kissing and touching, until Sam's stomach made its presence known. 

"Come on," Dean said. "Get dressed and we'll get something to eat on our way out of town. Then I'll tell you everything."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, your thoughts and feedback are always appreciated and motivating.


	12. Origins

Sam picked a black V-neck and jeans out of his new clothes and started getting dressed. Dean put his dirty clothes in his bag and packed the rest of Sam's new things into the duffle bag he'd bought for him. Once dressed, Sam put on his new coat, grabbed his bag and he and Dean left the room for the more intimate space of the Impala. 

Dean started the car and let it idle for a few moments as he set the heat to full blast. It was a chilly mid-February morning, but Sam was already almost uncomfortably warm in the thick winter coat Dean had bought for him. Dean, on the other hand, was clearly cold in his usual leather jacket, rubbing his hands together to generate heat. Sam grabbed a hold of them, enclosing Dean's cold flesh in his own warm hands, and smiled sweetly at Dean. Dean nearly pulled away but Sam squeezed tighter, message clear that he wasn't about to let go. Dean looked away with an almost goofy vulnerability and let Sam warm him up.

Once his hands were undeniably warm Dean became impatient so Sam relented, releasing his brother so he could get them on the road. They drove for a few minutes before spotting the Black Bear diner. Dean parked and the boys walked in, minds focused on eating. Sitting down, Sam couldn't help but notice how attractive their waitress was and glanced across the table to see how Dean would react to her. The last time they’d spent any kind of time in public together had been Before. Before they were more than brothers, or before they’d stopped being brothers but had become so much more, however one chose to look at it.

The waitress, Candi by her name tag (seriously?), slid a menu in front of each of them and asked them what they’d like to drink, eyes lingering on Dean. She was blonde, big chested and small in the waist, just the type Dean would have closed the deal with in about 4 seconds flat. Dean was looking at Sam, who was still looking back at him waiting for him to take notice. He must have been broadcasting his thoughts on his face if the way Dean was examining him were any indication. Sam broke the eye contact to order coffee and survey the menu, using his peripheral vision to watch for the moment Dean turned his head.

Dean kept his eyes on Sam instead, telling Candi that he’d also have coffee, dismissing her as if by psychic command. Sam looked back up when she’d left and Dean continued to hold his gaze on him, eyebrows raised a little, cocky look on his face as if he’d just passed a test and was waiting for his gold star. Sam huffed out a laugh and shook his head. Of course Dean had read his mind, and was making sure he knew it. He decided he was going to have to work on his poker face as a swelling of love (with a large side of relief) filled his chest.

Candi returned with two coffees and sat a pot on the table, apparently having realized that repeated trips for refills weren’t going to get her anywhere.

“Do you know what you’re having hun?” She said to Dean.

“I’ll take the Papa Bear Burger with fries and a slice of your apple pie,” Dean said, eyes trained on Sam.

“Uh, I’ll take a chicken caesar salad, thanks.” Sam took pity on Candi and smiled at her. She smiled back with a wink, perking up as she really noticed Sam for the first time.

“Ok you made your point, but you can at least act like you know the poor girl exists so she doesn't end up crying alone in the bathroom”

“Was there a girl over here Sammy? I hadn't noticed.” Dean’s whole face smiled at Sam, clearly not yet finished making his point.

"You really expect me to believe that you didn't notice Candi and her twins?"

"Nope, but I can't seem to take my eyes off this smokin' brunette in front of me," Dean said with a leer. 

“Yeah yeah, love you too." Sam felt his face heat as blood rushed into his cheeks. "So are you going to tell me what’s going on?”

“Let’s eat first. I don’t think we want to risk being locked in the looney bin if a bunch of people overhear us.”

“Fine but we’re talking about this when we get in the car, and you're not holding anything back from me.” Sam said.

“Wouldn't dream of it.”

***

After their meal they set off for South Dakota. Dean filled Sam in first on Castiel’s sudden appearance and cryptic words, then on his second appearance and subsequent explanation of what was happening. Castiel had confirmed that Dean and Bobby were basically on the right track, but also that they’d had no idea of the scale of what was happening. Their conversation meandered from how they'd spent the past several months to how they were going to plan for the future. At first Dean talked and Sam mostly listened, but that changed as they made their way across southern Oregon and dipped into Nevada. Sam spent more time as they drove answering Dean's many questions about life at college and what 'normal' living was like. Dean's casual probes about Sam's love life were blatantly obvious so Sam left no question that he'd been celibate while attending school, inching a little closer in the seat as he did so.

“So,” Sam said, conversation having returned to their present situation, “Heaven versus Hell, apocalypse on Earth, an angel says only you can stop it and a demon needs me to make it happen?”

“Yup, pretty much sums it up. And our new angel friend said he was going to run interference while we make it back to Bobby’s.”

“You know, even if they do take me again I don’t have to go along with their plans.” Sam said thoughtfully, wheels in his head beginning to turn.

“Hey, nobody’s taking you anywhere, you hear me? Not as long as I’m around.”

“I don’t think they would risk killing me Dean, not if I’m some kind of key to all of this. Maybe we should think about how I could use this to get inside, find out exactly what they plan to do and how to stop them. I could play along until I get enough information then you and this angel can get me out. It's basically what I was planning on doing when I left with Evan” Sam realized it was a mistake to mention his leaving as soon as the words left his mouth.

“Out of the question, I’m not gonna risk losing you again.” Dean said with finality. 

Sam knew the argument was lost already, Deans armor was moving into place and he wasn't going to budge, but he had to give it one last try. “We have an angel on our side, Dean, we can use that. If Heaven really is sitting this one out then they’ll never see him coming!” 

“I said no Sam and that’s final! We’re going to Bobby’s to regroup and we’ll see what Castiel has to say. What we will not be doing is sending you back into the arms of Azazel!” Dean yelled.

“Okay Dean, okay. Fine, but we’re going to have to do a lot more than hide at Bobby’s before this is over. We’re too involved in this not to get our hands dirty eventually.”

“Oh, we’re gonna get our hands dirty, but not until I say we will.” Dean turned the music up, effectively ending further discussion on the matter.

Sam mentally kicked himself, thinking that he was really getting a knack for pissing his brother off. He didn't know what was worse, Dean shutting down on him or being subjected to hours of blaring rock music, but he was about to get both so he figured he better do something fast. 

Sam let instinct guide him and looked over to Dean, pulling his right hand from the steering wheel. Dean spared him a quick, broody glance as he brought the hand to his mouth, pulled his index and middle fingers straight, and then began to gently suck on them. That got Dean’s attention, responding with a quick twitch of his eyebrows and his tongue moistening his lower lip. As Sam slowly worked his fingers in and out of his mouth Dean slouched in the driver’s seat to make room in his pants, expression getting softer and darkening with lust.

Having Dean’s fingers in his mouth immediately made him want to replace them with something else, so he pulled them out, sucking away most of the moisture as he did so. Pulling Dean’s arm over his shoulders, Sam maneuvered his knees into the floorboard and his face into Dean’s groin. Dean sucked in a sharp breath as Sam rested his face on his hard length, rubbing his cheek into the erection.

Sam wasn't sure how long he could stay contorted like he was so he didn't waste any time. He unbuttoned and opened Dean’s jeans, yanking them down just enough to pull his hard dick free. Dean adjusted his position, spreading his legs wider and moving his right hand to the back of Sam’s head.

Sam took him as deeply as possible, wanting to work at Dean’s head with his throat but his inexperience making it all but impossible. Instead he slid back up to work his mouth and tongue around the top half of Dean’s shaft while jerking the base with his right hand. Dean jerked up into Sam by flexing his ass and pulled Sam’s hair tight into his fist, pushing his head down every time Sam brought it back up. 

Sam relaxed his neck a little and held his mouth open, lips over teeth, letting Dean take total control of the pace. He pushed his thumb into the place where Dean's cock met his balls, feeling them tighten up as he worked closer to climax. The thought of Dean spilling into his mouth made Sam throb painfully in the too tight jeans Dean had picked out for him. There was no way he could open his own pants in the position he was in, so he squirmed instead, using the tightness to give his dick some much needed friction. 

Sam started rotating his hand, rubbing his palm across Dean's balls, fingers through soft, short hair as he became desperate to taste every drop of what Dean had to give. He could hear Dean telling him through heavy breaths that he was about to come and Sam pulled on his balls in response, fingers slipping between his legs to put pressure on the sweet spot just behind the flesh there.

Dean swerved the Impala as he shot into Sam's waiting mouth, pushing his head down to the base while thrusting upwards. Sam let it fill his mouth before swallowing, moaning at the taste of Dean's load. He came in his jeans as he drank Dean down, pulling up to suck at the head while jerking Dean until he was empty. 

Dean relaxed into the seat and steadied the car, catching his breath as Sam squeezed up the length of his shaft to suck out the last of his come. The motion along his overly sensitive flesh made Dean twitch, causing Sam to smile as he pulled off of him. He gave Dean's softening dick one last kiss before moving up out of his lap, smacking his lips along the way.

Sam tucked Dean back into his pants and made a futile effort to yank his jeans back up the inch or two he'd been able to pull them down. Dean put his arm across the back of the seat as Sam struggled to get out of the floorboard, finally pulling him to the middle once he was seated again. They drove on in companionable, sated silence, Sam tucked under Dean's arm and the open road ahead.

***

The boys arrived at Bobby's late the next morning, taking shifts behind the wheel so they could drive straight through the night. Sam couldn't help the apprehension that he felt at being back at the salvage yard. All the feelings he'd left with came rushing back as Dean killed the engine and looked over to him.

"You're gonna be fine, babe. Bobby's gonna be happy to see you and I don't see dad's truck anywhere." Dean leaned over to back his words up with a kiss. 

Sam's heart sped up from nerves and the proximity of Dean's lips to his own. He took a deep breath and kissed Dean back, taking strength from the fact that everything would be okay with his big brother beside him. 

"Okay, let's go," Sam said with a sigh and opened the car door. 

They walked to the house together, Dean grabbing Sam’s hand as he went. The contact was unexpected and blew away the anxiety Sam felt at being back. The front door opened and Bobby limped out, huge smile plastered on his face. Sam surged forward at seeing the man’s expression, throwing his arms around him in a hug. After a few moments they pulled apart, both men’s eyes red with emotion.

“Damn it’s good to see you again boy!” Bobby said, patting Sam on the shoulder.

“Good to see you too, Bobby.”

Dean walked up and gave Bobby’s shoulder a squeeze, asking, “You okay? Moving a little slow there Pops.”

“I'm fine, just had a little on the job mishap. You two get inside and out of the cold.”  
The three of them followed Bobby in, Sam and Dean taking seats at the dining table while Bobby fetched them all beers.

“Now Sam, tell me all about Stanford and why the hell you came back with this damn fool brother of yours.” There was a brief awkward moment after Bobby used the word ‘brother’ and Sam couldn’t even quite pinpoint the exact reason why. Because Dean wasn’t really his brother anymore? Because they were in love with each other? Most likely Bobby was simply making a point that nothing had changed as far as he was concerned. Sam decided to let it go.

“Well,” Sam answered. “College was great, but it was kind of like living in an alternate universe.”

“Yeah, a universe full of babes ready to experiment, amiright Sammy?” Dean said. Sam shot him a look that said ‘what the hell?’ and Dean answered with an expression of ‘I don’t know why I said that’. Bobby just looked at them both and shook his head.

Before Sam could continue Castiel appeared in the doorway of the dining room. Bobby startled back from the table, coming up with a shotgun and putting two rounds of salt into the angel.

"Bobby wait!" Dean yelled. Sam looked just as alarmed as Bobby but was following Dean's lead by not jumping into action. 

"How the hell did you get in here!? This place is warded against every kind of evil there is!" Bobby said to the intruder.

"I am not evil, your warding does not apply to me. I need to speak to Dean." Castiel said.

"Not before you tell me what the hell you are and what you want with him." Bobby said, keeping the gun trained on him.

"Bobby, it's fine, this is Cas, he's a friend of mine." Dean made his way toward Castiel, holding his hands towards Bobby in the classic 'don't shoot' gesture. 

"This is the angel, seriously?" Sam couldn't help the incredulity that colored his words as he looked the man up and down. 

"Angel?" Bobby said.

***

"Everybody just shut the hell up for a minute! I'm gonna to talk to Cas and then you two can ask all the questions you want." Dean brushed by Castiel on the way to the living room, pulling his arm to have him follow along. They walked to the end of the room and stood by Bobby's desk.

"Tell me you have some good news," Dean asked.

"I have a plan to force the archangels to intervene and stop the apocalypse from occurring. If I remove both you and Sam as factors it may force their hand. Without Sam the demon will have to take more drastic measures to accomplish his goal, and without you the archangels may have to intervene before the demon's plans progress too far."

"Wait, remove us how?" Panic welled up inside Dean as he realized this angel may be there to simply smite him and Sam from the face of earth. He didn't have the first clue how he would stop him if he tried. 

"I will effectively make you invisible to them, then you must go into hiding. They have to believe that you have both disappeared if we are to have any chance of success. They must be convinced that even your bodies are gone entirely. You will have to stay hidden for quite some time."

Dean breathed a sigh of relief. He and Sam would live, at least for a while longer. He didn't like the idea of hiding, running away had never been his style, but he couldn't deny the appeal of having Sam to himself for a while. 

"What did you mean when you said without me? You still haven't told me how I fit into all this. Am I just supposed to convince Sam not to go darkside? Cuz if that's all it takes I can tell you right now that the apocalypse ain't happening," Dean said.

"As I have said, you are the only one that will be capable of stopping Sam should he fulfill his destiny. There is much more going on than his acceptance of his role. Sam may not be able to stop himself if led down this path. The archangels may also see fit to eliminate him at any point they decide to intervene. It's preferable that they believe he has already been removed."

"Goddamn right it's preferable. So what do you need us to do? Stay holed up here for a while?" Dean asked, knowing it couldn't be that easy.

"They will look for you here, you must stay extremely isolated. Have Sam join you when you are ready to be hidden, I will need to remove you immediately afterwards. Call for me when you are ready."

"Wait! How do I call you?"

"You need only pray for me." 

At those words Castiel was gone. Dean cursed at his sudden disappearance and walked back to where Sam and Bobby were watching from the doorway. 

"He left again? What'd he say?" Sam asked. 

Dean relayed the brief conversation to them, spending a little extra time to catch Bobby up on how Castiel had become involved. 

"Well get in here," Bobby said when Dean had finished, heading to his desk. "I've started to think that these demons may not even need Sam's consent. What Azazel's cookin' up might involve Lucifer himself."

Bobby picked up a book that had been lying open and handed it to Dean, who spent a few minutes going over the pages, clearly struggling to translate the Latin. 

"So they need a host?" Dean said, trailing off into his own thoughts.

"And not just any host, but one that's been bred for the part. And when I say bred I'm talkin' over hundreds of generations. Sam might be the only man on earth that can be a vessel for Lucifer."

They both looked to Sam, who had turned a ghostly shade of white. Dean reached out and took his hand, squeezing it in an effort to reassure. 

"Hey, you didn't choose this Sam. None of it matters, it doesn't change who you are one bit. You hear me?" Dean said.

Sam simply nodded that he'd heard, letting Dean hold his hand but not making an effort to return the grip, too lost in his own thoughts. Dean turned back to Bobby, deciding he'd keep working on Sam when they were alone. 

"So how am I supposed to stop this? Are you saying that at some point his... breeding... might take over and he won't listen to reason? It's got to be more than that. Why does Cas act like the archangels need me as much as Lucifer needs Sam?" 

"I don't know yet," Bobby said, "but there's mention in there of archangels having a counterpart to Lucifer's vessel on earth. Could be referring to you, Dean." 

Dean thought about that for a moment, finally deciding that didn't make sense at all. He wasn't exactly the sort of saint that angels would be relying on. "I don't know about that. Maybe once we're in hiding Cas can finally tell me where I fit in."

"I found something else too," Bobby said as he picked up another dusty book from his desk. "This symbol can prevent a demon from taking over a human body. It might not stop Lucifer himself but it'll sure as hell keep you boys from gettin' possessed. I figure if you wear this you it'll at least make 'em take you with a fight." 

Dean took that book and placed it on top of the one he was already holding. "Sweet, that’s a pretty rad design. Looks like we're getting matching tattoos Sammy! Helluva lot cooler than rings, huh!?" He froze after the words came out. Had he just proposed to his little brother? Well, yes and no. Sam and Bobby were just looking at him, so he decided to plow through. "I mean, you know, whatever. I say we get these inked asap. Then we can call Cas and get this over with."

"Yeah, okay Dean. I can do it for you myself if you like." Bobby said.

"Really?" Sam asked. Dean looked skeptically at Bobby.

"I've learned a thing or two over the years don't act so damned surprised. You boys look beat, get some rest and we'll do it tonight or tomorrow. I need to find my tattoo gear anyway."

"Food first, you got anything we could eat?" Dean asked.

"Course I do, y'all know where the kitchen is." With that Bobby walked out of the room. 

Dean handed Sam the books he was holding. "I'll make us lunch."

***

Sam sat at the dining table and started going over the first book Bobby had shown them. Excitement built up as he began reading what he hoped would be the key to who he really was. After several minutes of struggling with the overly figurative Latin text he stopped to rub his eyes and noticed a sandwich had been placed in front of him. Dean sat across from him, already working on the second half of his own sandwich.

"So you find anything interesting yet?" Dean asked.

"I can hardly make sense of it all. It's like reading riddles that are completely out of context." Sam picked up his sandwich and took a bite.

"Well you're the brains of this duo, I'm sure you'll figure it out." Dean took his last bite, licking mayo from his fingers in a way that was all too distracting to Sam. "I'm gonna take a nap, join me?"

"Yeah just let me try reading through this again first, I'll be in there in a few," Sam replied. 

"Suit yourself," Dean said and got up to leave the room, wiping his hands on his jeans as he left.

Sam spent the next hour reading through pages that were utterly confusing in their detailed descriptions and references. Nothing seemed to directly state anything, and he was beginning to be in awe at the fact that Bobby had pulled as much as he had out of it. Eyes heavy, Sam decided joining Dean in bed was far more appealing than another read through. 

He got up and headed to his old bedroom, locking the door behind him when he went in. He dropped his jeans and pulled off his shirt as he walked across the room and crawled in next to Dean, who made no sign of having had his sleep disturbed. Sam snuggled close and wrapped his arms around him, exhaustion taking over any other ideas he may have had as he drifted into a deep sleep.

***

Sam found himself standing in a large arena, ancient in design but newly constructed in appearance. His view ahead went dark until it finally engulfed him completely. A rapid series of panoramic images flashed before him, nauseating in their speed and intensity until they finally began to slow down. The images were of people and events, both unfamiliar to him. He began to realize that he was going back in time as they slowed enough to be comprehensible. The loop began again, this time he could see a blonde woman holding a baby, was almost certain it was his mother, Mary, but the image changed before he could be sure. 

More people and places, lives reduced to highlights being run in reverse. The timeline went further back in history, clothes and surroundings becoming more antiquated until he was looking at a simple village of thatch homes set into picturesque green hills. A beautiful woman with chestnut brown hair and hazel eyes was holding an infant, the man at her side literally glowing with magnificence, somehow both gigantic and the size of a man at the same time. 

He looked directly at Sam and smiled. "Ah, my son," He said as he reached forward. The skies behind him darkened and the man - being - jerked his head around. Turning back immediately, he grabbed the woman by his side and they vanished. A second later and the man was back, alone now. His face was a mask of fury, the flesh burning away as he turned once again to confront the coming maelstrom. 

A huge winged creature emerged from the disintegrated flesh, both fierce and beautiful and nearly blindingly white. It left the ground as it rushed away from Sam's perspective, the surrounding terrain falling away to reveal ethereal surroundings and an army of similar beings in the distance rushing towards him. Then Sam was being pulled - jerked - back into the darkness before he could make sense of it all.

***

Sam awoke, shooting upright in bed with a gasp, drenched in sweat. The room was well lit with what looked to be the late afternoon sun. He looked around to get his bearings, pulling the covers away to cool off. Dean stirred beside him and turned over, pulling Sam back down with an arm and bringing him close. 

Sam let Dean pull him in, waiting for him to comment on the sweat or time or anything, but Dean seemed too tired to notice or care. 

"Okay baby?" Dean murmured into Sam's ear.

"Yeah, go back to sleep."


	13. First Comes Love

The boys woke again around seven that evening, groggy and reluctant to move. Sam was the first to get up, leaving the room in a slow stumble to the bathroom. After relieving himself he went to the dining room to go over the texts again. There was an itch in his brain that he knew would only be scratched by those pages.  
When he made it to the table the books were not there. Figuring that Bobby must have put them away he headed to the living room, finding the man at his desk.

“You mind if I take another look at those books?”

“Sure, they’re right here.” Bobby said with a finger tap on them.

Sam picked them up and took them over to the couch. He opened the one he’d been reading earlier in the day that referred to Lucifer’s vessel, placing the bookmark in the back of the book. He was soon startled by how much everything made sense to him. The text now read like a fairly tale, meanings clicking into place as he began to read. 

***

Lucifer had enjoyed being God's greatest creation, the strongest and most beautiful of His archangels, until a new project had demanded all of God's attention. Biology, a simple set of rules set loose in an environment of matter, had become a game that God couldn't be pulled away from. As the possibilities grew, God put together mankind, a complex organism that was fragile and dependent completely on its environment. He created Adam and Eve, and waited to see what these new self aware beings would do if given free will. 

Lucifer became despondent. The other archangels were all too happy to have their father distracted and even happier to see Lucifer's ego deflated. They offered to let him join their ranks, but only if he acknowledged them as equals. Lucifer resisted joining his brothers to engage in idle distraction, and was even less interested in allowing them to think of him as anything less than superior. Instead, Lucifer began to watch the humans over time, wanting to see what could distract his father so completely. He soon became enraptured himself, and eventually had a plan to regain his fathers attention. 

Being of the same divinity, the angels could inhabit humans if given consent. It didn't take Lucifer long to gain such consent, showing the humans the wonders of the higher plane proved to be enough. Lucifer soon encountered a problem, however. These beings of matter were weak, their flesh unable to contain the power and energy of the archangel. Lucifer could sense varying degrees of strength and set off to find one that could contain him for more than a few days or months. 

His brothers began mocking him and crying to their father to punish Lucifer for destroying his creations. God simply turned a benevolent eye, pleased with Lucifer's interest and fascination, and set up an eternal paradise for his human souls. The other archangels were angered by what they saw as God's double standard and favoritism for Lucifer, as they'd all been banned from meddling on Earth.

Encouraged by his father's reaction, Lucifer found a human strong enough to inhabit for far longer than any before, a fierce warrior eager to take in the power of the heavens. Intoxicated by danger and sensations of the human experience, he had no intentions of ever returning to Heaven. Lucifer soon took a wife, forsaking his brothers completely along with his angelic form to indefinitely live on earth as a man. 

God did not approve of him forsaking his true form and commanded Lucifer back to the heavens. Lucifer refused, intoxicated by the concept of free will that was alien to the angels. If these simple beings could defy God and choose for themselves, he thought, then surely a being of his magnitude, second to only God himself, could exercise his own will as he so chose.

The final straw came when his wife birthed a child. The Nephilim had the immense power of an archangel locked into human form. Given guidance from Lucifer, the Nephilim would be able to exert his will on the material world around him as only the archangels themselves had been able to do previously. Lucifer thought God would be proud of this combination of His two creations, but God was furious.

The Nephilim was not a creation of God and therefore should not have ever existed. God demanded that Lucifer kill the child and resume his natural form and place in Heaven. Lucifer again refused, and God set the archangels upon him. Lucifer hid his wife and infant child away before returning to charge into battle against his brothers. Overcome, God had him dragged into the pits of the lowest plane, locked away from both Heaven and Earth for eternity. 

The archangels then set upon the earth to locate the Nephilim, but it was as if the infant had simply disappeared. God's attention moved on and Lucifer's blood line continued, each generation birthing the only human on earth capable of containing Lucifer. 

Lucifer soon found he was able to exert influence on the material world above, manipulating man's free will and twisting people's minds to turn against God himself. These souls he guided to his own lower plane, gleefully torturing them in an affront to God's work. God simply ignored him, allowing mankind to choose their own paths, further infuriating Lucifer.

As he sat in his own Hell, Lucifer planned for his inevitable return to Earth, knowing God would eventually shift his attention elsewhere when he tired of humanity.

***

Sam closed the book and sat it to the side. If the ancient story had truth buried in the tale then it only reasoned that he was that Nephilim's descendant. Lucifer would need his body if he was going to return to the Earth, and Castiel had seemed to confirm that God had moved on. As far as Sam knew there weren't any of his family line left, and given his relationship with Dean creating a next generation was unlikely. That would explain why everything had been set into motion now. 

Sam leaned back in the couch. He was strangely relieved by the revelation. Maybe he was distantly related to Lucifer himself, but if the book were true then that didn't make him evil at all. Lucifer didn't really sound all that unreasonable if he were being honest with himself. Being exiled to live out eternity alone would drive anyone mad eventually. Still didn't mean he was ready to give up his body, but at least he wasn't necessarily evil. Given the number of generations since then Sam didn't know how much power he'd really have to draw on, but he'd need to find out soon if they were going to stop Azazel.

There was still the issue of just how Azazel planned on getting Lucifer out of Hell in the first place. Nothing he'd read gave any indication of just how the demon was going to pull it off, but there had to be something Azazel knew that Sam didn't. They just needed that last piece to have a real chance. 

Sam opened the second book and began going over the symbol that would block possession. The design was fairly straightforward considering its power. Apparently the application was the key, requiring very specific ingredients for the ink and a specific chant at the beginning and end of applying it. He continued to read, the words flowing easily as if written in simple English. Some part of his mind had been unlocked and he wondered what else he'd be able to find out with his new found understanding. 

Satisfied that Bobby was indeed correct about the symbol and its effect, Sam continued reading through the book. He stopped when he came across the same symbol displayed over two figures standing face to face with joined hands. It was a marriage ritual, the symbol to ensure that each spouse remained with the person they wed. The ritual would prevent any demons from taking over one spouse and wrecking the union with violence and debauchery. It looked as if demonic possession was thought responsible for most marital problems when the book was written. Sam wondered if the ritual had fallen out of favor because of man's own inherent capacity for evil acts. 

Sam read on with increasing excitement. The symbols would have the same effect they needed but by including each other's blood and using the marriage chants the couple would be bound together at their very soul. It wasn't clear what that actually meant for the pair beyond stopping demons, but it did ensure that should the symbol fail or be compromised the spouse would immediately sense the demon within their partner. The possessed would also feel the strength and presence of their other half and could draw on that to expel the demon. 

Sam stood and took walked over to Bobby, placing the open book in front of him. 

"Aw hell, I knew you'd sniff that out." Bobby said, leaning back in his chair. "Before you go writin' your vows you need to understand that we don't know what kind of side effects a bond like this can have. The anti possession ritual is straightforward and is there to keep the demons out. You go messin' with each other's souls and you may not like the result."

"Bobby, this will only make us stronger. Dean and I will be able to draw on each other if we're caught alone! We'll know immediately if something gets past the symbol! They won't be able to use us against each other!" Sam knew he was too worked up, too excited about the idea of being married -bound- to Dean to make a rational argument. From the way Bobby was looking at him he was seeing right through it.

"Look son, you're still a kid. This ain't the kind of marriage you can just end in a divorce and walk away from. I know you love Dean but are you ready to make that decision for the rest of your life? Is he?" Bobby finished with a hard stare.

"I'm ready," Dean said from across the room. 

Sam and Bobby turned towards the voice at the same time. 

"Sam is the only thing in my life that makes sense. Ritual or no ritual, that's not ever gonna change." Dean advanced on Sam as he spoke. "If he wants to make it permanent then I'm all for it." He reached Sam and held one of his hands in his own. 

Sam turned back to Bobby. They were united in their decision now, Sam didn't see how Bobby could try to talk them out of it. 

"Oh balls." Bobby's tone admitted defeat. "You two idjits are really gonna go through with this aren't you? Do you even want to know what this means for you Dean, or are you ready to follow him down whatever rabbit hole he jumps into?"

"As long as we're in the same hole then it's alright by me," Dean said. Sam squeezed his hand, overwhelmed by emotion at the certainty Dean spoke with.

Bobby let out a long sigh. "Well then I guess we can do it tomorrow night. I'll need to make sure I have everything in the morning. You boys sleep on it and we'll decide which ritual to go with tomorrow."

"Our decision won't change," Sam said. He felt like a brat as soon as the words left his mouth, but was nevertheless glad he said them.

"We'll see, don't make this decision lightly. Now you two get out of here, I have work to do." 

With that they were dismissed, feeling about ten years younger than their true ages.

***

Dean decided he needed some fresh air so they went outside to take a walk. They stayed silent for a while, slowly walking shoulder to shoulder as they gazed at the evening sky. Everything felt right in the world for once, Dean thought. He never figured the moment he'd finally feel that way would be strolling through a salvage yard on the eve of marrying his little brother.

"What?" Sam asked as Dean laughed to himself.

"Nothin'." Dean answered, taking hold of Sam's hand. 

Nothing felt more right than being with Sam, and if he was going to tie the knot then his Sammy deserved the full experience. Well, they'd skip the white dress but he could at least try to make it special. Dean stopped, pulling Sam to face him, and dropped to one knee.

"Samuel Winchester, I have loved you every minute of your life, and will continue to for every minute of mine. Will you marry me?"

He looked up at Sam and kissed his hand. Sam pulled him back to his feet and into a kiss, his smile making it almost impossible to do any real kissing. 

"Is that a yes?" Dean asked.

"Of course it's a yes," Sam answered, resting his forehead on Dean's.

The boys jerked their heads to the side as the sound of clapping came out of the dark. Dean pulled his gun from the small of his back and aimed in the general direction of the sound. A few seconds later a man emerged, shorter than Sam or Dean and wearing a black suit.

"Congrats boys, I'm sure you'll make the old man proud," the man said with a British accent. "Name's Crowley, and you could say I'm the boss's right hand man."

"You have five seconds to crawl back to hell before I give you a face full of lead," Dean warned. The man stopped walking towards them about ten yards away, casually holding his hands out.

"Now now, no need for that Dean, I'm just here to give a message to that moose of yours. Azazel was not pleased that you managed to destroy one of his favorite minions, still not sure how you even managed it myself, but he's willing to forgive and forget. All you need to do is agree to come back with me. You have twenty four hours to come willingly or I will take you anyway and bring along Dean's pretty head as a souvenir."

"You can tell him to go fuck himself, Sam's not going anywhere," Dean said.

"I'll be sure to pass on the message. Twenty four hours." The demon said and stepped back into the darkness. 

"Come on," Dean said, pulling Sam with him as he headed back towards the house. "We need to do the ritual tonight so we can get the hell outta dodge before that asshole comes back tomorrow."

Sam remained silent as they went inside to find Bobby still at his desk. 

"Bobby, we need to do the ritual right now, it can't wait. We just ran into another one of Azazel's bitch boys outside."

"Are you two alright? What in the hell did it say?" Bobby asked, looking the boys over for any wounds.

"I have until tomorrow to leave with him. If I refuse they'll try to take me by force and kill Dean for good measure." Sam said the words distantly, mind seemingly elsewhere.

"Don't even think about it Sam, we're getting hitched then Cas will get us out of here. Bobby will need to stay holed up here for a while but they have no reason to stick around once we're gone."

"Yeah I know, don't worry Dean, I'm not going anywhere without you. So do you have everything you need to do it now Bobby?" Sam was still too much in his own head for Dean's liking, but he figured it wouldn't matter in a few hours. 

"Well lucky for you two I keep a well stocked pantry. Let me go get everything and we'll do it tonight." He got up to leave the room but stopped in front of the boys. "Are you both sure you want to go all the way with this? I can still just put the symbol on you and you'll be just as protected."

"Bobby, we want to do the marriage ritual." Sam said with a certainty that told Dean he was fully back in the moment. Bobby just sighed and continued his way out of the room. Once they were alone Dean pulled Sam close to him, kissing him long and slow until he felt Sam relax.

“It’s going be fine Sam, no one is taking you away from me and they’re sure as hell not about to hurt me. Even if they could they wouldn’t risk losing you for good. So relax baby, we’re about to get married then whisked away for a honeymoon somewhere, just the two of us.”

“Well when you put it that way,” Sam said and nuzzled Dean’s nose. They stayed that way for a while, only separating when they heard Bobby coming back down the hall. He came into the living room carrying a large box and set it down on his desk. 

"Y'all go ahead and get comfortable, it's gonna take me a while to get everything ready."

They sat on the couch together, Dean putting his left arm across the back and Sam leaning into Dean. After about ten minutes Dean became restless, patting Sam's shoulder to get him to sit up. He walked to their bedroom with Sam on his heels. Once there he stopped to look around, seeing it all in a new light now that it would soon be left behind. 

"Just started thinking of this as our room," He said to a silent Sam standing behind him. Sam walked a few steps and put his arm inside of Dean's.

"Whatever happens next doesn't matter because we'll be together."

"Yeah, I know," Dean said with a kiss to Sam's cheek. "Come on, at least you have a chance to pick out what you want to take this time. There must be some things here that you wished you'd had at Stanford."

Sam started looking around the room and in the closet while Dean sat on the end of the bed. 

***

It felt like it had been years since Sam left this room for Stanford. He slowly walked around, touching as he went, remembering living there while going to high school. He picked up his new bag and put it on the bed. He had plenty of room to add more stuff to it, the clothes Dean had bought only taking up less than half of the space inside. Opening the closet, Sam surveyed everything he'd left behind, and began packing his things. 

It wasn't long before Dean stood to help, opening drawers and holding things up to get a yes or no from Sam. Yes went on the bed, no went back where it came from or to a growing pile on the floor if Dean didn't like it. Sam stopped in his tracks when he saw Dean holding up a black Led Zeppelin shirt.

"This was one of my favorite shirts... I thought I'd lost it." Dean put the shirt down and reached back into the drawer, pulling out a gray t-shirt. "I used to sleep in this shirt, I thought I threw it out when it started falling apart..." 

Sam felt his face burn, mortification locking him into place. He had to get to Dean and close the drawer before he looked again, but his legs refused to move. Then it was too late, Dean had dropped the grey shirt on top of the black one and was already back in the drawer. Seconds later he pulled out a pair of red boxer briefs, holding them up and turning to Sam. His eyebrows were raised and jaw dropped in a gaping smile, unable to hide his shock and amusement from Sam. 

"Oh Sammy, you're a very bad boy. A sneaky, kinky, bad boy." Dean said, still holding the underwear up for display. Sam could see the slight discoloration of a come stain still visible in the crotch of them. He'd taken them a few years before, raging hormones (along with a raging hard on) making him throw caution to the wind. He'd watched Dean get out of bed that morning, could still clearly see him throwing the covers back and standing, mostly hard dick straining at the fabric. It was the large dark stain in the front that had made him nearly lose it right there. 

Dean hadn't noticed that Sam was awake and had walked to the bathroom in his normal morning routine. After showering, getting dressed and going to the kitchen to make breakfast Dean had finally given Sam his chance. Sam had rushed into the bathroom to find Dean's underwear on the floor where he always left them, snatched them up and gone back to bed. Once in bed he'd kept them balled in his hand, fear of being caught finally overriding the control his dick had taken. Deciding it was too risky to do anything with Dean home, he'd decided to hide them for later, but not before running his thumb through the wet spot and sucking off what he could get. 

The taste, the act, had been overwhelming, ripping a moan out of him while he came in his own underwear. Once the euphoria passed and he'd come back to his senses, Sam shoved the briefs under his mattress and went to take a shower. He spent the next several hours coming up with various reasons why Dean's underwear would be missing and had gathered all of the dirty clothes together for good measure, but Dean had never seemed to notice. 

Afterwards he'd always kept them, adding the grey shirt later, then Dean's favorite shirt once he'd planned to stay with Bobby. He'd left them in the drawer once he'd settled in at Bobby's, largely forgotten. Sometimes he'd sleep with Dean's shirt on his pillow when he'd been gone for a while, but he couldn't say why he'd held onto the boxer briefs. 

Sam was brought back to the moment as Dean lowered the underwear, holding them in one hand and walking to close and lock the bedroom door. Dean turned around and approached Sam, openly rubbing himself as he stepped closer. He stopped in front of Sam and held them up.

"You jack off with these Sammy?" He said in a low gravely voice.

"Yes," Sam whispered.

"Such a naughty boy. What are we gonna do about that?" Dean started unbuttoning Sam's pants as he spoke.

"I don't know." Sam replied. 

"I think I know." Dean said, letting Sam's jeans drop and pulling up his shirt.

"Dean, we can't. Bobby..."

"Shhhh, we'll just need to make sure we stay quiet." Dean raised the underwear to Sam's lips, balled up now, and pushed them against his mouth. Sam opened for him, taking the gag, and let Dean lay him on his back. Dean reached into his bag, also on the bed, and pulled out the small bottle of lube. 

Sam reached into his boxers and worked his balls over, afraid that touching his dick might make him come too soon. Having Dean's underwear shoved in his mouth was already nearly enough to send him over the edge, and he raised his legs in anticipation. Dean set the bottle down next to him and pulled Sam's boxers off, dropping them to the floor. Now completely exposed to Dean, Sam let him push his legs back. Sam held his legs for Dean as he unzipped and pulled his hard length free. Dean wasn't bothering to get naked, apparently too turned on to delay fucking Sam any longer. 

Dean stroked himself a few times, taking in the view of Sam laid out and waiting, then popped open the bottle. He slicked himself up first, then Sam, sparing little time to get him loosened up. After a few quick thrusts with two of his fingers Dean grabbed Sam by the top of his thighs and pulled him to the edge of the mattress. Once in position Dean pushed into him, letting out a long breath as he buried himself deep.

Sam moaned into his gag, thankful for its ability to keep him quiet. He let his eyes close as Dean stretched and filled him. He would never get used to the incredible feeling of having Dean inside of him. His hand strayed to his hard dick and Dean batted it away. Sam's eyes shot open and Dean gave him a stern shake of his head as he pulled back out. Sam understood, he was not to touch himself. Dean was in complete control and his dick surged repeatedly as he gave himself over to it. 

Dean quickly found his rhythm, fucking into Sam in shorter, lighter thrusts than he had before, undoubtedly to keep the bed from making too much noise. Sam grabbed the back of his thighs to keep from touching himself and watched Dean's lust filled face. It didn't take long before Dean slammed into him in a hard, deep final thrust, pulling him close as he came. Sam looked to Dean for permission to come, desperate to do so while Dean was still inside. Dean grabbed Sam's dick in silent reply, stroking him just a handful of times before Sam shot onto his chest and stomach. 

Dean pulled out and looked around the room, grabbing a couple of shirts from Sam's 'no' pile and tossing one to Sam. He crawled over Sam and pulled the impromptu gag out, kissing his lips once they were free. They cleaned themselves and wrapped the shirts into other clothes from the discard pile. Sam pulled his clothes back on as Dean laid on his back, breath returning to normal. 

Once dressed, Sam joined Dean on the bed, kissing his neck and jaw. 

"You got any other kinky little secrets just keep them to yourself until we're alone. I don't want to have to hold back so much next time." Dean turned his head and kissed Sam. They got off the bed and went back to packing, never straying more than a few feet from each other as they did. 

It wasn't long before Bobby was calling them from the living room. The boys took each other's hands before leaving the room. 

"You ready to be Mr. Winchester?" Dean asked.

"I already am, you dork."

"You ready to be Mr. Dean Winchester then?" Dean asked, expression showing he realized that that didn't make any more sense. 

"Good thing you're pretty," Sam said. "Come one, let's go get married."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback allows for the earth's rotation.


	14. The Commitment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story continues, sorry for the long delay.

Sam and Dean walked into Bobby's living room holding hands, Sam wearing a white button up shirt and Dean a black v-neck. They stopped in the middle of the room, unsure of where to go or exactly what to do next. The mantle was lined with candles that Sam was pretty sure had been lit more for ambiance than anything. He silently thanked Bobby and squeezed Dean's hand, drawing in a long breath. 

Bobby approached them with a knife, giving them a moment while they stared into each other's eyes. 

"You boys ready?" He asked.

"Yeah," they replied in unison.

"Well alright then, let's get a mov-"

Bobby's words were cut off by the sound of broken glass quickly followed by a blinding flash and deafening bang. Dean instinctively covered Sam's body with his own as Bobby took cover behind his desk. Dean's vision began to clear enough for him to see large hooks being tossed through the windows, the only sound a ringing in his ears. 

He stood, pulling Sam up with him and ran for the kitchen, decision made to escape out of the back door. He caught a glimpse of Bobby coming up from behind his desk with a large caliber rifle as he headed through the dining room. More large hooks had been thrown through that window as well and he was wondering just what the hell they were for as the sound of snapping wood made it through the ringing in his ears. He and Sam stopped just feet from the back door and stood dumbstruck as the front wall of the house was torn away.

"Well that's one way to get around the wards..." Sam murmured. 

Of course, Dean thought. Demons, and they were here for Sam. 

The sound of gunfire erupted from what was left of the living room as Bobby opened up on the tow trucks that had come to a stop in the yard. "Get out of here, now!" Bobby yelled, setting the two back into motion. They burst from the back door only to be stopped cold by Crowley's smiling face. 

"I'm afraid the honeymoon is going to have to wait boys. Moose has an appointment with the boss." He nodded toward them and four men approached, two with small black fabric bags. 

"Dean!" Sam called out, sensing as much as seeing Dean fling himself at the approaching men. Crowley rolled his eyes as he brought a gun to bear on them, and then Sam's world went dark.

***

The men split into two pairs, one covering each of the brother's heads with the bag and the other binding their wrists together. Once secured they were roughly thrown over shoulders and walked to the front of the house. Thrown in the back of a limousine, Crowley sat across from them with one large demon on either side, smiling as he reached for a bottle of champagne. 

"You two get comfy, we've got a bit of a drive ahead," Crowley said to the unconscious men as he filled a glass with the sparkling wine. Once full he handed the bottle to the grunt on his right side and settled into his seat. 

***  
Sam woke gradually, awareness creeping in along with the feeling that he was waking from a nightmare. He stretched out in the soft bed, the smooth sheets feeling luxurious against his skin. No, that couldn't be right. He couldn't remember ever being in a bed so comfortable before. 

He sat upright and surveyed the room. It was large and opulently furnished in the classic style of European royalty. He slowly got out of bed and walked towards the nearest door. Behind it was the bathroom, larger than any motel room he'd been in and just as lavish as the bedroom. The next door opened up to a huge closet full of clothes that at a glance looked to be Sam's size. That meant the last door would be the way out. He tentatively pushed the handle expecting it to be locked only to have it click open to reveal a relatively small sitting room. 

Sam glanced around the room but found no additional doors. Walking back to the bed he tried hard to focus on the last thing he could remember before waking but only managed to make his head hurt. He sat on the edge of the bed and looked around for a way out.

***

Dean slowly cracked his eyes open but was only met with more darkness. Darkness and pain. He tried to sit up, the movement causing his head to spin, and abandoned the attempt. He lay flat on the hard floor, concrete from the feel of it, and stared into the black. Breathing deeply, he began a mental check on his body. The sudden noise of metal on metal jolted him back to his surroundings as he was blinded by a blast of light. 

"He's awake," a man said, setting something down on the floor a foot from Dean's head. Dean heard a muffled response as the door screeched shut and he was once again in complete darkness. Before he could try to piece anything together the room was again awash in light with loud click. Tentatively opening his eyes, Dean was relieved to see that this light was much dimmer, coming from a single bulb hanging from the ceiling. A tray was on the floor nearby, holding a red solo cup of water, bowl of ravioli and a plastic wrapped spork and napkin. So he was a prisoner then. The food and water at least suggesting that his captors planned on keeping him alive and somewhat well for the time being. 

He struggled to remember how he got there and then it hit him. Demons. Sam. Demons had Sam and he was being caged until they decided what to do with him. Dean rose and took two steps to the steel door, knowing it was fruitless but trying to open it anyway.

"Hey! Hey open this door you sons of bitches!" Dean banged on the door for several minutes before finally sliding down to the floor. He grabbed the cup of water and downed it. They would be back eventually, and he was going to need to be ready for them.

***

Sam's headache had finally subsided and he'd found what had to be the door. It was fairly obvious once he'd really given the walls a good look and saw the outline. Unfortunately there was no opening it from inside the room. So he'd sat in a chair to wait. His thoughts centered on Dean and Bobby. He figured Dean was probably in a similar room driving himself crazy trying to find a way out. He refused to consider anything worse than that. He hoped Bobby was okay. If he made it to the safe room he should have had no problem waiting the demons out. Sam was subscribing to that theory, deciding that they would have left after securing him and Dean. 

A soft click brought him back to the moment as part of the wall opened into the room. Sam jumped to his feet at the sight of Azazel walking in, stopping short of charging him at the demon's raised hand. 

"Where's Dean!?" Sam shouted, all the fears of what could have happened crashing down on him. "If you hurt him I swear-"

"Tsk tsk Sammy, is that any way to greet your father?"

"You're not my father you demonic piece of shit!" Sam was thrust back into the chair by a wall of dark force.

"Watch your tongue Sammy or you might end up losing it." Azazel paused to allow his words to sink in. "Your pet is safe, for now. I have no intention of harming him. Unless of course you give me reason to," Azazel said with a widening grin that turned Sam's stomach. "You have been avoiding your responsibilities for far too long, like any teenager I suppose, but no longer. It is time to begin your training. Far too much has been invested for you to back out now when we're so close to the finish line."

"Fuck you and your plans, you can't make me play along." Sam resisted crossing his arms in a stereotype of the typical defiant teen. 

"Oh I think we both know that's not true. Dean will be beaten first, any minute now in fact. In half an hour we will start taking fingers. Half an hour after that and we take limbs. If you still refuse to cooperate two hours from now we'll let you watch us kill him, slowly of course. He'll be begging for death by then anyway."

Sam's heart sank from his chest. He couldn't let them torture Dean, would do anything to stop it. Azazel turned and walked to the door without another word.

"Wait!" Sam called out. The demon stopped, door halfway closed behind him. A few beats of silence passed and Azazel moved to continue walking out. "I'll do it, I'll help you, fulfill my role, whatever you want. Just swear you won't hurt him."

Azazel turned and took a step back into the room. "As I've said, I will keep my word. Cooperate and he will remain unharmed. Betray me, and Dean dies, slowly. You've made the right choice Sam. You'll see that in time." The demon smiled at Sam and turned once again to leave.

"I want to see him, bring him to me," Sam said.

Alistair paused in the doorway, seemingly considering Sam's words. "Not yet. You will have to earn that privilege. Prove your devotion and you will get your pet back." With that he left the room, the door closing and locking with a soft click.

"Wait! I said I would! Come back!"

***

Dean heard the men approach, heavy footed in the hallway beyond the walls. He waited as he heard keys, crouched to the right of where the door would open, tray clutched in his hands. It wasn't much but it was better than nothing. The door swung open and Dean sprung into motion, tray slicing through the air at the first man's neck. 

"Gah! Sonuva!" The guard, as Dean thought of him, toppled back out of the cell, arms swinging in a futile effort to balance his fall. Dean launched his shoulder into the man, sending him careening into the hallway. Before he could move on the second guard he was brought to his knees with a paralyzing jolt of current. The second guard had a taser jammed into his neck, his face twisted into a mask of hatred. 

"Down you go, whore," the guard said, keeping the taser connected to Dean's neck as he fell to the floor. 

The first guard recovered quickly, delivering a swift kick to Dean's side before dragging him back into the cell. "Oh you're gonna regret that buddy," he said, rubbing his throat with his left hand and loosening his belt with the right. 

"Hey, what're you doing?" The second guard asked, eyes pointing to the other man's now open pants. 

"Gonna make the whore pay for his little stunt. Why don't you get on the other end?"

"Boss said we can't fuck him," Guard Two said with a hushed hiss. "Beat him only, no fucking, remember?"

"I won't tell if you don't," Guard One said with a leer, letting his pants drop with outstretched hands.

"Hey fuck you, I'm not gettin' killed for a quick nut. You can kick his ass all over this room but that's it. He's the Antichrist's whore for fuck's sake!"

Dean was only vaguely following the conversation going on above him, but was pretty sure the men were arguing about raping him. He figured that was his queue to get the hell out of there. 

"Fine have it your way, pussy, but I'm getting first dibs on wrecking that pretty little face of his."

Dean had begun a slow crawl to freedom, muscles only partially cooperating as struggled to move. 

"Where do you think you're goin'? The fun is just gettin' started!" Guard One said, reaching down to pull Dean to his feet. Guard Two was smiling now, threat of certain doom having passed. "We're gonna have us a little party ya see? And you're the pinata!" The two guards laughed as they exchanged glances. Dean's strength was returning but he only managed to tense himself before the first blow fell. 

Guard One punched him in the gut quickly followed by a knee to his groin. Dean doubled over into the man as Guard Two stepped behind him to hold his arms in place and keep him upright. Guard Two paused for a moment to consider Dean's face, then reached back in an almost theatrical punch to Dean's left cheek. This was quickly followed up with a matching strike to Dean's right side, then an uppercut to his chin. 

"Alright boys, that's enough," a third person said. British. Crowley. "Sam has had a change of heart, all committed to the cause and what not. Leave him be."

The two guards looked at each other, unhappy that their fun was being ended far too soon. Guard Two dropped Dean and he collapsed to the floor. The two men walked out, leaving Crowley alone in the cell. 

"Did you hear that? Your Moose has agreed to join the King of Hell, disappointingly quickly might I add." Crowley squatted to the floor and leaned in close to Dean's ear. "But don't fret Dean, I'm not quite ready to see Azazel rule the world." 

Crowley stood and left. Dean was left in a whirlwind of pain, fear and confusion as those last words swirled around his head.


	15. Trials

Sam returned to his room mentally and physically exhausted. He'd spent the last two weeks training with Azazel. Training to tap into the well of supernatural power that Azazel was sure he possessed. So far all he'd done was fight, and run, and jump out of the way. Getting his ass kicked for three solid weeks had yet to make him break through into that supposed well of power, and at the current rate he would be dead long before he ever did.

He took off his clothes, stained in blood and sweat, and headed for the shower. Azazel had refused to let him see Dean, demanding some kind of progress from Sam first. He could be dead for all Sam knew, but something instinctively told him that that was not the case. So he kept training and fighting and praying to anyone who would listen. Prayed for help in accessing this power his blood contained, prayed for escape, prayed for Dean.

Thinking of Dean, he began stroking himself in the hot stream of water but had no reaction. Too exhausted to bother, Sam slumped against the wall. This is when the tears usually came. Shameful, weak sobs, but he couldn't manage that either anymore. Sam turned off the shower and dried himself before walking to the bed. Too tired to think he collapsed into the mattress, not bothering to get under the covers, and the world went dark.

***

Dean sat on the edge of his single bed, head in hands, and thought. All he could do was think, at least until he died of boredom. After the beating Crowley had him moved to a more comfortable room. Still a cell, he at least had a bed, shower, sink and toilet. And time. Lots and lots of time. He hadn't left the cell in the weeks since arriving. Was given three meals a day at loose intervals.

After his first week Crowley had paid him a visit. Dean had intended to ignore the limey bastard but couldn't pass up on a chance for socialization, even if it was with a demon. It had worked out too, Crowley must have noticed how bored he was, sending a small stack of car magazines (and one Busty Asian Beauties that he'd promptly discarded) with dinner that evening. What sweet distraction they had provided, but Dean had since virtually memorized each one and was back to being left with only his thoughts.

He heard the lock clatter open and jerked his head to watch the door. This would be dinner, running a little later than usual, although time was all relative at this point. Guard 6 (Dean had assigned a number to each of them, eight total so far) walked in with a tray, followed by Guard 4 carrying a small TV, then finally Crowley bringing up the rear.

"What's with the TV?" Dean asked, trying hard to feign disinterest.

"Consider it a reward," Crowley replied, "for your future cooperation." The two guards began hooking it up after placing the food and small screen on the lone table in the room.

"You might as well take that right back out of here if you think I'm cooperating with anything you got planned." Dean said with a snort.

"Out," Crowley commanded the guards and they immediately stopped what they were doing and left Dean alone with Crowley. "Now why don't you shut up and listen. I am the only one that can get you two idiots out of here."

"And why would you want to go and do that? I ain't stupid. You're not gonna trick me into helping you with your little master plan."

"Listen Dean, you know - that word that means no talking? Not everyone is excited about Azazel taking over up here. Many question whether he intends to release Lucifer at all. Think about it, once he has all the power what do you suppose he's going to do with your bigfoot?" Dean considered what Crowley said. "Right. So, being the business man that I am I see an opportunity in you and that sweet, sweet brother of yours."

"So you let us go and then what? How does that help you?" Dean asked,

"You and Moose back on the run will give me the distraction I need to consolidate my position. Many have already begun questioning old Yellow Eyes' confidence. Losing Sam again might just push the numbers in my favor. Moose will have to back me when the time comes, of course, but -"

Dean burst out laughing. "You want us to help you take over instead of Azazel? If you think we'd help any demon rule the world then you are stupider than you look." Dean continued to laugh, shaking his head.

"Who said anything about taking over? I simply want to rule Hell, there's no need to change the order of things. In fact, I quite like things the way they are. You help me defeat Azazel and everything goes back to the way it was. No Apocalypse. No Hell on Earth. You and Sam can live happily ever after, white picket fence and all."

"And I'm supposed to just take your word for it?" Dean asked, incredulous.

"I think you know once a deal is made I am bound to abide by it. Think about it, while you still have time. Baby brother's training has not been going so well. Azazel is beginning to lose his patience. I have a feeling things may be getting a lot less pleasant for you soon seeing as how you're the only thing that seems to get the him motivated."

"That son of a bitch better not lay a finger on Sam." Dean said to himself, mind reeling with ways he could kill the yellow eyed demon.

"I'd be more worried about myself if I were you. Sam's been treated like the king he is meant to be, for the most part. Champagne and caviar. Looking a little rough around the edges perhaps, but no worse for wear. You, on the other hand, may not fare so well. Moose needs a little extra push if he's going to access all of those juicy devilish powers." Crowley paused to consider the man before him and frowned. "As an act of good faith I'll give you a little warning. Tomorrow morning you will be taken down to watch the missus train. If he fails to use the force, and he will, you will be punished. Tortured, eventually, until Sam draws out his dormant darkness. Maybe they'll go easy on you the first day, or maybe Azazel will lose his temper and have them take a leg. Either way, not a good day for you." Crowley walked to the door and paused. "I'll take you there myself in the morning, you'll have to decide by then."

The door closed heavily and Dean was left feeling grateful for the time alone to think.

***

Sam awoke without the need for any alarm, robotically dressed and stood by the door to wait. Within minutes the door opened to reveal Azazel, tight lipped smile doing nothing to hide his impatience.

"Sammy! Good morning! Slept well I hope! Come on, let's get started, no time to waste!" Azazel turned to leave even as he spoke. Sam dutifully followed without a word, eyes cast to the floor.

Sam's mind remained blank as they made their way down the usual long, featureless hallway. Another day of fending off thrown objects and various attacks from men, demons and animals. Maybe today would be the day he died. That wouldn't be so bad, really. Sam had thought about escape early on, but with no idea of where Dean was being held he'd quickly buried those thoughts. He was going to have to keep digging deep to find this power he was supposed to have. Azazel had clearly lost his patience with him and Sam didn't want to think of what new trials the demon had in mind today.

They turned to enter what he'd come to think of as the Arena, Sam continued staring at the floor as they entered, knowing that nothing would happen until Azazel moved away and signaled the beginning of training. Azazel wasn't moving though, he was just standing there in front of him, so Sam looked up. His body turned to ice as he took in the room and its new... addition. At the back of the room stood two demons, and between them a man in a chair. Dean, in a wooden armchair. Sam _knew_ the two men were demons too, could sense it, like a pressure in the air. Could feel the malevolence coming off of them.

His heart raged as he took in the new sensation. Sam tried to manipulate the feeling, the pressure, but could only observe it, could only take note of its presence. Anger rose up to replace the whirlwind of emotions that the sight of Dean had set off. He was going to have to figure something out fast. Dean could only be here for one reason, to be used as a tool, and Sam did not like where that could lead one bit.

He clenched his fists and walked to the center of the open floor space, eyes focused straight ahead. At least Azazel wouldn't get the pleasure of seeing how much Dean's being there had shaken him. On some silent queue Sam was rushed from either side. A dog to his left, non-demon thug coming in on his right. Sam dropped into a squat before springing at the dog, grabbing its neck and launching it at his other attacker. Taking advantage of the brief distraction Sam kicked out the legs of the man, grabbing him by the face as he fell, and used the man's momentum to snap his neck. Before he could turn around the dog resumed its attack, sinking teeth into flesh. Sam methodically grabbed the animal and lifted it into the air, wrenching it free of his leg, and slammed it into the floor, cracking its skull in the process.

Sam stood and resumed his place in the center of the room, eyes locked just above Dean. He tried not to notice the look of shock on his brother's face. The sound of Azazel's clapping hands brought a welcome distraction.

"Very good, very good. You truly excel at hand to hand combat, my young prince, but have yet to use any of your other gifts. Perhaps I've been using the wrong methods, direct attacks don't seem to be... doing the trick. Defending yourself must be second nature to you, after all. " Azazel nodded in the direction of Dean and the two men moved towards him, one behind and one to Dean's left. "Your passion lies in saving people, rescuing them," Azazel said, mocking Sam with his tone. "Perhaps rescuing your pet will prove to be more effective."

"Leave Dean out of this! I'm doing what you asked, you said you wouldn't hurt him!"

"Yes, well, you aren't fulfilling your terms of our agreement either, are you?" With that Azazel nodded at the men again, smile spreading across his face.

The man to Dean's side turned and punched him across his left cheek. Dean's head slumped down after the blow but was raised by the man behind him. Blood drooled from his mouth as he struggled against his restraints.

"Don't worry Sammy, you tell that sorry sack of shit to go fuck himself!" Dean yelled, voice full of false bravado.

Sam stood firmly in place, looking from Dean to Azazel and back, mind racing to figure a way out of their current mess.

"Ahh Deano, such fire! I expected you to take a punch like a champ, it must be routine for you by now! Runs in the family I guess. So let's try something you aren't quite so accustomed to." Azazel turned to watch Sam, yellow eyes glistening, as the man to Dean's side loosened his belt and began to open his pants.

"No," Sam said, almost a whisper. Dean turned his head away from the man, mouth clenched shut as his pants dropped to the floor. His jaw was grabbed from behind, thumbs jammed into his cheeks in an attempt to force his mouth open. The man moved in closer as the other forced his head down. Pressure was building within Sam as he willed the scene in front of him to end. The man turned to smile at him as he moved his erection to Dean's face, the one behind struggling to force Dean's head lower.

"NO!" Sam's eyes closed as he screamed the word, felt the ground shake beneath his feet. He opened them to see the two men, both dead bodies, Azazel and Dean pinned against the walls of the Arena. He held himself still, unbreathing as he explored what he was feeling. The air around him had substance, was an extension of himself in some way. He could feel the confines of the walls, then Azazel, exerting considerable force of his own. Then the two demons, their will almost comically weak against the force of Sam's. Finally, he could sense Dean. He'd missed it at first, the feeling so different from the others.

The pressure from Azazel grew dramatically, causing a stabbing pain in Sam's head. He fought against it, pushing back through the blinding pain, losing himself as a rush of energy flooded every cell of his body.

***

Dean could only watch as Sam stood there, slowly looking around the room. The weight holding him in place made it difficult to breathe. He glanced over to Azazel, whose triumphant expression was slowly changing to something else. Sam's head dropped and he began to raise his hands, stretched them out at his sides. Something was happening between him and Azazel, and the demon was beginning to look furious.

Azazel struggled to step off of the wall, making it several inches before being slammed back against it. Dean looked back to Sam just as his eyes opened, revealing deep wells of solid black.

"Sam! No, you gotta stop this, fight it Sam!" Dean screamed, the weight on his chest causing his voice to strain. Sam looked to him, then to the men on either side. Both men flattened against the wall in a wet crunch. Before Dean could begin to process what had just happened he was released from the wall. He tried to jump from the chair only to find that he was still tied to it. All he could do was watch.

Black smoke was escaping the heaps on either side of him but Sam didn't seem to notice, all attention now on Azazel who continued to struggle against the wall. Dean could see blood dripping from Sam's nose and left ear and a wave of fear released him from his shock.

"Sammy, listen to me. You have to fight this, you can't let it take over. Sam! Are you listening to me? Stop it, it's not worth becoming one of them! Sammy!"

Sam ignored him as the invisible struggle continued between him and Azazel. Finally the demon's head jerked back and smoke poured from his mouth, disappearing in seconds. Sam collapsed to the floor in a lifeless heap. Dean could only watch helplessly , unsure if his brother was alive or dead.

After several excruciating minutes Sam began to stir. Dean let out a breath he'd been holding for what felt like hours, relief poured through is body.

"Sam, Sammy, wake up. Come on, you gotta wake up and get me out of this chair." Dean started rocking back and forth, making as much noise as possible. "Sam! Come on baby, wake up!" Dean lost his balance and fell to on his side, breaking the arm of the chair and freeing his own arm in the process. He hurried to untie his other arm, then his legs and scurried to his brother.

"Come on Sammy, up you go." Dean struggled to pull Sam upright. Slowly, Sam began to steady himself. "We gotta go, now Sam!" Dean began pulling him to the exit, hope settling in with his various other feelings. "Shit," the door was locked. "Sam, I need to let go of you so I can get this door open, are you okay to stand?"

Sam looked at the door and it was blown from the frame.

"Whoa! No more of tha-" Dean was cut off by the sight of two guards running into the room, no doubt drawn by the immense power struggle that had just ended. Before he could say anything else the guards were slammed against the wall, crushed flat, before sliding into a heap. "Dammit Sammy! No more flattening people!" He grabbed Sam by the arm and pulled him into the hall. Sam was recovering more quickly and soon they were running together. Dean had no idea where they were going but decided they just needed to keep moving. Eventually there had to be an exit out of there.

They turned a corner only to be confronted by two more demons that looked just as surprised to see the Winchesters. "Sa-" Before Dean could say his name the two men exploded, painting the hall, and the brothers, in red. "Goddammit Sam! I told you not to do that!"

"You told me not to flatten them," Sam said, no trace of humor in his tone. So he wasn't all there yet, just great.

"No more powers Sam, you hear me?"

"Not sure I can control it Dean, it feels... like a reflex."

"Just try, okay baby, just try. Come on." Dean pulled Sam forward again. A door was ahead, just maybe the exit.

"Hold on you two," Crowley called from behind.

"Sam, breathe, think about - about sunshine and kittens. No more blowing people up." Dean had both hands on Sam's shoulders as he tried to keep him focused. Crowley held his palms out as he started slowly backing away.

"Blowing people up?" Crowley asked.

"Yeah, you might want to get the hell outta here before you're next," Dean warned.

"We have a deal, remember Dean?"

"Yeah well, we didn't exactly need your help to escape, did we? But I'll tell you what, you show us the way out of here and I'll keep Sammy here from painting the walls with you."

Crowley seemed to think about that for a moment before reaching the obvious conclusion. "Very well, follow me."

The brothers followed him through the building, stopping when Crowley stopped before a heavy iron door.

"Last stop, through that door is freedom." Crowley waved his hand and several locks slid and clanked open. "Now, if you'll excuse me." The demon performed a quick bow and hurried back in the direction they'd come.

Dean opened the heavy door and pulled Sam along with him into the sunlight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback, as always, is very appreciated.


	16. Homecoming

The brothers stumbled out of the building together and into the blinding light of day. Dean kept them moving in the general direction of away until his eyes adjusted and he could look around. They were in a large gravel lot, the imposing concrete building they'd just left several feet behind. They looked to be surrounded by a chain link fence with razor wire along the top. There was a gate off to the right, about a hundred yards by Dean's estimation. He pulled Sam along towards it, hoping that just maybe it would not be locked.

That hope was dashed when Dean began to clearly make out a large chain and padlock. He quietly cursed to himself, slowing them down as he thought of a next step. Sam's head rose, eyes locking on the chained gate. "No-" Before Dean could finish the word the gate was blown open, both halves landing on the other side of the road beyond the fence. Dean just shook his head and pulled Sam along again. He had to pull his brother out of this, out of the cesspool of darkness he was lost in, but that came second to getting them the hell out of there first.

Stumbling into the road Dean scanned the trees that lined the opposite side for any sign of demons. "Cas! Castiel!" He turned to the sky while calling for the angel, their only salvation from this place. "Cas-"

"I'm here, Dean."

Dean spun to see Cas standing behind them. "You have to get us out of here right now Cas!"

The angel stepped forward without replying and put a hand on each of their shoulders. His left hand recoiled from Sam as if he'd just been burned. Turning to Dean with a panicked expression, the man and angel disappeared.

***

Sam collapsed onto the road. He was alone now, alone with the darkness that surged and pulled, threatened and promised. Dean had left him here, had run, had left with the blinding heat that was the angel, and Sam couldn't really blame him. The darkness seized on the opportunity his doubts presented, flooding him with rage and pain that was not his own.

"Noooo!" Sam yelled. His fist slammed into asphalt, shattering the road and snapping surrounding trees. Curling into a fetal position, he struggled to hold on.

***

Dean found himself looking at Castiel in Bobby's salvage yard. He spun around but Sam was nowhere in sight. "Where's Sam!?"

"That was not Sam, I'm sorry Dean."

"Dammit Cas, take me back. take me back and get Sam out of there right now!" Dean looked at the angel with the promise of violence in his eye.

"Dean, whatever that was it was not your brother. I ca-"

Dean grabbed the angel by the throat, anger and panic replacing any sense and rationality he had left. "That is Sam back there, he may not be the same Sam you saw last but it's him. You're gonna take me back there to him right now or I swear to God I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make you pay."

There was a flicker and Dean was no longer in Bobby's yard. At first he didn't think Cas had taken him back, the area being already unfamiliar thanks to a circle of destruction surrounding them. He moved Cas out of his way, revealing Sam curled on his side in the crumbled road. Dean rushed to his brother's side, dropping to his knees and brushing the hair from his face. "Sam? Sammy baby, you alright?" Sam stirred, as if he was having a bad dream, so Dean began to lightly slap his cheek. "Come on Sammy, wake up. Wake up for me, we gotta get out of here, okay?"

Sam flinched at the light slaps before opening his jet black eyes. The sight sent Dean's heart dropping in his chest, but he refused to let it slow him down. He pulled Sam to his feet, putting his arm around his shoulder and walked him towards Cas. The angel was backing away at the sight of Sam, and Dean realized that he might just leave them there if he didn't start talking. "He's not possessed, I know what it looks like but just trust me. Can you do that, Cas?"

The angel looked back and forth between the brothers, obviously debating whether or not to take Dean's word or believe what he was seeing and feeling from Sam. Dean turned to his brother and cupped his cheek. Sam instinctively turned and Dean kissed him, slowly and deeply. Sam opened his eyes and they were hazel once again. "Sam?" Dean said. Castiel approached the boys and grabbed their shoulders.

***

They were back in Bobby's yard, all three of them this time. Dean grabbed Castiel by the shoulder and leaned in close. "Thank you, Cas." He turned back to Sam and started walking him towards Bobby's house. After making sure Sam had his footing he looked up and stopped again. Bobby's house was clearly under reconstruction, the front framed out and covered with tarp, just waiting for siding to be installed. To the left of it Bobby was emerging from an old Winnebago, concern and relief painted on his face.

"Well hot damn boys you made it back!" Bobby said as he approached them.

"Hey Bobby," Dean said, not moving to leave Sam's side but not sure where to take him either.

"Go on inside," Bobby said, moving to Sam's other side. "May not look it yet but the house is almost done. You boys can get settled into your room and rest for a while." Bobby stopped after they climbed the few steps onto his porch. Before he could open the front door for them it was blasted from the door frame, landing several feet inside the house.

"Dammit Sammy stop doing that!" Dean hissed in Sam's ear.

"I'm sorry, I - I didn't mean to." Sam said in a daze. "i don't like... doors."

Bobby was staring at the two as if one of them had grown another head. "It's alright Bobby, Sam's just having trouble with his new... ability." Dean tried to make it sound as normal as possible, as if Sam had just broken something while trying to juggle. "He's not possessed Bobby, I swear. It's Sam, just with some extra mojo. We're gonna get him sorted out after he has some time to rest." Bobby looked at them both then to Castiel.

"Cas?" Bobby asked, decided to let the angel rule on this one.

"It is Sam, there is not a demon inside of him," Castiel said. "There is something, different, but that's also always been part of his soul. But Sam is there, in control, if only just."

Bobby moved from the doorway, accepting Castiel's word for now.

"I need to get him in the shower, then put him to bed for a while." Dean said as he took Sam inside. Bobby walked ahead of them to the hall bathroom. Dean could hear the water turning on and thanked God that they had Bobby. He didn't want to think about where they'd have ended up without him.

Dean sat Sam on the toilet and shut the bathroom door. He then raised Sam's arms to remove his shirt. Standing him back up Dean pulled his pants down then his underwear and moved him into the shower. Sam melted into Dean's touch as he was washed and rinsed. Dean checked over every inch of his baby brother, lightly brushing scars and bruises, each one accompanied by a silent curse to see Azazel dead. He got down to the dog bite on Sam's calf, carefully washing the dried blood away. The area washed clean to reveal a soft pink scar, already closed and healing. So these new powers had some benefits at least.

Once satisfied that Sam was in good shape, at least physically, Dean quickly washed himself and then turned the shower off. He dried them next, then walked Sam to their bedroom, unchanged from how they'd left it. He laid Sam on his back and crawled in beside him, pulling him close and kissing Sam's neck.

"Dean, I missed you so much." Sam mumbled.

"Missed you too baby, try to get some sleep," Dean replied, punctuating his words with a kiss. "I'm gonna get you something to eat." Dean pulled away but didn't get far before he found himself crushed against Sam's side. "Sammy," Dean groaned. "Sammy, let up, you're crushing me." The pressure immediately let off and Dean took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I would never hurt you Dean, just don't want you to go." Sam said, voice full of sadness.

"It's okay just... work on controlling it. I'll be right back, I promise." Dean got up and left the room, gently closing the door behind him. Bobby was waiting in the hall, a million questions displayed in his expression. Dean walked past him. They could talk in the kitchen while he made Sam something to eat. Dean made it to the refrigerator and found some lunch meat and cheese. Sandwiches would do just fine.

"What the hell is going on with your brother!?" Bobby said, trying to keep his voice down but failing miserably.

"I don't know, exactly. Azazel spent the last few weeks trying to make him go darkside and something finally snapped in him."

"Are you telling me that the boy is full on demon spawn now? That that yellow eyed son of a bitch turned him??" Bobby asked, eyes wide.

"No! Does Sam have superpowers now? Yes. Did he turn all Darth Vader? No. He damn near killed yellow eyes as soon as he had his power. He either blew up or flattened every demon we came across while not even so much as putting a scratch on me. He's still Sam, just... supercharged. I just have to help him push it all back down."

"It may not be that easy Dean," Castiel said. "This is not something that was forced into Sam, it is a part of him, part of his very existence."

"He went this long without knowing it was there, he can go back to living without it." Dean's tone ended the discussion, at least for the moment. Sandwiches made, he poured two glasses of water and tried to carry everything back to the room. Bobby took the waters and nodded for him to go ahead. Dean placed the food and glasses on the nightstand by Sam and turned to silently thank Bobby before closing and locking the door. Finally alone with Sam, he took his clothes off and crawled back into bed. Dean was sure Sam would be sleeping so he was surprised when he turned and pulled Dean in close.

"I want you Dean," Sam said, almost begging. "I need to feel you inside me."

"Baby, believe me when I say I want to but I don't think right now is the best time. You need to try and sleep." Dean tried to disentangle himself as he spoke.

"I need you Dean, need something to focus on, need to focus on you. I'm drowning. It's pulling me in, I don't know how much longer I can fight it on my own."

Dean thought fast. He didn't feel right about having sex with Sam in his current condition, but he knew he couldn't refuse him, especially if it was really what Sam needed right then. He leaned in and kissed Sam deeply, with all the emotion he felt. Sam relaxed under him, sinking into the bed, giving himself over to him. Dean sat up and gently turned Sam over onto his stomach, leaning down to kiss him again. With no lube he was going to have to work up enough spit to not hurt Sam. He leaned back on his knees, positioned himself over Sam's thighs, pooling saliva in his hand and worked it in between his cheeks. He was rewarded with a long moan as Sam pushed back on his fingers.

"Shhhhh, that's right baby. You sure you want this right now?" Dean asked, the excitement of being with Sam after so long starting to take over.

"Yes, yes Dean. Please, fuck me now. Need you so bad. Need to feel you."

"Yeah baby?" Dean pulled his hand back and spit on it again, slicked himself up and positioned his dick against Sam's ass. "This what you want?" Dean pushed in slowly at first, the heat of Sam searing him and destroying any restraint he had so far managed. Sam gasped and stretched his arms above his head. Dean tried to ignore the fact that he was being pulled in even without doing any pushing of his own. So Dean fucked him hard, making up for the last few weeks of going without. Reminding Sam that no matter how powerful he was he still belonged to Dean.

***

He stepped into the RV and sat down with a sigh. "Well, they're home, thank God. Dean looks good, Sam not so much, but that boy will get him through it."

"When can I see them?" John asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your feedback really keeps me motivated!


	17. Reunion

Dean knew he wasn't going to last long. Didn't matter that this was the third time in an hour he and Sam had gone at it. They had weeks to make up for, and going without for that long had left Dean with the stamina of a fifteen year old. Sam was using his power to pull Dean into him harder than Dean's own thrusting, and he couldn't bring himself to tell Sam to stop. Not when it felt like this. Sam tightened around his dick and Dean lost it, ramming himself into Sam hard as he let loose what little fluid he had left. Sam grabbed himself and came instantaneously, coming down as Dean collapsed on top of him. 

"Fuck, Sammy. Just, Fuck," Dean said between breaths. 

"Yeah," Sam replied.

Dean pushed himself up with his hands to take in Sam's smiling face. This was the most normal Sam had looked since escaping Azazel. Dean saw no trace of the Sam that struggled to control the dark power that had overwhelmed him. He mentally congratulated himself and the healing powers of his cock before leaning down to pepper Sam's face with kisses. 

***

Bobby sat in the RV across from John, two beers on the small table between them. John stood and looked down at him. "They're my boys Bobby, you can't stop me from going in there and seeing them. Especially after what they've just been through." John made to walk out of the Winnebago. 

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, John," Bobby said, eyes focused somewhere outside the window. 

"And what are you gonna do to stop me?" John asked.

"I'm not aimin' to stop you, but you go in there right now and you're not gonna like what you hear, not to mention what you might see." Bobby gave John a pointed look and waited for his words to sink in. John seemed to finally get it, rubbing a hand over his face and slowly sitting back down across from Bobby. 

"Jesus Christ," John muttered. 

"It is what it is John. You don't have to like it, but if you want your boys back in your life you're gonna have to accept it."

John scoffed at that. "Accept it. Accept that my two boys are..." John slammed his fist on the flimsy table. 

"I'm not having you run them off. This is my home, and if you can't control your temper with them then you can drive off into the sunset for all I care. They've been through too much to add you on top of it." Bobby got up to leave. "You stay put for now. I'll tell the boys that you're out here after they've had time to settle in, it'll be up to them what they do with that information. If I catch you walking in my house before then I'm liable to shoot you." He walked out, leaving John alone in the RV. 

Bobby walked back in the house to find Castiel standing in front of the broken door. He'd propped it up next to the doorway, but made no other apparent progress to put it back on. Bobby shook his head, muttering "idjit" before leaving again to get his tools. 

***

Sam stared at the ceiling listening to Dean softly snoring next to him. He couldn't stop smiling. Didn't want to. Just twenty four hours earlier he had been ready to die in the Arena. Then he saw Dean and everything had changed. He was finally getting a handle on his new power. Instead of it being an ocean that threatened to consume him it was now a deep well. He still had to learn finesse but was already able to draw only what he needed at any given moment. There was a coldness inside that he couldn't shake, but he chose not to dwell too much on it. 

Instead, he chose to dwell on the fact that they were free of Azazel's clutches. He had not only escaped, but nearly killed the demon in the process. He could feel it, feel Azazel's very soul overheating. Felt the anger turn to fear just before the demon smoked out. He'd have to work on stopping that next time. 

Sam's stomach growled. Based on the lack of sunlight in the windows he figured it must be time for dinner. He glanced over at the sandwiches that were left untouched on the bedside table and thought about eating one, decided against it when he considered how long they had been sitting out. Instead, he rolled onto his side and nuzzled Dean's neck. "Deeeeean." Kiss. "Deeeean, wake up," Sam whispered softly into Dean's ear, kissing his earlobe between each word. "Wake up Dean, I'm starving." Dean turned his head away, mumbling something Sam couldn't make out but was sure was some form of 'go away.' 

Sam tested his control by using his power to caress Dean between his legs. Dean shot upright in bed, looking at Sam like he'd just punched him in his balls. Yeah, Sam thought, need to work on that finesse.

"What the fuck Sammy?!" Dean said. 

"Sorry! I tried to be gentle." Sam held his hands up, unsuccessfully tried to suppress his laughter. 

"Did you just use your power on my nuts?!"

"Maybe?"

"No, you are not to use it anymore, period. Especially not to kick me in the balls." Dean said, rubbing himself carefully.

"I'm learning how to control it Dean. With enough practice-"

"No, Sam. No practicing. You push that shit back down until you forget it's even there. You mess with that kind of power and before you know it you'll be one of them." Dean's tone was final, but Sam wasn't letting it go that easily.

"What do you mean, 'one of them'?" Sam asked. 

"I don't mean it like that, I know you'd never turn. Willingly. But it's way too soon to know what the hell messing with that stuff could lead to."

"This is a huge opportunity for us! We can defeat Azazel! I almost killed him back there! I gotta use this until him and all his minions are destroyed. Until Hell itself is destroyed! We can't just hide and let him figure out how to bring on the Apocalypse without me!"

"Sammy," Dean said softly, "I couldn't take it if you turned into one of those things. You didn't see yourself back there, your eyes were black, you were killing people without a second thought."

"Demons Dean, not people. I can learn to control this, I already have. It's not going to take me over. Not with you by my side. Especially not after the marriage ritual. We do that and you'll be able to feel it for yourself." Dean remained silent, Sam figured that was progress. "Just trust me on this, please." Sam pleaded. 

"No powers before we get hitched. After that we can talk about it."

"Fine," Sam said, popping out of bed and grabbing some clothes. "Come on, let's take a shower then eat something. I'm famished." Sam left Dean in bed and started the shower. He rushed to get clean, unable to remember ever being so hungry. Dean came in as he was finishing drying, hair plastered to one side, one eye half closed. Sam laughed and kissed his cheek on the way out. He passed Cas on the way to the kitchen, standing oddly still staring at the door that was propped against the wall for some reason. Oh yeah, he'd done that. He'd have to fix that after he ate. 

"Hey Cas, you hungry?" Sam asked.

"No, thank you Sam."

"Do you eat?"

"I can, but I don't have any need to." Cas said, joining Sam in the kitchen.

"Hm," Sam thought little of it as he looked for something to make. He found spaghetti and a jar of sauce, it would do. He filled a large pot with water and a smaller one with the sauce. "So, how come you couldn't bust us out of there? You're an angel, right? Demons must not be much of a challenge?"

"Normally, no. The place you were being held in was covered in wards that hid your presence from me. They also prevented me from entering the compound. I was only able to hear Dean when he had made it beyond the perimeter" 

"So, you guys can be warded against too, huh?" Dean asked as he walked in, hair still wet and pointing in all directions. "Well that sucks."

"It does suck." Cas said.

Dean laughed at Castiel's matter of fact tone and began surveying the pots on the stove. Sam was busy buttering some bread to go in the oven. The boys finished preparing dinner in companionable silence, the dance of plating and setting the table as familiar as ever. Sam attempted small talk with Cas but quickly abandoned the effort. Dean was no help, too busy stuffing his face with pasta. After cleaning up they moved to the living room, passing Bobby on the way.

"Let me do that," Sam said. Bobby was busy removing the old door frame that Sam had torn apart. "Only right that I fix it."

"Be my guest," Bobby said, dropping his tool belt. "The new frame is just outside on the porch. You boys make dinner?" The question was barely out of his mouth before Bobby was in the kitchen.

"Yeah," Sam said. "Spaghetti is in the fridge, should still be warm though." He turned back to the door and got to work.

***

The four of them were relaxing in the living room sharing a bottle of whiskey. Cas held onto the first glass he had been given, volume of whiskey unchanged. Sam had repaired the front door with some help from Dean. Then the brothers had relayed the previous few weeks to Bobby, being careful to explain that Sam's new demonic power did not in fact make him a demon. Bobby had remained skeptical, but was accepting what they said for now. Cas wasn't ready to give any kind of definitive opinion on the matter, seeming more confused than anyone, but did at least maintain that Sam was not possessed. 

"So Bobby, we still want to go through with the marriage ritual, now more than ever." Sam said. "Especially now, actually." 

"Are you sure you ought to do that? We don't know what kind of effect your blood could have on Dean. Or if the ritual will even work on you. I think we need to hold off until understand a little more about what's happening to you, Sam." 

"It's not just about the ritual working," Dean said. "We want to be married, and this is about the only way it's going to happen anytime soon. If the ritual works then it's just icing on the cake." 

"Suit yourselves, I never could stop you boys from being reckless. I need to tell you something first though. Your daddy is outside in the RV. I've told him to keep his distance while y'all... rest up and what not. You can talk to him or I can send him on his way, up to you."

Sam and Dean looked at each other, an entire conversation taking place without a word. "He wants to see Sam too?" Dean asked. 

"He does, says he needs to make amends for what he's done. He loves you both, just needed some time to deal with your relationship. It can't be an easy thing, seeing your two boys together like that, even if you ain't blood. Now, you didn't ask for my opinion but I'm gonna give it to you anyway. Whatever you think about what he's done he's still your father. Give him a chance to say his piece, if you still don't want anything to do with him then you'll have no regrets." 

Dean looked to Sam who nodded back at him. "Alright," Dean said.

"I'll go get him."

***

Bobby walked past John and took his usual seat in the RV. "They agreed to see you, so you better not screw this up."

"I just want to talk to them, tell them I'm sorry. I need them back in my life Bobby." 

"I know, just watch that damn tongue of yours. There's something they're stuck on doing that you ain't gonna like one bit, but you'll have to go along with it." Bobby said.

"Christ what now Bobby? I don't see how things could get any worse."

"They've asked me to perform a marriage ritual on them, and I've agreed to do it."

"For fuck's sake Bobby! What do you mean you've agreed to do it? They're too young to decide something like that! Once this ridiculous phase ends they'll be left feeling like complete idiots." John braced himself on the wall of the RV and Bobby thought for a second that he might have just given the man a heart attack. 

"Calm down! It ain't legal marriage. Besides, they're both adults now and I'm not so sure this is a phase. It ain't like the boys just met." Bobby said. He decided it best to leave out the purpose of the particular ritual the boys wanted to perform.

"Oh God Bobby, do I really have to be a part of this?" John asked.

"You do if you want your boys back."

John slumped down on the small sofa. Bobby figured he should give the man some time to digest everything. The more John thought it through now the smoother things would go with Sam and Dean. 

"Alright. I'll go along with whatever. Sam is too stubborn to listen to anything I have to say about him and Dean anyway, and his brother - Dean - is going to make sure Sam gets what he wants in the end. I don't know if I can support this, hell, I know I can't, but I'll try and keep my mouth shut. If they want me to stand there and bear witness then I'll do that too."

Bobby wasn't too sure it would be that easy for John when the time came but figured that was the best they were going to get for the time being. "Okay then, go talk to your boys." 

***

Sam stayed on the couch after Bobby left, Dean's hand holding his tightly. There were about a thousand things he almost said to Dean, but they ended up waiting together in silence. Finally the front door opened and John walked in, stopping just a few feet inside. His eyes darted to their hands, still held together, then back up to their faces. Sam loosened his grip to let go but Dean held on tight. 

"Sam, Dean." John said."I missed you boys, especially you Sam. It's been too long."

Sam stood, taking a few steps towards his father. John immediately closed the distance and pulled Sam into a strong embrace. "I'm sorry son, I'm sorry. You'll always be my boy. No matter what Sam, you hear me?"

Sam nodded into the crook of John's neck, tears falling freely down his face. 

"I love you son. Do you think you can you forgive me? Can you do that for me son?" John's own eyes were heavy with tears. Sam nodded again into his shoulder, unable to speak. John looked to Dean who was clearly struggling to contain his own emotions. John held out his right arm, "Come here son." Dean fell into his open arm but pushed back before John could hold him in place. 

"Now wait a minute dad," Dean said. "Are you telling us that you're okay with me and Sam?"

"I'm telling you that I love both of my sons, alright? No matter what. That'll have to be enough for now."

Dean nodded and returned John's embrace. It would be plenty for now, Sam thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the feedback, it has been so motivating!


	18. I Thee Wed

Sam and Dean stood holding hands trying to ignore the sense of deja vu. Their blood was dripping into an old wooden bowl that Bobby held. It wouldn't take much, and after several seconds Bobby walked back to his desk. They stared into each other's eyes while Bobby finished preparing for the ritual. Dean saw John stand up in his peripheral vision, mutter 'Christ', and walk out the front door. Well, no surprise there, Dean thought, at least the old man lasted that long. 

After their reunion with John Sam had insisted on starting the marriage ritual as soon as possible. Understandable, given the interruption the last time they had tried. So Bobby brought out a box containing everything from before, Dean had started clearing some space in the living room and Sam had set out as many candles as he could find. John had taken a seat at the dining room table, seemingly resigned to let things play out. Then Bobby had gone over the details - and unknown consequences - of what they were about to do, destroying John's ability to stay silent.

John refused to accept that his boys wanted to go so far as to bind their very souls together. Told them they were as crazy as they were stupid, asked if they were literally trying to kill him right there on the spot. It had looked as if John's head might actually explode before Bobby took him outside and calmed him down. Dean had held onto Sam throughout their father's meltdown, Sam using every ounce of energy to keep his feelings from causing power to lash out at their father. John and Bobby had returned several minutes later, John appearing much more calm. He didn't look at the boys when he sat back down at the table.

Dean had not expected John to be able to deal with things when it came down to it, but he worried that Sam had actually hoped he might. So he held Sam tightly again as the front door slammed behind their father, looking into his eyes with the conviction that true love gave. Cas reappeared in the living room, having gone missing during John's episode. "Would it be alright if I watched? I've never observed this ritual in person. I find what you are attempting to do very interesting"

"Sure, Cas," Dean said.

Awash in soft candle light, Dean couldn't believe how stunning Sam looked. He literally felt like he was made for him in that moment. His thoughts began to wander as he imagined how much better the sex would be with their new connection. Would he feel what Sam was feeling on top of his own passion? The thought brought at twitch from his groin and a smile to his face.

"What?" Sam asked.

"Nuthin," Dean said, leaning in for a kiss.

"Alright, save it for the honeymoon" Bobby said, looking up from his desk. "Who wants to go first?" 

"I will," Sam replied. 

"Okay, you two sit on the edge of the sofa, keep at least one hand together at all times until we're done." Bobby wheeled his desk chair around to the couch, bowl of the black, blood based ink in his lap, needle made from sharpened bone in his right hand. "Now Dean, you'll say your vow as soon as I start on Sam, once your line is done it'll be Sam's turn, then I'll say my part and I'll finish the tattoo, you two will have to wait until I'm done. I'll start on Dean next and the vows will be reversed. Got it?"

"Yeah," the brothers said in unison. 

"Will it mess anything up if we say some words of our own?" Sam asked.

"I couldn't tell ya, but I think it better if you wait until after we're done, just to be safe." Bobby said.

The boys nodded that they understood and Bobby leaned in and began. "Per amorem adiuro sanguinem meum, nunc animaa mea turbata est vestrum" Dean said.

"Accipio amorem, nos unum sumus." Sam replied. 

"Et sic factum est," Bobby finished. 

***

The Winchester boys sat back on the couch shirtless, matching tattoos and hands bandaged up. Dean was trying to concentrate on feeling Sam, but so far couldn't really pinpoint any change. 

"You feel anything?" Sam asked.

"No, nothing yet," Dean answered.

"Yeah, me either. Maybe it didn't work." Sam said. 

"The ritual worked as intended," Cas said. "Your souls are now joined, there is a strong bond tethering your souls together."

Sam turned to Dean with a huge smile. "So why don't we feel it?" Dean asked.

"I suspect for the same reason you don't usually feel your own soul. I think you will feel each other in times of heightened emotion."

"Hm," Dean said, slapping Sam's knee and immediately regretting it as the pain in his palm surged. 

"There's something I need to do for you both now," Cas said.

"Aw shucks Cas, a wedding gift?" Dean teased. 

"I guess you could say that. I need to do something in order to hide you from both heaven and hell. Afterwards you can safely live a quiet life together if you choose. Or if you continue to fight Azazel it will be much more difficult for him to find you. Either way it's still necessary to hide you from both sides of the imminent war."

" Ah right, you're gonna make us invisible. Sounds peachy, Sam?" Dean asked.

"Yeah, sounds good, let's do it."

Cas approached the brothers and knelt down between them, placing a hand on each of their chests. "This may hurt a little."

Dean's chest felt as if it had burst into flames. He tightened every muscle in his body, had just made the decision to kick Castiel away from them both when the pain suddenly stopped. 

"There," Cas said. "The Enochian symbols etched on your ribs will hide you from both demons and angels, but remember that it will also hide you from me." Cas opened his hand to reveal a simple, small round metal pendant with a single symbol on it. "This will allow me to find you." He handed it to Dean. "You can still call on me, but without this it will take me much longer to find you." 

Dean held the pendant up for inspection. "Angel GPS. Wow, thanks Cas. This means a lot to us, really." Dean said. 

"Yeah, thanks," Sam echoed. 

Cas stood, "It is necessary. Do you know what you plan to do yet? I cannot promise that if you choose to avoid further involvement you won't be pulled back in at some point."

"We're going to fight," Sam said. "I can stop this now, I have to."

"Damn right," Dean said. "But we need to get out of here first, we can't put Bobby in danger again. And we need time to come up with a plan."

"I think it's a little late for me to back out now boys," Bobby said. "You can stay here until we're ready to strike back. We've been beefing up the defenses around here since you two were taken. It'l be a hell of a lot harder for them to get past the iron gate next time."

"Plus I can feel them now, Dean," Sam said. "I can sense a demon from a mile away. We'll be ready for them next time."

"Sam, being here kind of defeats the purpose of the whole invisibility thing." Dean said. 

"I'm not saying we stay for good, but we need to take time to understand exactly what Azazel is planning next. We can't do that without Bobby."

"Great, it's settled then," Bobby said. "You boys will stay put until we're ready to kick some ass."

"You can take the RV," John said from the doorway. No one had heard him come back in. "It'll give you boys some privacy. I can move into the house. It doesn't look like much but it's warded against demons, and there are plenty of weapons inside."

Dean wasn't crazy about the idea of living in a Winnebago, but not having to worry about making too much noise in Bobby's old house more than made up for the tight quarters. "Alright, we'll stay for now. Cas, try to get on the angel radio and see what you can find out. They must have noticed the nuclear bomb of dark energy that Sam released. Bobby, you and I will work on our plan of attack. Sammy can hit the books to find out more about what we're dealing with."

"I'll get in touch with some of my contacts, see if they've heard anything from any talkative demons." John said.

"I need to work on controlling it," Sam said. Nobody needed to ask what 'it' was. "Then all we need to do is find Azazel. None of that other stuff matters." Dean didn't like it but he'd agreed to let Sam experiment with his abilities after they were married. 

"Fine, but we're-"

"Wait! Something's coming, I can feel it," Sam interrupted. "It's coming towards the gate... I think... I have him, just one demon." 

Bobby and John each grabbed a shotgun, while Dean rushed to the door. He had a pretty good idea of who this demon would turn out to be. He raced to the front gate, the other three men close behind, slowing as he approached the figure ahead. "Can you tell your missus to put me down please?" Crowley said. He was hovering in the air, spread eagle and nearly upside down. Before Dean could reply Crowley was slammed face first into the iron gate. 

"What are you doin' here Crowley?" Dean asked. Sam held the demon in place.

"We have some unfinished business." Crowley said.

"What's he talking about Dean?" Sam asked.

"He offered to help us escape before you turned all superman. Said he and some friends were looking to turn on Azazel, he'd get us out of there if we helped him take over."

"Well what a shock, demons with no loyalty," Bobby said, voice dripping with sarcasm. 

"Can you put me down, please." Crowley asked, spitting out the last word.

"And you trusted him?" Sam asked. 

"Of course not! Really, Sam?" Dean was disgusted by the accusation. "Put him down, he can't do anything to us from there anyway. I don't trust him, but he came here for a reason. Might as well hear what it is."

Sam dropped Crowley into a pile on the ground. The demon stood up and brushed himself off, displeasure plastered on his face. "After Moose got in touch with his inner demon the rank and file started asking themselves why they should follow Azazel at all. Everyone felt your power, Sam. You are the Antichrist, there's no doubt about that now. Soon Azazel's army will revolt and he'll be on the run. We need to strike now, together, before he has a chance to regain control."

"Okay, first of all Sammy isn't the Antichrist. Secondly, what do you mean 'we'?" Dean asked. "There ain't no 'we' that includes you. We'll deal with Azazel on our own, then Sam can get back to normal. From where I'm standin' it doesn't look like we need you or any demon army to make that happen. Also, I don't seem to remember needing your help to escape after all."

"He is the Antichrist, Dean, and I think he already knows it too, don't you Sam? You can feel the inevitability of it. I feel it too, you know. We all can. You are the one, Sam." Crowley looked at the younger Winchester with grudging respect as he spoke. "And if I hadn't shown you the way out you two would still be wandering through the halls!"

"That's bullshit, I know it and Sam knows it." Dean couldn't shake an uneasiness he felt in his gut, a twisting tug he wasn't familiar with. "Why don't you send him on his way. Sam?" He turned to his big, younger brother, his eyes deep pools of jet black. "Sam! Goddammit. Snap out of it!" Dean moved face to face with Sam. "You hear me? Sammy, come on!"

Bobby shoved Dean out of his way and slapped Sam's face hard. Sam's eyes blinked several times and returned back to their usual hazel. 

"Lucifer..." Castiel whispered. "It can't be..."

"Lucifer's heir, but close enough," Crowley corrected. "Sam can draw power directly from his old man, still trapped in the deepest pit of Hell. You can be King, Sam. Think of it. Rule the world how you see fit, let Lucifer take the war to the angels while you and hubby lord over the Earth."

"That's enough! Sam, get rid of him." Dean nodded to Crowley and stomped back to the house. He turned to see Crowley yanked into the air and flung into the distance. Demon or not, that was gonna hurt, he thought. Sam turned to follow him with Cas, John and Bobby stayed behind.

***

Bobby heard the front door slam shut and turned to Cas. "What the hell just happened? And what did you mean by Lucifer?"

"I sensed it in Sam the first time I was called to them, the ancient power and hatred that we all last felt from our brother before he was banished. I... panicked, and brought Dean back alone. When we went back for him it was Sam that I felt, mostly, as if there were much more of him pervading the area. I thought I had been mistaken, until now." Castiel looked between the two men. "Crowley was correct. I don't know how it's possible but that was Lucifer I was sensing just now, but also Sam at the same time."

"So you're telling us that Sam's tapped into the devil himself?" Bobby asked, eyes bulging in disbelief. 

"Yes and no. There is no direct connection, Lucifer cannot control Sam and Sam cannot himself free Lucifer, but my brother can attempt to corrupt him. Sam is Lucifer's offspring. It's long been thought that he never actually had a child, or that it would have not survived long as the unholy product of mankind and angel. But why? Why would God allow it?" Castiel's eyes began to glow a soft blue as he tried to understand. If an angel was having that much trouble with it Bobby figured he couldn't begin to wrap his mind around what was going on. 

"If Sam is the goddamn Devi's great grandchild... then that demon was right. Sam is the Antichrist. We don't have a choice, we have to kill him." Bobby said, his voice dropping off to a near whisper with the last few words. 

"No Bobby, there has to be another way." John said. "If there's one thing I'm more certain of now than ever it's that that boy doesn't have an evil bone in his body. There has to be another way."

"Sam may not have to be destroyed," Cas said. "Lucifer was not evil when he conceived Sam's ancestor. His jealousy and hatred of God and humanity has twisted him over the millennia, but Sam himself is simply descended from a very powerful angel. Lucifer will undoubtedly try to turn him, but Sam's soul is not dark."

John pulled Cas into a bear hug, leaving the angel with a look of mild confusion. "Mary was right, she new he was good. She knew it." John let go with a smile on his face and turned to Bobby. "All we have to do is keep Sam safe, and Dean and I have been doing that all his life."

"Well I know a little about that too, but anything can happen John. We have to be ready no matter what we feel for your boy." Bobby said. He slapped John on the back and the three walked back to the house. 

***

Dean slammed the door and grabbed Sam by the arm. "What happened back there? Your eyes were completely black, what the hell was goin' on?"

"I don't know. One minute Crowley was talking and then I just... I don't know, felt everything around me. Felt every molecule..." Sam drifted off, still trying to himself grasp what had just happened. "I felt powerful... like a god, Dean."

"Get a hold of yourself Sam!" Dean grabbed him by the shoulders. "What do you think is goin' through their minds out there, huh? Crowley just accused you of literally being descended from the devil himself, and Cas as much as confirmed it. We gotta get your shit together and go, now!" Dean pulled Sam to their bedroom, closed Sam's bag and tossed it to him before grabbing his own. They were still mostly packed from the night he and Sam had been taken. "Come on, we gotta move."

"Wait, why are we leaving?" Sam's head was clearing up and he'd just noticed that he was holding a packed bag. Where was Dean trying to go?

Dean turned and grabbed Sam's bicep, hurting him with the tight grip. "Because, Sam, I don't know where their minds are going right now. Hell, even Bobby might make a move if he really thinks you're the Antichrist, not to mention Cas! Now move your ass!" Dean headed to the door dragging Sam along by the arm. Sam heard footsteps on the front porch and was promptly yanked in another direction. "Fuck, back door," Dean said. 

Dean took them outside through the kitchen, quietly closing the door behind him. "Stay close and don't make a sound." Sam followed Dean as instructed, stopping when he peeked around the corner, running when he made a dash for the Impala. The familiar smell of the car surrounded Sam, felt right even as something about what they were doing felt wrong. Dean started his baby and hit the gas. "If Cas was telling the truth about the marks then we're home free."

Dean's words were far away, so Sam grabbed hold of his hand. Dean pulled him down into his lap and, with a sigh, Sam let exhaustion take over.


	19. Standing Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After some extensive editing, the story continues.

The boys barely made it out of the lot before Cas appeared in the back seat.

 "Dean, where are you going?" Dean jumped at the words that came seemingly out of nowhere.

  "Dammit Cas! Outta the car, now!" Dean pulled his gun out of his belt for all the good it would do.

"I will leave you be if that's what you want, but I thought you were staying at Bobby's until we had a plan."

"Well the plan's changed. I can't trust what he might do after that little chat with Crowley, you either for that matter." Dean said.

"You have nothing to fear from-"

"Oh no," Sam interrupted, jolting up from his slumber.

"They're here," Castiel said.

"Who's here?" Dean asked.

"Demons," Sam replied.

"Which ones? Azazel? Crowley?"

"All of them," Cas said, and was gone.

"Stop the car Dean," Sam commanded. 

Dean slammed on the brakes and ducked his head down to get a look at the growing orange glow on the horizon. Cas reappeared in the rearview mirror.

"Azazel is leading his army. He must have determined it was best to strike now while he still has control. Crowley is at his side."

"So much for his mutiny," Dean sneered.

"I need to get you both far away from here," Cas put a hand on each of the brother's shoulders. After a few seconds Dean turned to face him.

"Any day now Cas," he said.

"I'm... trying."

"We're not leaving," Sam said, his eyes jet black.

"Try harder Cas!" Dean practically screamed it in the angel's face. Then Cas was gone. "Sammy?" Dean said, turning to his brother. "Don't do this, you're not ready to take them all on yet. Listen to me Sam!"

"This is my fight Dean. Not his and not yours. I need you to stay here." Sam opened the door and stood by the car, surveying the coming firestorm. Dean made to get out but his door didn't budge. He scrambled across to Sam's side but the door slammed shut before he could make it.

"Dammit Sam! I'm not staying in this car while you go get yourself killed!" Dean furiously tried the door handle before resorting to bashing the window. It didn't budge either.

Sam slowly walked forward, stopping roughly fifty feet in front of the Impala. The firestorm was only about a hundred yards away now.

 

***

 

Sam stood and took in the scene before him. Thousands of demons marched forward in haphazard fashion, looking like one giant, seething organism. They were shirtless and filthy, most wearing nothing but tattered shorts, many wearing nothing at all. Sam felt the vast pool of vile hatred, giving him a much better sense of what he was dealing with. Over them all was Azazel, hovering in the air. The group came to a halt still tens of yards away.

"Ahhh Sammy, can you feel it? Feel the power coursing through us? Intoxicating, isn't it?"

"You made a big mistake coming here, demon." Sam said.

"Ohhh Sammy, can't we still be friends?" 

"I'm gonna kill you, Azazel," Sam answered.

"Do you think I'm afraid of you dear boy? Do you think because you caught me by surprise that you can smite me just like that? Come now. It's not too late for you to take your place by my side. We can rule the world together! You, me, your whore brother!" Sneers and laughter erupted from the mass of demons. "And our holy father, Lucifer. You'll lead a charmed life!"

Sam was barely listening, focusing most of his attention to feeling out the massive pool of power in front of him, probing for weakness and gauging its strength. He knew he could defeat Azazel, but the demon seemed to have brought the entirety of hell along with him.

"Or, I kill you both here and now," Azazel said.

Sam looked up at Azazel. He figured he could float too if he really wanted to but trying it now would only prove to be a distraction. Besides, he had nothing more to prove. "I'm stronger than you. I can feel it, same as you can." Sam pushed Azazel back to make his point. Then the front lines of the Army stumbled backwards. Sam wanted to be sure the foot soldiers got the point as well. Azazel didn't try to resist.

"Perhaps. Perhaps, but are you stronger than me, and all of them?" Azazel swept his arms wide, encompassing the army below.

"Are you sure you're ready to find out?" Sam said, unmoved. He pulled back, focused on himself and the Impala. He could feel Azazel's patience wear thin.

"Okay, the better question is, can you fight me, all of them,  _and_ protect dear Dean?" Azazel's voice twisted into the hate filled roar of true evil. The army moved forward as one, closing the distance almost instantly as they sprang forward with superhuman speed. 

Sam enclosed Azazel with crushing force but had to let up before destroying him completely. The wave of demons demanded too much of his power and Azazel slipped free of his hold. With a thought Sam blasted a hundred foot hole in the sea of bodies that descended upon him, but the flood continued unabated. Sam surrounded himself and the car in wall of hellfire, killing demons by the hundreds as they threw themselves into it. In mere moments demons were beginning to break through, throwing themselves into openings left by those destroyed before them. Sam struggled to keep up but they started pouring in, first a few at a time that Sam easily destroyed, then too many to keep track of.

The ones that got through were not coming for him but ran for the Impala, for Dean. Sam needed a new strategy if he was going to keep him alive. Blood pouring from his nose and ears, Sam pushed back with all the force he could muster. In the second it bought him the fire was gone, replaced by a simple wall of power around him and the car. The sudden lack of hellfire only encouraged the demon legions and they pushed back on Sam as one. 

He was surrounded by thousands of bodies, pushing in faster than he could hold them out. More of his energy was being used to keep Dean safe as well. The Impala was completely covered in a mass of demons fighting to destroy the barrier he fought to hold in place. A scream ripped from his lungs as the mountain of bodies was blasted away from the car, only to be replaced with new ones seconds later. He wasn't going to be able to hold on much longer.

"It's no use Sammy!" Azazel roared from above. "You won't be able hold them off forever! Dean's not getting out of this one alive!" 

Sam was beginning to be cut off from Dean, demons jumping on top of others to get at Sam and strike at his power. He could only feel Dean and the Impala now, felt the weight of evil weakening his hold. If it were only him he knew he could win this, but protecting Dean and himself was proving to be more than he could bear. 

"That's right Sammy, it's no use," Azazel whispered as if right in his ear. "You have to let Dean go to defeat me. Or you can join me and end all of this. Keep Dean forever."

Sam's power waned as his doubts grew. No longer was he able to destroy demons but could now only hold them back, and even that was becoming more of a struggle. 

"Yes, you know it's true. This is your destiny Sammy, it's what you were born to do. Stop fighting it. If God himself doesn't care about the world THEN WHY SHOULD YOU!?"

Sam fell to one knee. The demon throng was only inches away from making contact with him now. He felt the windows of the Impala shatter as his protective envelope shrank around Dean. This was it. He was going to lose him forever. 

"Okay," Sam barely made any sound at all, but in an instant the demons fell back and the power surrounding him receding. 

"That's my boy," Azazel said, now standing next to Sam's huddled body.

"Dean..." Blood gurgled from Sam's mouth as he fought to speak. 

"Deano's right in the car where you left him. I'll make sure he has a good seat to watch the apocalypse. And one day, perhaps after many thousands of years, Lucifer will grow tired of the sins of the flesh and you'll have your body back. Of course your lusty brother will be long dead by then, but if he works hard he may make a great demon out of himself."

"No..." 

"Now, time to get grampa out of jail. You're gonna make a fine vessel Sammy, just fine." The earth below their feet fell away and the two men dropped into the depths.

 

***

 


	20. Descent

Dean could hardly understand what was happening while he watched Sam fall into the earth. The battle had torn him apart from the inside out, left him helpless while Sam fought for his - their - lives. Feeling Sam's strength and power had overwhelmed all of his senses, had left him riding the most extreme roller coaster. As Sam's strength had slowly been overcome Dean remained utterly lost in the sensation. Now that Sam's presence was rapidly receding Dean's head began to clear enough for him to think. The link. He had felt Sam's power and it left him with the feeling of having just been dropped out of a tornado. Now there was just grief and a profound sense of loneliness. That would be Sam too, and Dean couldn't stand the thought of his brother feeling like that.

Dean gathered his thoughts and tried to separate his own feelings from what he was getting from his connection with Sam. This thing works both ways, he thought, just need to get a handle on it. Need to give Sam the power of everything he felt for him. Dean's eyes squeezed shut and he thought about Sam, thought about everything they'd been through, everything that they meant to each other, and his heart exploded. Emotion, love, flooded every fiber of his being, radiated in all directions. He didn't know how to aim it at his brother but he was sure Sam would feel it. Feel everything. Dean felt electric, more alive than he could remember ever feeling. He felt powerful.

Dean opened his eyes and was in the air, several feet above the tree line. Below him was the Impala, or what was left of it after an apparent explosion. Pieces were still landing around him. Everything had a ethereal quality to it, a shine, an aura, and in the ground ahead was a fiery vortex. The hole that he'd just watched his brother descend into. "Sam," he said to himself. Is this how his brother saw the world when he was tapped into that dark energy? Is this how powerful he felt? Instead of sending his brother anything he must be drawing immensely from Sam, he thought. Well if he couldn't push anything back to him then he'd use what he was getting now.

Without thinking - about how he was staying in the air, what he was seeing differently, or what lie beyond the maelstrom below - Dean dove to the ground, to Sam.

***

Sam was being led deeper into what could only be described as hell, farther away from the physical world with every passing second. Ahead, Azazel was speaking but Sam wasn't listening. He had failed. Failed himself, failed the world. Failed Dean. Nothing mattered now. Dean, the word simply meant loss now. Sorrow. As he said it he felt a pang in his chest, felt dormant energy he hadn't noticed before fade away. Felt the power pulled from him like taffy. 

"Perk up Moose," a familiar voice beside him said. "I don't hear any fat ladies singing yet."

Sam didn't listen. Soon he would be trapped in his own body and simply watch the world burn. He was a vessel, a vehicle, an armored shell. Trading his life for Dean had been easy. Trading the world for him had proved no harder of a decision to make. 

"At last, it's time to set daddy free!" Azazel's voice was thunderous. Sam focused on his surroundings for the first time since leaving the material world. They'd come to a stop and now he was standing in cavernous surroundings, or something close to it. Nothing really added up, equated to what space, time, matter were in the real world. He was awash in reds and oranges, the ground below was throbbing as if it were alive, squirming beneath his feet. He noticed his left arm was being held by someone or something, Crowley, he realized, and ahead was Azazel. Just beyond him lie a complete absence of light, a black hole that existed and didn't. Now that it had his attention it pulled on Sam, called to him, blocked everything else out. And yes, that's it, he thought. That's what I'm here for. 

"Come, Sam. It's time to serve your purpose. It's time to serve your king," Azazel said with a sickening grin stretched grotesquely across his face. Sam hardly noticed though. The void was whispering to him, calling him, congratulating him. 

Azazel gave Crowley a look of impatience that was answered by Sam being pulled forward. As they approached yellow eyes Crowley angled Sam into the demon's arms, circling behind Azazel as he let go of Sam. 

"Now, go." Azazel swept his right arm out in a gesture towards the black void. Sam stumbled towards it. Yes, he thought, that's where I must go. There was no question now. Only an angel or the Lord himself could pass through the void. He understood. Understood everything. Sam was truly the vessel that would allow Lucifer to escape. Nephilim, angel of the earth, able to exist equally in both worlds. Sam would walk in and Lucifer would walk out.

"Wait Sam," It was Crowley's voice but it barely registered it or the sudden movement from its source. He continued his slow stumble to the void.

***

Dean raced into the depths, falling mostly but was sure he was making himself go faster than gravity alone. He was getting a new sensation from Sam, something - hopelessness? acceptance? - deeply disturbing that urged him on. Finally the smoke and fire swept away and a hellscape opened before him. He felt Sam and something else too, two dark pressure points around the fading light of his brother, but beyond that something much larger and indescribable. 

He could make out Azazel and Crowley now. Of course that limey bastard was supporting his boss again, Dean thought. Azazel was giving Sam a push towards the black void and Dean's scream was caught in his throat as he watched Crowley bury an unusual knife into Azazel's back. Azazel's body was rapidly consumed by fire, cutting off a demonic roar as his flesh and bones turned to ash. Okay, he thought, maybe Crowley wasn't so bad after all. 

"Sam, stop!" Crowley yelled, snapping Dean out of his brief shock at watching him dispatch Azazel. Sam was walking into the void, ignoring Crowley and reaching his hand out as he approached it. Dean raced towards Sam, watching his fingertips disappear into the blackness. 

"Sammy!" Dean screamed with a power that reverberated throughout the depths of hell. Sam stopped, turned to look at Dean, recognition in his eyes. 

"Dean? What are-" Sam was yanked into the black hole to his shoulder. "Dean?" Confusion on Sam's face. Another pull and now only his other shoulder was free. Dean reached Sam's remaining free hand and held onto it as Sam was pulled in to his elbow, only half his arm left visible. 

"AAAAHHH" Dean cried out as he pulled on Sam with everything he had. "I am NOT losing you!" Dean pulled with everything he had, with everything he was drawing from Sam, kept pulling until Sam began to emerge at last from the darkness. Finally Sam tumbled into him and they crashed to the sticky, throbbing ground. 

"Sammy!? Sam!? Are you-" Dean scrambled to his brother's side, hands assessing him for damage before cupping his face. Sam stared blankly ahead before slowly standing. Dean caught sight of Crowley falling to his knees from the corner of his eye. 

"Sam!" Dean said.

"King," Crowley whispered, lowering himself to a position of worship.


	21. Clutch

"Where is my army?" Sam said it, but the voice was not his own.

"No," Dean whispered. He felt as if an iceberg had been lodged in his chest. Sam's warmth was gone, replaced by a crushing weight and cold that was making it difficult to breathe, difficult to move. 

"Your army awaits, my king. They are already gathered on the surface, ready for you to lead them." Crowley spoke into the writhing ground.

"Very good," Lucifer said and Sam began walking towards Crowley. "Rise," He said to Crowley. Crowley rose but stayed bent at the waist. "Take me to them."

"Sam!" Dean forced himself up and stumbled to his brother's side grabbing his arm. "Sammy, can you hear me!?" Sam's arm flung Dean away as if he weighed nothing at all. Then Sam stopped and shook his head. 

"No..." Sam said, and it was actually Sam this time. Dean felt a wrenching in his chest, as if the iceberg were spinning and lurching in his body. Sam was still in there, struggling for control. Dean had to find a way to reach him, help him expel the devil himself. On all fours, he screamed, pushed with everything he had to force the cold out of his being, push it out and follow it back to Sam.

***

Dean looked around his familiar surroundings. He'd been here before, had lived here with Sam and his dad a few years back. He was in a living room, Total Recall was playing on the old tube TV. On the battered coffee table sat a half eaten bowl of mac and cheese.

"This was the first time I realized how beautiful you are," Sam said from behind him. "We were sitting on the couch and you grabbed some of my food. I watched you suck your fingers clean, watched your perfect mouth." Sam's eyes bounced around Dean's face. 

Dean grabbed hold of Sam, squeezed him in a strong embrace. "Sammy... what is this? What are we doing here?" 

"I knew you were the only one. You were it for me Dean." He laughed, "I mean, I guess I always knew, some part of me did anyway."

They didn't have time for this. "I need you to focus Sam." Dean grabbed both sides of Sam's face, tried to turn his gaze from the couch to his own eyes. "Why are we here?" Dean knew he'd made it into Sam's mind, and if they were in his memory of that house then Lucifer was somewhere else controlling his body. Dean had to snap him out of it somehow.

"I love you, Dean. Always loved you." Sam said dazedly. 

"I know baby, I love you too. You need to listen to me though. We gotta get out of this place Sam. We have to find Lucifer now before it's too late. Do you hear me? Sam?" Dean slapped Sam across his face. Finally his eyes focused on Dean's, his had rubbing his cheek. Dean swallowed down the flash of guilt he felt at the childlike hurt he saw on Sam's face. He grabbed his brother's shoulders and leaned in, filling his view Sam's face. "We. Have. To. Find. Lucifer. Now." Dean punctuated each word with a shake of Sam's shoulders. 

"Yeah Dean, he's out there," Sam tilted his head towards the front door. Dean bolted for the door, pulling Sam behind by his arm. He stopped hard after throwing it open, confronted by heat and a sea of flames. It looked as if the house was floating inside the bowels of a fiery volcano. 

"We have to get out of here, do you understand me Sam?" Sam blinked slowly back at him. It then occurred to Dean that whatever he was talking to it wasn't Sam. Maybe a shadow of him, a facsimile. Some small part of his subconscious. Dean really didn't know how much of his brother was present and how much was somewhere else fighting for control, but at least he was still fighting. He was going to have to get this part of Sam to take him to the other. 

"No. Don't leave, you'll get hurt. Safe here. Stay with me."

He hadn't considered that his thoughts wouldn't be private while he was in Sam's head. "NO! You will not keep me trapped here while you fight him on your own! Do you hear me! Sam!" Dean had to get out of this house, out of this memory if he was going to find him. He turned and leaped into the fire, hoping enough of Sam was paying attention to not let him burn, if that were even possible. His feet landed on a patch of bright green grass. 

"Come back Dean," Sam longingly called from the doorway. "Stay with me, please." 

"You know I can't do that Sammy. Let me help you. You can't beat him on your own." Sam seemed to consider that a moment, a flicker of real Sam made eye contact with Dean.

The house, and Sam, rushed away until only darkness was left, then Sam was beside him. "You always have been a stubborn ass."

"If that ain't the pot callin' the kettle black," Dean replied

"Come on, we have to keep moving." They turned to run and a garden maze rose around them, kept rising until Dean couldn't tell where it ended.. Sam lead them around the bends and turns. Finally Dean stopped them both.

"We can't just keep running."

"I know that, I just have to think of something."

"We're in your head, can't you just imagine a prison or something and lock him in, or blow him up or something?" Before Dean finished the question a loud roar swept over them like a shock wave, clearing out the brush of the maze they were in. Before them stood an enormous beast, Lucifer. 

"ENOUGH!" It bellowed.

"Tried that already Dean!" Sam said as an iron cage appeared instantly surrounding the fallen angel on all sides, comically covered in chains and locks. Lucifer just as quickly sent it flying away in pieces with an effortless spread of his wings. "He has as much control in here as I do!" A field of artillery appeared and fired at Lucifer in unison, the shells bouncing off the creature with no effect. Lucifer answered with a blast of flames spewing forth from the beast's mouth. Suddenly the brothers were enclosed in a large igloo, Sam looked around before giving Dean an exasperated look.

"What? It was the first thing I thought of, okay!?" Dean said defensively. Apparently he could exert some control here as well. 

"Come on," Sam said, opening a hatch in the floor that appeared out of nowhere. Together they ran down winding stone steps before turning into a labyrinth of passageways. "I've been able to keep him from getting a hold of me but he's learning how to control things faster. I don't think he expected a fight. He was surprised when I tried to wrestle control away from him."

So Lucifer was expecting a willing slave. "We have to kill him, now," Dean said.

"I don't think we can, not in here at least. But I don't think he can kill me either. You on the other hand... You have to get back to your own body Dean."

"Even if I knew how to do that I'm not leaving while he's still inside you. If we can't kill him here then we have to force him out somehow."

"I think I have an idea on how to do that, but-" Sam said.

"-But I'll have to be the bait," Dean said. He had read Sam's mind, already knew the plan in Sam's head. The stone walls began falling away and the brothers were again confronted with Lucifer directly ahead of them. "Let's do it Sammy."

***

The plan was pretty straightforward. Let Lucifer realize Dean was not another part of Sam's imagination, let him figure out how important he was to Sam, then run like hell. If Lucifer saw him as leverage he should take up the chase, hopefully following Dean right out of Sam's body. Sam would play along then give them both the kick they needed to get the hell out. The real challenge was that they'd both have to believe all of this themselves as much as possible or risk Lucifer seeing through the ruse. 

"Dean run! Now!" Sam's panicked yell spurred Dean to run much faster than would have been possible in the real world. He looked over his shoulder to see Lucifer's focus changing from Sam to himself. 

"Ahhh what is this? Your pet?" Lucifer said. He must have dug into Sam's head enough to understand their connection. "Perhaps he will convince you to obey me."

"No! Leave him out of this you bastard!" Sam screamed back, and if Dean was being honest his brother was over playing it a little. Lucifer shot into the air with a beat of his massive wings before swooping down towards Dean. No matter how fast he ran the dark angel continued closing the distance rapidly. 

"Saaaaaaaaaaam!" Dean stretched the name out, pitch rising the longer he said it, then he was blinded before everything went dark.

***

Sam opened his eyes, closed them again when the red-orange light proved to be too much. He tried again, only opening a sliver until he could focus enough to look around. Dean was rolling onto his back, then sitting up. To his right was another human figure also just coming around. Sam scrambled to his feet, made to move towards Dean but was stopped cold by Crowley's voice. "Wait." The demon was holding a large curved knife that appeared to be carved from bone and teeth. Crowley looked from Sam to what could only be Lucifer in human form. Sam slowly raised his hands and took a step back. 

Dean lunged at Lucifer from a crouch and the two figures began wrestling for dominance. Sam pushed more and more power into Dean in an effort to help him overcome the angel's power. Crowley smiled, huffed, and dropped his arm. "You know Moose," he said, turning the knife in his hand. "Don't make me regret this." He tossed the knife to Sam before disintegrating into a greasy cloud of black smoke and speeding away to the surface. 

Sam rushed to Dean just as he was being thrown from Lucifer with a roar. Sam kept running flat out, letting his momentum drive him and the knife into Lucifer's now exposed front. He felt the knife sink deep into his chest with a sickening squelch. Lucifer threw Sam aside in the next instant, sending him rolling back the way he'd come. He looked up in time to see Dean rushing the fallen angel again.

"YOU THINK THIS CAN KILL ME?" Lucifer boomed, laughing deeply, not bothering to remove the knife. He easily caught Dean by the neck and squeezed. Sam sent every ounce of power he had to Dean to keep his neck intact, causing him to collapse as he watched his brother's eyes bulge. A second later a meteor crashed into the depths only feet away, exploding in white and blue light. Great, another wonderful feature of hell, Sam thought, as if Satan wasn't enough to contend with.

"I AM THE CREATION OF GOD ITSELF, THE FIRST ANGEL, NOTHING CAN KILL ME!" Lucifer bellowed triumphantly. 

"Except another angel," Castiel said deadpan, standing in the crater he'd just made while huge white wings disappeared behind his trench coat. He was holding a silver sword, wide at the base and pointed at the end. The weapon was glowing as if excited for the potential bloodshed to come. He tightened his grip and stepped towards Lucifer.

Lucifer let out a frustrated groan, shaking his head and jerking Dean around like a rag doll. He turned to Castiel and let forth a blast of white light that knocked the angel off his feet and sent the sword flying. The blade tumbled towards Sam landing mere feet away.

Sam knew he had to get the sword but couldn't risk disrupting his connection to Dean. One lapse and it would be all over for him. It was taking everything they both had to keep Dean's head from being snapped clean off. He carefully crawled towards it and slowly reached his hand out while another blast of light forced Castiel back to the ground. 

"Deeeaan," He struggled to speak while desperately trying to balance physical and supernatural strength. Dean's eyes moved from his own to the sword then back to him, an eyebrow twitch telling him that Dean was on the same page. Sam gathered his physical strength, there would be no power to spare for his next move if he was going to keep Dean alive. He grabbed it and concentrated on his brother. He'd only have one shot at getting this right.

Another blast from Lucifer and Sam threw the sword, watched it spin in the air in slow motion as it approached his brother. Dean reached out as the sword went a little wide, opened his hand and caught it by the handle, wasting no time as he plunged it into Lucifer's gut. 

The fallen angel let go of Dean immediately and he dropped like a sack of potatoes. Emitting a deafening shriek Lucifer's body was consumed in light and flame before disappearing completely.

Sam crawled over to Dean's side, straightened his bright red neck and squeezed his hand. "Dean, wake up. Come on now open your eyes for me." He lowered his ear to his chest, heard no heartbeat. "No, wake up!" Sam pounded on Dean's chest, tried to feel him through their bound souls but felt nothing but his own energy quickly waning. 

"He cannot survive here, nor can you for much longer. We have to go now," Cas said from over Sam's shoulder. 

"Then get us out of here Cas!" 

"I cannot transport you from here the way that I can in the material world," Cas replied. He bent down and tucked the sword in his pants before gently placing Dean over his shoulder. "You'll need to hold on," he said to Sam, opening his free arm. Sam grabbed the angel around the waist and Cas held him tightly in return. 

Castiel unfurled his huge wings and with a beat Sam felt like he'd been shot from a cannon. They rose, much faster than his descent had been, and Sam held on with all he had left. Less than a minute later they broke through, the cool night air feeling like redemption to Sam. Cas brought them to a gentle stop just outside the gate to Bobby's yard. He and Sam laid Dean's body flat on the ground and Sam again listened for a heartbeat that wasn't there. 

"Help him Cas, bring him back, please," Sam pleaded. 

"His body can sustain him but his soul is within you Sam. Dean would have died in hell had he not escaped to your own body. He will have to return on his own before it is too late."

"But... how...."

"I can reach him but you will have to let me in."

"Yeah do what you have to, just do it fast," Sam said, frantic.

Cas placed a hand on Sam's head and his body collapsed beside Dean's.

***

Dean really didn't want to get up. He'd just had the best night of his life and was determined to make it last as long as possible. He held Sam close, had been holding him all night. His brother was going to be staying at Bobby's and he wasn't sure he'd ever have this chance again. So he closed his eyes and willed the sun to reverse course and hold off dawn just a little bit longer. He took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of Sam's hair and neck. Nothing could be better than this. He decided to risk a light kiss where Sam's neck met his shoulder. He'd never kissed Sam before and the act was exhilarating. It caused a stir in his chest, among other places. 

"Dean, you have to leave."

The voice came from the bedroom door and Dean's head shot up while he rolled on his back to create space between himself and Sam. He looked to see who the intruder was acting like he'd just been woken up. A man in a trench coat. One of Bobby's friends? He certainly didn't look threatening anyway. 

"I don't know who you are but it's definitely not cool to try to drag a man out of bed at this hour."

"Get up," Cas said, stepping forward and reaching out his hand. "Take my hand Dean."

"Whoa, you gotta at least buy me dinner before asking to hold hands." Dean rolled back onto his side facing Sam but leaving a few inches between them. "Now go away," He said, throwing the blanket over his head. 

"Dean there's no time, if you don't leave right now your body will die."

Okay, now he was officially annoyed. "Look buddy, I don't know who you are or what you're angle is but you'll walk out of here now if you know what's good for you."

He heard the man taking steps towards him. Well, he thought, if this is how the guy wants this to go down he'd just make quick work of him and get back to Sam. He threw back the covers and rolled off the bed onto his feet. He did not expect the man to grab him in a bear hug, but his surprise was short lived. 

***

Sam had an uncanny sensation that only lasted a few seconds before it was gone and Cas was standing again. "Cas?"

"Dean is returned to his own body." 

Sam lowered his head to Dean's chest again, this time finding the music of his beating heart. He stood and pulled Cas into a tight hug. "Thank you, thank you so much." 

"Of course," Cas quietly replied.

"I don't, I don't feel it anymore. The power, everything around me," Sam said.

"Your power was always tied to Lucifer. When he was destroyed you could no longer replace what you used. It took everything you had left to survive in hell until I could get you both out."

"So I'm... normal now?" 

"You're still a freak," Dean said, his voice hoarse. "We both are, and I like it just fine that way. I don't want nuthin' to do with normal." 

Sam took hold of Dean's outstretched hand and pulled him up and into his arms. Dean tried to say more but was cut off by Sam's mouth devouring his own. The kiss was wet, sloppy and neither of them wanted it to end.


	22. Epilogue

Dean heard the crunch of tires on gravel and rolled out from under the car he'd been working on. That would be Sam returning from class at the university about an hour up the road. They'd recuperated at Bobby's after everything and just kind of never left. Dean had wanted to, at first. Getting back on the road was a habit that was hard to quit. Even though Lucifer and Azazel were gone it was hard to shake the sense of urgency he had to keep moving. Sam, on the other hand, had been thinking just the opposite. The last thing he'd wanted to do was get back on the road, said it felt like running and he'd had enough of that. 

That's when Bobby, seeing the tension growing between the two, had stepped in. He told Dean he needed help on an old Chevelle that'd been sitting in the yard half restored. Then practically in the same breath he'd casually mentioned Sam finishing his degree at the University a couple of towns over. Dean hadn't seen his brother perk up like that in a long time. Turned out the school had several classes online that Sam could do from Bobby's and he'd only have to drive to classes two days a week. It also turned out that restoring a car was a much greater challenge than just fixing one. Dean needed to make the car look brand new, not just get it running, and he found the challenge rewarding. Now he was on his fourth project car and Dean had found the work to be quite financially rewarding as well. 

So they stayed. In the RV at first, then Bobby had told them about an old cabin in the back of his property that needed a lot of work. And boy, had he been right about that. "It's yours if you boys fix it up," He'd said. Dean had felt incredibly grateful to the man until they actually saw the place. Dean had wanted to raze it and start over but Sam had insisted on keeping the original cabin and building off of that. It had taken the better part of a year, fixing the roof, adding on a large bedroom, kitchen, study and bathroom, getting it plumbed and connected to the grid. It was practically an all new house by the time they finished. The cabin effectively served as a living room now, but Dean had to admit that the rustic feel was nice. After moving in Bobby had presented them with a large envelope of papers. He was not only giving them the place, but five surrounding acres that butted up to the main road. "So you two can clear out your own drive," He'd said. It'd brought tears to Sam's eyes and left Dean speechless. He hoped the hug he gave the old man had properly conveyed his thanks.

Dean brushed himself off and walked towards the Impala as it came to a stop. Sam got out, threw a backpack over his shoulder and gave Dean a kiss. "Hey there stud," Sam said, eyes lingering over Dean's bare, grease stained chest. Dean couldn't help the goofy smile that took over his face. 

"Hey hot stuff. How was class? Learn anything you didn't already know?" He asked. He couldn't help it, he would never see the value in paying someone to prove you read a few books. It wasn't like Sam wanted to be a doctor or build bridges, he was majoring in History for god's sake. 

"It was good, and yes, I did," Sam replied, walking past Dean and into their house. 

"I'm gonna get a shower, you relax. I hope you're hungry," Dean said

"I'm starving,' Sam said.

"Good, stay out of the kitchen." Dean raised his eyebrows at Sam until he got a confused look of agreement. It was their anniversary and he had a special meal planned for them, a special evening, but first he needed to get cleaned up.

They'd pretty much stayed exhausted over the last year. Building the house, working on the cars and Sam's class schedule had left no time or energy for anything but the briefest moments of intimacy. He intended to change that tonight.

***

"Okay, come in," Dean called from the kitchen. Everything was on the table and while it wasn't the most elegant display, he wasn't afraid to admit that it looked damn good. He grabbed the Champagne and waited for Sam to come in, popped it when he stopped in the threshold. 

"Dean, this looks..." 

"Pretty good, right?" 

"Amazing." 

He watched Sam's eyes roam around the table and there it was, the look of recognition he was waiting for. Sam took a step forward, reached out to touch the rim of the pot of mac and cheese with hot dogs sitting in the middle of the table. A slow smile crept across his face. It wasn't the fanciest dish, but Dean had also made filet's topped with blue cheese, seared salmon, asparagus, baked potatoes and steamed veggies.

Sam scooped some of the mac and cheese onto his plate, ignoring everything else, and turned to Dean with a look that Dean would be happy to stare at for the rest of time. Dean stepped into Sam's space and slowly took a hot dog slice off his plate and brought it to his lips. He paused, holding eye contact for a moment before finally putting it in his mouth. Sam's eyes moved to his lips and Dean slowly sucked his fingers clean.

Sam grabbed hold of Dean's face and kissed him, long and deep. Dean wondered if Sam wasn't going to stop until there was no trace of cheese sauce left in his mouth. All rational thoughts ceased a second later when Sam's hand started rubbing his erection through his jeans. He was going to have to cook more often.

Sam turned him around and walked him backwards out of the kitchen, through the living room and into their bedroom. He didn't break the kiss until he pushed Dean onto the bed, tearing his shirt open then doing the same to his jeans. Dean lay back on his elbows and watched. Listened as his shirt buttons landed on the wood floor. Watched Sam pull off his jeans and toss them to the side. Sam sat back on his heels after that and devoured Dean with his eyes. Dean loved the carnal look Sam got when seeing him like this, fully exposed and all his. He spread his legs open a little, wondered if Sam might actually start drooling. 

Sam stood, quickly removed his clothes and crawled back on the bed. He lowered himself between Dean's legs, kissed the inside of his thighs. Dean straightened out, scooted his ass out a little and opened his legs wider. Sam dove right in, mouthing at his balls with his lips and tongue. Dean put his hands on Sam's head and held him place. He knew Sam loved having him in control, and it suited Dean just fine. Dean drew his legs up, let them fall open while Sam gently sucked his balls one at a time. 

Dean couldn't handle his dick jumping around any longer so he moved his right hand to his shaft, squeezing and slowly stroking as Sam moved below his balls and used his tongue to tease at his hole. Sam's tongue moved to the top of his ass and he dragged it all the way up, applying deep pressure over his opening but not stopping. He kept licking instead, moving back over his balls until his nose was pushing Dean's hand off of his dick. Dean's hips jerked up as Sam plunged his mouth over his cock until Dean was pushing into his throat. Sam held it there for a moment and Dean tried desperately not to fuck his mouth but he was only so strong. He twitched up higher, the pressure of his head against Sam's throat sending shocks of pleasure throughout his body. 

Sam finally lifted off, rising just halfway up Dean's shaft while he worked his tongue around the tip. Dean couldn't hold back any longer, he took hold of the side of Sam's head and started fucking, holding him in place while he pistoned up from the bed. He was rewarded with a deep groan from Sam, who used his free hand to rub Dean's chest and squeeze at his nipples. It put Dean in a frenzy, and he rolled them over so that Sam was on his back and Dean on his hands and knees. He fucked Sam's mouth with abandon, hitting his throat, teeth, and occasionally popping out completely and rubbing it against his face. None of it mattered, it'd been too long since he had Sam like this.

He felt his orgasm building. He wanted to hold off as long as possible but he knew Sam was close too. Sam was holding onto his ass with one hand and holding his dick with the other. The fact that he wasn't moving his hand told Dean he was already on the verge himself. "Gonna come Sammy. Gonna come in your mouth" Sam grabbed his ass tighter and started jerking himself again, fast and hard. Dean clenched his eyes shut and unloaded, jerking through his orgasm that was made all the more intense by the squeeze of Sam's swallowing throat. He felt Sam's load hitting him in the ass and back, and damn was it hot as fuck. 

Dean collapsed onto his elbows, rolled off of Sam and sprawled on his back. Sam scooted up the bed beside him, let a long arm splay across Dean. They lay there breathing heavily for a few minutes.

"Fuck," Dean said.

"Yeah."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it, thanks for reading.


End file.
